What about polygamy? Does God FORBID it?

[AresMan]

Whether it is "acceptible" or not should not motivate one to want to change the law or have the desire to actually be a polygamist. I personally (as still a single virgin) feel that women (being just as worthy to God as men) are worth much more than as a form of property and should not have to share a man's heart. When I am married, I want the one woman to have 100% of my heart. Just my humble, personal, totally unbiased opinion.

 

[Brother Bob]

how old are you 60?

 

[Bible-boy]

Originally posted by rjprince:
This came up on the "Does God ever allow divorce?" thread.

OK. Here is the question...

A missionary leads a man to the Lord Jesus in a foreign culture where polygamy is standard practice. What does he tell the man to do with his other wives? I heard of one such instance where a man got saved and the missionary was relpused upon learning that the man had 5 wives. He explained that this was contrary to Scripture and that God's pattern was one man, one woman, for one lifetime. Next week the man showed up for services with only one wife. The missionary asked, "Where are your other wives?". The man replied, "Teacher you told me it was wrong to have more than one wife. I killed the other four..."

I heard this some years ago AS a true story. I cannot vouch for its authenticity as I do not even remember who told it. Pretty sure it was at a large missions conference in Chattanooga in the late 70's, though.

I had a Missions Professor tell a similar story here at SEBTS. However, I do not remember if the man in the story killed the other wives or just kicked them out on their own. Either way it is a bad situation. I guess the best thing to do in such a case would be for the man to live only with his first wife and yet still be responsible to financially support the others.

 

[AresMan]

Originally posted by Brother Bob:
how old are you 60?

Heh, I will turn 26 this month. If you have perceived me on this forum as 60 (as in "wise"), I guess I am flattered.

 

[rjprince]

Originally posted by Bible-boy:
...I guess the best thing to do in such a case would be for the man to live only with his first wife and yet still be responsible to financially support the others.

Not emotionally support? What about children he may have fathered with multiple women? Just send them off with their mothers?

If God tolerated it in Bible times, and IF a missionary is working in a culture where it is accepted, WHY demand that the wives after the first leave the home? On what BIBLICAL basis could you justify his practical divorce of the later wives, in a culture where multiple wives were accepted and legal?

God forbade the unfair treatment of a firstborn son if the favorite wife bore other sons later. God regulated the situation. He did not forbid it. I fully acknowledge that from the beginning it was not so, but God did tolerate the situation. In cultures where it is common practice, what is our BIBLICAL basis for demanding that it stop?

If Elkanah had sent away the wife that had bore him no children, we never would have had Samuel... How about that... Samuel, the child or a polygamous relationship. If the marriage was illicit as Gina suggested, then Samuel would have been illegitimate. On the contrary, Samuel was God’s answer to Hannah’s prayer. Yet we clearly see that there were problems between Peninnah and Hannah.

I am not advocating polygamy, I am only suggesting that we rightly divide the Word in discussing the matter...

 

[Hope of Glory]

Anytime people had multiple wives in the bible, it was a bad thing and resulted in trouble.

Well, that goes without saying; most of us have enough trouble with just one...

But, seriously, polygamy is never condoned in the Bible, but polygyny seems to be.

Also, AFAIK, in the Bible, it's only called adultery when a man has sex with a married woman, not the other way around.

 

[donnA]

Originally posted by menageriekeeper:
Donna, I think that's how we think of it now. But nowhere is David accused of adultry for marrying more than one (or even for having concubines) except for the occasion of Bathsheba.

Solomon had even more women than his daddy and yet wasn't accused of adultry. His problem was that he didn't make them convert!

Where does the bible give us permission for multiply spouses? Who in the N.T. had more then one wife and was approved of it, or who in the N.T. taught more then one wife was ok? From what I've seen in the bible it is adultery to have sex with more then one person when your married, otherwise no rules about adultery or fornication are necessary. When God created marriage He created one man with one wife. Thats the model.

 

[pinoybaptist]

by Hope of Glory:

But, seriously, polygamy is never condoned in the Bible, but polygyny seems to be.

There you go.
I think you're right here.
The man in OT times is allowed multiple wives, but not the wife.
Polygamy, on the other hand, according to dictionary.com is "marriage in which a spouse of either sex may have more than one mate at the same time".
Rather confusing, wot ?
Also, I have not seen in the Bible where the woman may divorce a man. It seems the right of divorcing a spouse is only for the man.
But, back to polygamy, polygyny.

 

[pinoybaptist]

 

[pinoybaptist]

by Hope of Glory:
But, seriously, polygamy is never condoned in the Bible, but polygyny seems to be.

There you go.
I think you're right here.
The man in OT times is allowed multiple wives, but the wife is not allowed multiple husbands (polyandry).
Polygamy, on the other hand, according to dictionary.com is "marriage in which a spouse of either sex may have more than one mate at the same time".
Rather confusing, wot ?
Also, I have not seen in the Bible where the woman may divorce a man. It seems the right of divorcing a spouse is only for the man.
But, back to polygamy, polygyny.

 

[pinoybaptist]

triple post...

 

[menageriekeeper]

Now DonnA, you know many things aren't specifically allowed in the Bible, but we still do them. We have to discern things sometimes by comparing similar events.

Btw, no one is proposing that we bring back polygamy today. The question simply was, did God allow it and how should we handle the few situations that do occur even today among the unsaved.

We agree, the model is one man to one woman. Unfortunately, sometimes that model isn't payed much attention to and then we have to deal with the consequences.

 

[Petrel]

Originally posted by rbell:
Polygamy is inexorably linked to the value of women in a particular culture. In a culture where women are property, or close to it...polygamy is a sign of wealth for the man, and derivations of polygamy (marrying the dead brother's widow) in some ways protected the woman, who when her husband died was utterly destitute.

Agree, it's also related to the level of class division in a culture. When there is a great divide between the rich and the poor, polygyny is more likely. In more egalitarian nations monogamy is more frequent. In an economic sense women are partitioned up like any other resource. When men have roughly the same amount of resources, everyone gets one woman, and when some people are flabbergastingly rich and others dirt poor, the rich get several women while the poor do without.

Right now we seem to have a situation in between, in which the rich have only one wife, but they are prone to serial monogamy. It is also no longer limited to men using economic power to get partners since women now have an equal role instead of being subordinate to men.

Because of the past great inequity in relationships between men and women polygyny flourished but polyandry was almost unheard of. Polygyny is also a stupid reproductive tactic since a woman may have three husbands but can only be pregnant from one at a time, while a man with three wives can produce children by each of them.

Christianity is also more inclined to be tolerant of polygyny because it allows the authoritarian model to remain intact, so the husband can have control over multiple wives, but who can be in charge if there are multiple husbands of one wife?

I think for these reasons we consider polygyny as more acceptable but polyandry is almost universally thought to be very odd.

 

[rjprince]

Originally posted by petrel:
Christianity is also more inclined to be tolerant of polygyny because it allows the authoritarian model to remain intact, so the husband can have control over multiple wives, but who can be in charge if there are multiple husbands of one wife?

I think for these reasons we consider polygyny as more acceptable but polyandry is almost universally thought to be very odd.

Not sure it is accurate to say that Christianity is inclined to be tolerant of polygyny. Judaism certainly was more so in earlier times, but I see little evidence where Christians are tolerant towards it. Yet, the authoritarian model is an interesting twist to the discussion.

I think the REASON we see more polygyny throughout history than polyandry relates more to the fact that men are better able to compartmentalize relationships. I find it to be true (NOT RIGHT OR OK!) than men are more able to have continuing affairs than women. Women do not seem be as capable of loving more than one man at a time as men are of loving more than one woman at a time.

NOTE: Some men have affairs, yet strongly maintain that they do indeed still love their wives. This is a very warped concept of love, but it is an observable phenomenon none-the-less.

ALSO PLEASE NOTE: I DO NOT APPROVE, CONDONE, OR EVEN TOLERATE THIS, BUT I HAVE SEEN IT TO BE TRUE IN REAL LIFE, though certainly more so among unbelievers. Believers have the indwelling Spirit t convict them and so do not seem to able to carry on with an affair for as long a time without guilt. Then there are those who only go to church and claim the name “Christian”. These are no different from acknowledged unbelievers. If they were indeed believers, they could expect the chastening of the Lord for their open sin.

 

[Gina B]

I'm waiting for the guy/girl who's going to bust in here with the nerve to say they think polygamy is perfectly fine, and they have no problem with it. Everyone got their pitch-forks ready?

I know that on a board with this many people, there has to be a few.

 

[rjprince]

Originally posted by Gina L:
I'm waiting for the guy/girl who's going to bust in here with the nerve to say they think polygamy is perfectly fine, and they have no problem with it. Everyone got their pitch-forks ready?

I know that on a board with this many people, there has to be a few.

Personally, that would be a REAL shock!

Jesus repeated the original creation pattern in

Matt 19:4-6 – ...Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5/ And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6/ Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

How anyone can argue FOR polygamy/plygyny on the basis of OT concessions to a practice that God may have TOLERATED and even REGULATED is beyond my grasp. There are numerous things in the OT that God “suffered” that He NEVER APPROVED! Just because He tolerated it, does not indicate that he APPROVED the practice!

But, Gina, you may be right. I have my fork in hand... It is lunchtime in Georgia, or as we say in the south, DINNER!

 

[webdog]

I know it's a sin in the USA, as it would violate government law. In a foreign country that supports it? That's a tough one.

 

[Magnetic Poles]

Does God condemn polygamy? I'll have to ask my wives.

 

[ccrobinson]

The real curse of polygamy is not multiple wives, but multiple mothers-in-law.

 

[rbell]

If you feel God is OK with polygamy, since it's not universally Biblically prohibited...

...you're gonna be REALLY unpopular on your views of slavery.

Not hijacking...just pointing out that consistent views on these things might get some in trouble.

I still stand by my idea that the pastoral requirements are God's "higher standards." And if God raises the bar there, that must be His ideal. Sure, "husband of one wife" refers to morality...but it's simplest definition is "husband of less than two wives." I think both definitions can apply.