Wedding Vows

[Salty]

Wedding vows often include " "love him, comfort him, honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health."
As you can see - the word "Obey" is not listed above

As a pastor - would you marry a couple if the bride refused to include the word "obey" in her vows?
(if you are not a pastor - would you do so if you were a pastor - or what would you want your pastor to do)

Open for discussion
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DISCLAIMER - THIS IS NOT a C vs A discussion

 

[Bible Thumpin n Gun Totin]

I know a Pastor who will refuse to marry a couple unless the wife includes "obey" in the vows.

I'd be interested to know how old your source is for marriage vows. Marriage vows for centuries have included "obey". It's only in the last century, with an increase in Feminism where that has been omitted to placate loud, rebellious women often of the pink hair variety.

For example wedding vows in the Book of Common prayer used by the Anglican Church has some of the earliest Christian wedding vows going back to the 1500s go as follows:

Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

 

[Salty]

What got me on this thread - I read an article about Princess Diana (sp?) who refused to include the word "obey" as did her two daughter in-laws

 

[Bible Thumpin n Gun Totin]

What got me on this thread - I read an article about Princess Diana (sp?) who refused to include the word "obey" as did her two daughter in-laws

I suppose she could've tried to make a case saying that as potential Regent of a country she can't be given to obeying her husband on certain matters. That'd be a hard case to make IMO, but perhaps that's where she was coming from?

Either than, or she was just a plain Feminist.

 

[Scarlett O.]

Vows aren't even necessary to BE married. All you need is a signed license.

Good grief!!!

 

[Bible Thumpin n Gun Totin]

Vows aren't even necessary to BE married. All you need is a signed license.

Sure, if you want a civil marriage and you don't think that God deserves honor, and if you believe that marriage is a non-weighty, trivial thing then it certainly can be nothing more than a signed license. You can also be a Christian bound for Heaven and the New Earth and yet never be baptized, but you'll sure be a sorry example of a Christian.

Christians have had marriage vows for hundreds of years precisely because:
1. The vows are made to the other spouse AND the vows are made before God in the vein of Ecclesiastes 5:4-6 AND the vows are made before others as an external showing of the Bride and Groom's faith and submission to God.
2. The vows are a binding covenant for all of life between two people and God.

Modern culture thinks marriage is all about the bride and groom. It's not. The marriage ceremony and vows is about God first and foremost and the mutual submission of both the bridge and groom to God who created the Institution of the Family. Quite fitting that a culture that values marriage so little has allowed the Supreme Court to call two men engaging in sin a "marriage".

 

[Scarlett O.]

I've played the piano at hundreds of weddings for over 45 years.

I've seen it all. White gown, "obey" vows, "cherish" vows, the groom asks the bride if she "waited" for him and him not having to answer that question, ALL the tradition you can think of.....

.....and none of that guarantees a Godly and Biblical marriage. None of it.

All the hoopla is just a manmade tradition. A Godly man and Godly woman can humbly meet God with a pastor or justice of the peace and quietly and with their OWN vows to each other and God and get married and the marriage last and God be honored in that marriage.

To each his or her own. There is no Biblical standard of wedding vows, wedding attire [except for decently dressed], wedding cakes, wedding songs, etc......

 

[Salty]

Vows aren't even necessary to BE married. All you need is a signed license.

Good grief!!!

True - but when I preform a wedding ceremony - I would never do that.
I got thinking about all this - and I am looking at - in the vows -
"obey in the Lord" (or something similar) for the wife
"Treat my wife as unto the Lord" (or something similar) for the husband

and from post # 7 Scarlet is correct - a lot of a wedding is tradition
and those things she listed - can in years be a very special thing to remember.

One thing I did - (and something I ask the groom to do ) - just before the pastor was to pronounce us man and wive - I whispers something to Miss Salty - something I will never tell anyone - it was just between her and me. - I will say that it was something that was very positive- and made her very happy."

But one thing I refuse to do is to marry a couple who have NOT had several counseling sessions.
NO exceptions.

 

[Salty]

I've played the piano at hundreds of weddings for over 45 years......

Wow - you know we could use a pianist at our church, here in beautiful Central New York!

 

[Bible Thumpin n Gun Totin]

I've played the piano at hundreds of weddings for over 45 years.

I've seen it all. White gown, "obey" vows, "cherish" vows, the groom asks the bride if she "waited" for him and him not having to answer that question, ALL the tradition you can think of.....

Sounds like you've seen a mixture of Christian and Non-Christian weddings then.

.....and none of that guarantees a Godly and Biblical marriage. None of it.

No guarantees, but vowing before God and other people and your spouse makes it a Covenant. Which does indeed help a Godly and Biblical marriage.

A Godly man and Godly woman can humbly meet God with a pastor or justice of the peace and quietly and with their OWN vows to each other and God and get married and the marriage last and God be honored in that marriage.

Yes, a Godly man and a Godly woman can get married that way and God is honored to some degree just like a Christian can be Saved and refuse to be Baptized. Is it possible? Yes. Is it good? No.

To each his or her own.

To each, God's Word. Not their own preferences. A marriage is not about the groom and the bride at all.

There is no Biblical standard of wedding vows

There is indeed. The Bible tells the husband to love and lead his wife as Christ loves and leads the Church.
The Bible tells the wife to respect, obey, and be a keeper of the home. Clear, indisputable Biblical standards for marriage.

The MARRIAGE vows need to encompass God's ordained-from-the-foundation-of-the-earth MARRIAGE roles

, wedding attire [except for decently dressed], wedding cakes, wedding songs, etc......

Wedding attire, wedding cakes and wedding songs all need to bring honor to God. There's countless Biblical standards for each of them.