Then I Did sin

[evangelist6589]

Talking with the pastor he says I made two errors the first was marrying her and the second was the divorce. The first an unwise decision and the second a sinful act. So this means that both Keener and Erwin Lutzer are wrong. Lutzer said in a book quote that divorce is tragically the only option in a case of persistent abuse. He recommended I try and reconcile with her but he does not suspect the marriage to be restored.

 

[annsni]

I'm glad that you are getting good and biblical counsel Evan. I pray that God will guide you through restoration with Him and possibly with your wife.

I'd guess that when Lutzer says that divorce is the only option in persistent abuse, he is addressing the cases that I've dealt with - physical abuse. Being called to a friend's house by her 5 year old son because his father just beat his mother into almost unconsciousness...again. Her jaw was broken, her arm was broken, the 3 children were cowering in the closet. The police were there and my friend was being tended to by paramedics. In this case, I helped her as she went through the divorce. It was for her safety and her children's safety. Her husband was just that unsafe. It's been 12 years and she is still single because she feels that biblically she should not be married again. She found her feet and her voice and is now an advocate for abused wives and her children walk with the Lord. I don't think Lutzer was addressing being unhappy but actual physical abuse.

 

[evangelist6589]

I'm glad that you are getting good and biblical counsel Evan. I pray that God will guide you through restoration with Him and possibly with your wife.

I'd guess that when Lutzer says that divorce is the only option in persistent abuse, he is addressing the cases that I've dealt with - physical abuse. Being called to a friend's house by her 5 year old son because his father just beat his mother into almost unconsciousness...again. Her jaw was broken, her arm was broken, the 3 children were cowering in the closet. The police were there and my friend was being tended to by paramedics. In this case, I helped her as she went through the divorce. It was for her safety and her children's safety. Her husband was just that unsafe. It's been 12 years and she is still single because she feels that biblically she should not be married again. She found her feet and her voice and is now an advocate for abused wives and her children walk with the Lord. I don't think Lutzer was addressing being unhappy but actual physical abuse.

Wonder where my critics are? They have yet to show up to this thread probably because they enjoy criticizing me and definitely do not want to help me just as I suspected.

 

[JonShaff]

Wonder where my critics are? They have yet to show up to this thread probably because they enjoy criticizing me and definitely do not want to help me just as I suspected.

I'm here, still praying for you brother because i love you and firmly believe in the Ministry of Reconciliation. Nobody wants to see you fail brother. We want you to have an intimate Relationship with Jesus Christ, but that also means agreeing with God as to what your sin is. The kisses of an enemy are deceitful; faithful are the wounds of a friend...

 

[Scarlett O.]

Wonder where my critics are? They have yet to show up to this thread probably because they enjoy criticizing me and definitely do not want to help me just as I suspected.

Dear brother, please don't go in that direction. You once considered annsni a critic and she is here for you and so is Jonshaff. Besides, when someone shows they have learned something, even the harshest of "critics" don't like to say I-told-you-so and won't say it.

I'm so very glad you are seeing someone live and in person. I know it will help so very much. I would keep seeing him for a while. Speaking as someone who goes to counseling, one of the best things about it is saying and hearing the words out loud - having a real conversation where feelings and pain get passed the lips into the open air.

THEN it can be dealt with.

 

[Yeshua1]

Talking with the pastor he says I made two errors the first was marrying her and the second was the divorce. The first an unwise decision and the second a sinful act. So this means that both Keener and Erwin Lutzer are wrong. Lutzer said in a book quote that divorce is tragically the only option in a case of persistent abuse. He recommended I try and reconcile with her but he does not suspect the marriage to be restored.

Once both of you were married, that was t will ofGod fo your lives...
And your wife was physically abusing you?

 

[Yeshua1]

Wonder where my critics are? They have yet to show up to this thread probably because they enjoy criticizing me and definitely do not want to help me just as I suspected.

Glad that you are seeking godly advice, just make sure to follow it...

 

[blessedwife318]

Talking with the pastor he says I made two errors the first was marrying her and the second was the divorce. The first an unwise decision and the second a sinful act. So this means that both Keener and Erwin Lutzer are wrong. Lutzer said in a book quote that divorce is tragically the only option in a case of persistent abuse. He recommended I try and reconcile with her but he does not suspect the marriage to be restored.

Its good to see you have gotten some Godly counsel from this pastor. God can do amazing things when we trust Him and follow His prescription laid out in the Bible, so restoration of the marriage is not doomed until one of you has passed away.

 

[Rolfe]

Wonder where my critics are? They have yet to show up to this thread probably because they enjoy criticizing me and definitely do not want to help me just as I suspected.

I doubt that those you think of as your Critics enjoy answering your calls for help, only to be discounted and offered pictures of rabbits instead.

I am glad that you went to speak to someone, and that individual told you to go back to your Wife.

 

[Don]

Wonder where my critics are? They have yet to show up to this thread probably because they enjoy criticizing me....

Perhaps because they DON'T enjoy criticizing you, and were attempting to help you -- with the same advice that your pastor has now given you, and you seem to be taking?

...and definitely do not want to help me....

Your opening post seemed to be an update, rather than seeking help. Is there something at this point that you'd like us to comment on?

...just as I suspected.

Suspected what, exactly? That we'd jump in here with a bunch of "I told you so's"?

Praying for you. There's a lot you're dealing with.

 

[Salty]

I was disappointed that you called out your critics. We are not here to fight - but rather to support each other. You posted this at 2 pm (EST) - keep in mind that many people have a life outside of BB
Also, many have give you advice - and you have ignored it - so some may have just washed their hands.

My thoughts - I am glad you are getting some counseling.
Most important - stay in the Word - and be praying for you wife. ( and dont refer to her as an ex-wife)
Let her know that you are concerned. A wise man once mentioned to me that in a situation such as this - you are walking on egg shells. So be careful what you say to her.
I still believe in miracles - just take it one day at a time -
Keep us posted.

 

[JonShaff]

Let me quote the entirety of the proverb so as not to confuse anyone...

Proverbs 27:5-6 Open rebuke is better than secret love.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

 

[evangelist6589]

I will respond to these posts when I get time I just have been busy.

 

[Yeshua1]

I will respond to these posts when I get time I just have been busy.

remember that the Lord wants you to take time to be with Him and godly people, and keep praying for your wife...