Wedding Vows, should we disregard them if our spouse is unaware?

[Rachel]

Terri Shiavo's last years has made me wonder about a few things....

If our spouse is unaware or disabled in some way, bedridden, has brain damage, etc., is that the end of our wedding vows 'in sickness and in health, till death do us part'??
I've seen several Christian's say 'well she has been dead really for years so there is nothing wrong with Michael getting on with his life'. To me those vows mean you stick by your spouse in love no matter what, till they die physically and are buried. To me it doesn't matter if y'all get married at 20 and the next day something terrible happens, and your spouse lives another 50 years in that state. Is it alright with God for us to abandon them? If you find someone else, God doesn't consider that adultery?

I'm very curious of what others here think about this.

Rachel

 

[Monergist]

Rachel,

In God's eyes, a husband has covenant responsibilties to his wife which include providing for and protecting her until death (either his or hers). It doesn't matter if she is sick, disabled, etc., his responsibilities remain. Of course, we have all but forgotten this; just look at our divorce rate.

Yes, when he leaves her to fornicate with another, it is adultery. When he doesn't make every effort to provide her with the care she needs, it is desertion; he has abdicated his God-given role. When he seeks to end her life and therefore end his covenant responsibility to her; it is murder.

 

[violet]

<sarcasm>
Yeah, in sickness and in health, till death us do part... unless I can find a better situation. Then you're on your own.

... as long as we both shall live (edit to say that by "live" I mean, healthfully, wealthy lives. If we are living with illness or poverty, then we aren't really "living" so I feel that I am exempt from fulfilling the vow I am making now.)

</sarcasm>

 

[Rachel]

Originally posted by violet:
<sarcasm>
Yeah, in sickness and in health, till death us do part... unless I can find a better situation. Then you're on your own.

... as long as we both shall live (edit to say that by "live" I mean, healthfully, wealthy lives. If we are living with illness or poverty, then we aren't really "living" so I feel that I am exempt from fulfilling the vow I am making now.)

</sarcasm>

Yep, that's the way it seemed to me, but shocking to hear Christian's that mean this.

 

[Joseph_Botwinick]

It really isn't that shocking when you think about what many in the Word of Faith movement are teaching these days.

Joseph Botwinick

 

[just-want-peace]

Rachel sez:

Yep, that's the way it seemed to me, but shocking to hear Christian's that mean this.

I've noticed on this BB, not all who name the name of Christ seem to follow Christ in their views!

 

[El_Guero]

Rachel

I am more conservative than most, but to me God is the Creator of the marriage covenant ... and it is permanent ...

 

[D28guy]

Joseph,

Regarding the "easy divorce" mentality today, you said...

"It really isn't that shocking when you think about what many in the Word of Faith movement are teaching these days."

What in the world does the WOF movement have to do with this?

Mike

 

[Joseph_Botwinick]

Mike,

I was referring to the false teachings of the health and wealth, name it and claim it wing of the Word of Faith Movement. It seems to me that folks have also transfered that mentality to their commitments. If things are not going well, and I am not having my hearts desire, I can justify dumping the commitment.

Perhaps, I was a bit off there. What do you think?

Joseph Botwinick

 

[D28guy]

Joseph,

"I was referring to the false teachings of the health and wealth, name it and claim it wing of the Word of Faith Movement. It seems to me that folks have also transfered that mentality to their commitments. If things are not going well, and I am not having my hearts desire, I can justify dumping the commitment.

Perhaps, I was a bit off there. What do you think?"

Certainly the more extreme and excessive teachings of WOF..."God wants me in a Mercedes", "God wants me dripping in wealth", "I can speak it, and *presto* it will come to pass", etc...is problematic and dangerous.

But my experience with WOFers, and I know many people who are, doesnt seem to betray any excessive divorce rate. Those who are extreme as I've described here are in error of course, but they generally seem to be happily married while in error.

Thats not to say they never divorce, but it seems to be no more prevalent than the evangelicals or non-WOF charismatics.

God bless,

Mike

 

[Cavsfan2005]

Marriage is permanent...until DEATH do you part. And that's that. I don't see any way to cop out of it.

 

[billwald]

"A deal is a deal."

 

[FLMike]

If we abandon those with whom we have entered a convenant, how can we expect God to honor His convenant with us? After all, in His eyes we are all Terri Schiavos, both beloved and also wounded.

Her parents and family understood and honored their family covenant with her. Her husband, well, he's another kettle of fish, and that fish has been in the sun too long...

 

[av1611jim]

"By now he stinketh..."

In HIS service;
Jim

 

[El_Guero]

FLMike,

If we abandon those with whom we have entered a convenant, how can we expect God to honor His convenant with us?

Covenants are one way. They are not contractual.

God will honor His covenant, because He is God and He made that covenant.

 

[El_Guero]

Rachel,

The other question that should be asked is, "When should we allow medicine to leave someone a vegetable?"

I do believe that vows are vows, and I would not treat a dog the way we treat our spouses today. But, I would not treat a dog the way we treat our sick today.

 

[Rachel]

Originally posted by El_Guero:
Rachel,

The other question that should be asked is, "When should we allow medicine to leave someone a vegetable?"

----from Rachel-- That's been covered in other threads. Food is not medicine by any means, to me. Regardless if Terri could understand anything or not, no one should be starved to death. Breathing machines or something like that is a whole different story.----

I do believe that vows are vows, and I would not treat a dog the way we treat our spouses today. But, I would not treat a dog the way we treat our sick today.

Exactly right. What really concerns me is how Christian's think about these issues, and act on them. Why don't Christian's act like we have Christ in us? That's probably the question of the century...And the 'moral' unbeliever's are not so 'moral' any more. If you know what I mean. Very sad anyway you look at it.

Rachel

 

[El_Guero]

I think so.