The Sovereignty of God And Marriage

[Thousand Hills]

Ok, I recently heard the following 2 part message from a pastor/comedian named Mark Gungor on Focus on the Family.

Part 1: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/radio.aspx?ID={798461A0-F684-4CDA-BA6B-9E7173D8D93D}

Part 2: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/radio.aspx?ID={559B05A8-10D7-4474-9BF1-52369601F410}

I generally agree with most everything the guy had to say, and his overall presentation was funny and great. One thing that did give me some heartburn though was something the speaker said during the Interview session in Part 2, if you listen its at about the 10 minute mark.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding him a bit, but he basically says the idea of a "soul mate" is wrong, that God doesn't have that one "perfect" person out there for everybody. If there was one "perfect" person, God would want them as far away from us as possible, as he is a jealous God and wants us dependent on him. He said the only thing in the bible about marriage is the unequally yoked part, and that the principals of Christian living are so powerful, if we live them out, as long as the couple are Christians thats all that matters. Essentially, the players are not the key, the principals are.

I see where he's coming from. And the reality is that none of us are perfect, and as Christians we have to live out God's word in our relationship with our spouse, in order to have a successful marriage. It begins first with our relationship with God and dependency on him.

What I have a problem with, and again maybe I'm reading to much into it, but, does God not care who we marry as long as they are a fellow believer? I tend to have a high view of God working in all situations. And from personal experience I can look back and see where, in my opinion, the Lord led me to meet my wife, where he was working at certain times in her life, and working at certain times in my life to bring us together. And I know this gives me great comfort during tough and stressful times in our marriage, to think about how God brought us together.

So what do you say?:

The Principles and Not the Players are Key
or
God is Involved In Marriages To the Point He Brings Certain Individuals Together As Part of His Plan (Still dependent on him, but he knows each unique personality and purposely brings them together)

 

[Benjamin]

I think God cares who we marry, but pre-determine for us a perfect soul mate? Nah, my wife would probably laugh outloud at that ...as a matter of fact on the reverse side I would suspect that maybe God could be exercising a sense of humor when allowing certain couples to come together.

:BangHead:

:laugh:

 

[menageriekeeper]

Hmmm, I've been married 23 years. Ain't either one of us "perfect"! (And that is one thing we BOTH agree on!)

If we hadn't had our principals right, we probably wouldn't still be married. It would have been way easier to divorce when things got rough than to give each other the time we needed to mature out of selfishness, laziness, and control issues as well as the whole host of little irritating habits that we each have! (the toliet seat ain't one of them lol)

And btw, we both knew from our first conversation that we would end up married. That's as perfect as it gets. Marriage is work. You can't live on love alone, but by every word that proceeds......(isn't that how the verse goes?)

 

[freeatlast]

Ok, I recently heard the following 2 part message from a pastor/comedian named Mark Gungor on Focus on the Family.

Part 1: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/radio.aspx?ID=%7B798461A0-F684-4CDA-BA6B-9E7173D8D93D%7D

Part 2: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/radio.aspx?ID={559B05A8-10D7-4474-9BF1-52369601F410}

I generally agree with most everything the guy had to say, and his overall presentation was funny and great. One thing that did give me some heartburn though was something the speaker said during the Interview session in Part 2, if you listen its at about the 10 minute mark.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding him a bit, but he basically says the idea of a "soul mate" is wrong, that God doesn't have that one "perfect" person out there for everybody. If there was one "perfect" person, God would want them as far away from us as possible, as he is a jealous God and wants us dependent on him. He said the only thing in the bible about marriage is the unequally yoked part, and that the principals of Christian living are so powerful, if we live them out, as long as the couple are Christians thats all that matters. Essentially, the players are not the key, the principals are.

I see where he's coming from. And the reality is that none of us are perfect, and as Christians we have to live out God's word in our relationship with our spouse, in order to have a successful marriage. It begins first with our relationship with God and dependency on him.

What I have a problem with, and again maybe I'm reading to much into it, but, does God not care who we marry as long as they are a fellow believer? I tend to have a high view of God working in all situations. And from personal experience I can look back and see where, in my opinion, the Lord led me to meet my wife, where he was working at certain times in her life, and working at certain times in my life to bring us together. And I know this gives me great comfort during tough and stressful times in our marriage, to think about how God brought us together.

So what do you say?:

The Principles and Not the Players are Key
or
God is Involved In Marriages To the Point He Brings Certain Individuals Together As Part of His Plan (Still dependent on him, but he knows each unique personality and purposely brings them together)

There is no biblical reason to believe that God brings every couple together as an absolute rule for every marriage. The only clear reference where God put two people together is in Gen with Adam and Eve and she started the fall and sinned against her husband. There is at least one other reference where God perhaps put two together after prayer, but other then those there is no reason to believe it is His practice to play cupid.
The passage that says what God has put together let not man separate is not suggesting that God brought them together to meet. It is saying that God has put His approval on marriage and because of that God is putting them together in marriage if they so choose one another.They do the choosing and God sanctifies the marriage.

 

[John of Japan]

I've never used the term "perfect soul mate." No one is perfect of course. Plus, even a couple that are just right for each other have to work hard to make a good marriage.

Having said that, I believe that if young people will let Him and pray earnestly for His will, He will guide them to that person He has planned for them. My wife and I are a living testament to that. I prayed for 9 years for God's will in marriage, and He led me through our mission board leadership to a wonderful girl who wanted to be a missionary. He even led us both separately on the matter of our wedding date. (We celebrated our 2nd anniversary in the air on the way to Japan.) Here is the story of how God lead us together: http://www.johnofjapan.org/articles.php?ID=24

I have a couple of little books by Don Hillis that give many similar stories of missionaries God specifically led together: For More Than a Diamond and Love Is. But God doesn't just lead missionary couples together. He loves every single believer enough to give perfect guidance in the matter of marriage.

Considering the story of how God led Isaac and Rebekah together in the Word, I believe that is there as an example for us, just as many things are in the OT. The servant prayed very specifically and God led him very specifically. And who could believe that Joseph and Mary, Isaiah and his wife "the prophetess," Hosea and his ex-prostitute wife, Peter and his missionary wife, Aquila and Priscilla and many others in the Bible were not specifically led together in the plan of God?

 

[HAMel]

As for a "Soul Mate", I don't put much stock in such a notion. To me it's so New Age.

 

[Cypress]

If you didn't marry the "one", who would you have married? Plan b,c,m, or z? Kinda hard for me to picture how things would work out if you somehow missed the "one". So I don't feel there is a one, although the one and only that I have been married to for twenty five years and I are very thankful to God for each other. The question really runs deeper into what our view is towards how God's will works out in our lives.

 

[Thousand Hills]

Having said that, I believe that if young people will let Him and pray earnestly for His will, He will guide them to that person He has planned for them. My wife and I are a living testament to that. I prayed for 9 years for God's will in marriage, and He led me through our mission board leadership to a wonderful girl who wanted to be a missionary. He even led us both separately on the matter of our wedding date. (We celebrated our 2nd anniversary in the air on the way to Japan.) Here is the story of how God lead us together: http://www.johnofjapan.org/articles.php?ID=24

John, Thank You for sharing this wonderful story. :thumbs:

 

[John of Japan]

John, Thank You for sharing this wonderful story. :thumbs:

You're welcome. "House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD." (Pr. 19:14):godisgood:

 

[Tom Butler]

As for a "Soul Mate", I don't put much stock in such a notion. To me it's so New Age.

My wife is also not my best friend. She is my wife. I am her husband. I'm not her best friend, either.

Now guys, if you've used that expression before, don't get upset. I see my wife differently from someone who I want as my best friend. That's all.

And frankly, touchy-feely is not me, either.

 

[glfredrick]

I married the ONE. I am most blessed among men!

While I don't carry all the weight of "soul mate" either, I do see marriage as akin to the gospel itself, for God set apart marriage before the fall into sin, and all the commandments of God toward marriage are still in force for all people. God gave us human marriage to show us the marriage of His church, the bride of Christ, to the Bridegroom, Christ Himself. In marriage, the two become one flesh, as "in Christ" the people become one with Him.

ANY women we men marry ought to be THE ONE, as far as God is concerned. We are, at the very least, to love our wife as Christ loved the church, and I don't see an out anywhere in Scripture that says, "only if she is your soul mate," or "only if she meets all your needs." That is sinful and rebellious hogwash! In a Christian sense, ANY man ought have the potential to be successfully married to ANY woman. Anything less is not Christian!