How are you going to handle when your wife ask you to share the Gospel to a man that later you found that, that man and your wife have an affair.
I would assume that from the “have” and not pass tense (have had) it is ongoing.
I also assume you may be the pastor or leader in an assembly and have concerns considering the testimony of the home.
That is something that should not be dealt with on this BB other than prayer offered.
Affairs are the most difficult, for women and men see these things quite differently.
Betrayal is not easily overcome, and it is at this time a man is brought to self doubt, intense even blinding rage, and often self destructive decisions.
If you desire, and discern you want some privacy to communicate with anonymity, then I would suggest contacting the moderators directly for whom they suggest from the BB to help you through the various media (email, face time, zoom, …)
Until then, tamp down the expressions of self hurt, get alone with God for He knows more about the situation then anyone, and tell the wife you expect a lab report concerning her health before there is any physical activity involving you and the children with her.