Unsaved in-laws

[heisrisen]

How can I cope when unsaved family is visiting? They ask about what my kids will be for Halloween, ask if they can get them wicked movies, use God's name in vain, etc etc. It's so hard for me. I love them and have a good relationship with them, but it's hard to deal with the ungodliness, especially because I'm trying to raise my kids in the Lord. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I have a really hard time just coming out and saying things that I'm not comfortable with. I know they'll look at me like I'm crazy or be upset with me, which I know I shouldn't even care about. I stand with God, but I want to be more bold. Not rude just bold. I also don't even want to tell them my daughter will be homeschooled. How do I get over biting my tongue, and just speak on my convictions?

 

[Sue-Ellen]

They should respect you, your family and your home regardless of their own beliefs. They are in your home, they shouldn't be swearing or disrespecting any of you. Your spouse should sit them down and talk to them and tell them what is expected when they visit your home. You don't have to be rude about it just let them know the way things are. It shouldn't be their concern solid you want to homeschool your children. They are your children and it is your life. They need to respect. I hope you can get them to see that.

 

[Darrell C]

How can I cope when unsaved family is visiting? They ask about what my kids will be for Halloween, ask if they can get them wicked movies, use God's name in vain, etc etc. It's so hard for me. I love them and have a good relationship with them, but it's hard to deal with the ungodliness, especially because I'm trying to raise my kids in the Lord. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I have a really hard time just coming out and saying things that I'm not comfortable with. I know they'll look at me like I'm crazy or be upset with me, which I know I shouldn't even care about. I stand with God, but I want to be more bold. Not rude just bold. I also don't even want to tell them my daughter will be homeschooled. How do I get over biting my tongue, and just speak on my convictions?

Since it is in-laws involved, an important aspect is your spouse. Your icon indicates you are the wife, and this makes it a little easier as for your part, unless your husband is not in agreement with you. If he is, then it really falls on him to be the spokesman, as he is to be the head of the Household, as well as the fact that it is his family.

How they react is not an element in the course of action you, as a Christian, should take. It is just going to happen that unbelievers are going to be offended by your life, if you live for God. It is an affront to them, as they see it as a condemnation of themselves, which is not something you generate...but something that God generates.

So let the Lord use you in the ministry of conviction of unbelievers, and you will see that these kinds of things have a habit of working themselves out.

Just as an example, I had to talk my brother into allowing us to remove his son from public school and entering him into a Private Christian School (both I and my wife work so we did not really have the advantage of home-schooling). At that time my brother was nominal in his beliefs, and when he did go to "church," it was a Catholic Church, and his reason for going there was because...we are Irish, lol.

The end result at this point is this: he is now a member of the Baptist Church which his kids (yes plural, because all three ended up going) were students of the Christian Academy of (and this is my fellowship as well). Forgotten were the arguments he presented as reasons why he didn't want his kid going to a Christian School.

So hang in there. You do what you do for the right reasons, maintaining your convictions. This will have impact on believers, and sometimes, even though that impact seems negative on the surface, we just don't know what is going on underneath.


God bless.

 

[heisrisen]

Thank yo

They should respect you, your family and your home regardless of their own beliefs. They are in your home, they shouldn't be swearing or disrespecting any of you. Your spouse should sit them down and talk to them and tell them what is expected when they visit your home. You don't have to be rude about it just let them know the way things are. It shouldn't be their concern solid you want to homeschool your children. They are your children and it is your life. They need to respect. I hope you can get them to see that.

Thank you!

 

[heisrisen]

I believe you should prayerfully and tactfully let your in-laws know exactly where you stand on these issues. You and your husband (I am assuming you are a "she") need to be of the same mind on this or else it will not work. in fact, if your husband is a Christian, he is the one who should explain this to his parents. This would take you out of the line of fire.

As for backlash, yes, it could happen. The Gospel is a stumbling stone and a rock of offense (1 Peter 2:8). Christians are an aroma of death to those who are perishing (2 Corinthians 2:16). Unbelievers usually do not respond well when faced with those who are committed to live for Christ.

I pray that the Lord will give you and your husband courage.

Awesome thoughtful response. Thank you

 

[heisrisen]

Since it is in-laws involved, an important aspect is your spouse. Your icon indicates you are the wife, and this makes it a little easier as for your part, unless your husband is not in agreement with you. If he is, then it really falls on him to be the spokesman, as he is to be the head of the Household, as well as the fact that it is his family.

How they react is not an element in the course of action you, as a Christian, should take. It is just going to happen that unbelievers are going to be offended by your life, if you live for God. It is an affront to them, as they see it as a condemnation of themselves, which is not something you generate...but something that God generates.

So let the Lord use you in the ministry of conviction of unbelievers, and you will see that these kinds of things have a habit of working themselves out.

Just as an example, I had to talk my brother into allowing us to remove his son from public school and entering him into a Private Christian School (both I and my wife work so we did not really have the advantage of home-schooling). At that time my brother was nominal in his beliefs, and when he did go to "church," it was a Catholic Church, and his reason for going there was because...we are Irish, lol.

The end result at this point is this: he is now a member of the Baptist Church which his kids (yes plural, because all three ended up going) were students of the Christian Academy of (and this is my fellowship as well). Forgotten were the arguments he presented as reasons why he didn't want his kid going to a Christian School.

So hang in there. You do what you do for the right reasons, maintaining your convictions. This will have impact on believers, and sometimes, even though that impact seems negative on the surface, we just don't know what is going on underneath.


God bless.

Amen thank you so much for your input!!

 

[corndogggy]

wicked movies

Curious as to what this includes.

 

[Darrell C]

Curious as to what this includes.

Hope it doesn't include Star Wars...

*ducks*

God bless.

 

[chelle318]

I have the same problem with some family members. Unfortunately, I let it bother me more than I should. I was not saved when I came into this family, so now they all think I'm a religious nut. But I don't care . My kids sure jump at the chance to correct someone using the Lord's name in vain or acting inappropriately, which makes it easier for me since I don't have to do it lol. But sometimes they'll get frustrated with my kids and I have to step in, which can cause problems but my kids will not be persecuted for their faith under my roof. Like I said, it can be difficult but I just have to let God guide my words and of course I pray about it.

 

[jbbarn]

I had to put up with a lot of interference like this when I was raising my 5 children. My in-laws were well-meaning, but very very opinionated about everything they thought we were doing wrong. They were upset and critical when I told them I would be home-schooling. They were shocked and appalled when I decided not to let my toddlers watch the end of "Fantasia," because of the part about Bald Mountain (That creature looked so demonic)! I always just smiled and said, I have to steward my kids the way God wants me to. I never let it get to me much, because I knew the power I was answering to was much higher than my in-laws.

 

[BrandonA]

My mother's entire side of the family is unbelieving, and sometimes I face the same dilemmas. I personally would place the sanctity of your home and your children over the impulses of your in-laws. Keep in mind that you're giving foul spirits some access to your home and lives by allowing that junk around them. I know it's a tough a choice. I've prayed real quick that he'll give you tact and salt to season your words.