What action should be taken?

[Salty]

I am watching an episode of "Amen" at the moment (Staring Sherman Hemsley)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0511233/ ( 1 Nov 86)

Lynette (Nadia DeLeye) a church choir member is a unwed pregnant Teenager.
The pastor asks her to leave the choir in her current condition
The ladies of the church have baby shower for her.

After delivery - the father shows up and Deacon Fry lays into him that he now
has responsibilities.


1) Would you as a pastor (or church leader) ask her to leave the choir or or other leadership positions?
2) what other action - if any would you take/request of this new mother?
3) Do you support what the deacon said to the father?
4) How should the church deal with the father (unclear if he is a church member or not)

5) other thoughts?

 

[KenH]

Being neither a pastor or a church leader, I think the young lady should not be in the choir.

When I was in the Church of Christ, a lady who I supervised in my accounting department, who was a member of the congregation and whose husband was an elder in the congregation, came to me one morning at work and told me, crying and very upset, that her teenage daughter was pregnant and that her husband would step down as an elder(which he did). It was quite a traumatic experience for all. This was about 30 years ago. I don't remember all of the other details as to who the father was or if they got married.

 

[canadyjd]

I am watching an episode of "Amen" at the moment (Staring Sherman Hemsley)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0511233/ ( 1 Nov 86)

Lynette (Nadia DeLeye) a church choir member is a unwed pregnant Teenager.
The pastor asks her to leave the choir in her current condition
The ladies of the church have baby shower for her.

After delivery - the father shows up and Deacon Fry lays into him that he now
has responsibilities.


1) Would you as a pastor (or church leader) ask her to leave the choir or or other leadership positions?
2) what other action - if any would you take/request of this new mother?
3) Do you support what the deacon said to the father?
4) How should the church deal with the father (unclear if he is a church member or not)

5) other thoughts?

I don’t see singing in the choir to be a leadership position. I would have no problem with her in the choir or with the baby shower.

I would have counseled her to have medical and other pre-natal care, pointing her to various agencies or groups that provide the care or other information, as well as maintain her studies in school.

I would commit to praying for her and the baby’s health and encourage others to do so.

I would encourage the father to take responsibility for his family.

peace to you

 

[Salty]

I would encourage the father to take responsibility for his family.

and if she did not come from a Christian family

 

[JonC]

I think much depends on the girl.

As a congregation how do we address sin vs the repentant sinner?

If the girl is repentant from past mistakes then she could be a positive example to others. If she is not, then there is an issue deeper than unwed pregnancy.

 

[canadyjd]

and if she did not come from a Christian family

Not sure what coming from a Christian family or not has to do with taking responsibility for his family. Please explain the question?

peace to you

 

[Marooncat79]

If she is repentant, there should be no issue if she wants to sing

we believe in grace and forgiveness right?

 

[Salty]

Not sure what coming from a Christian family or not has to do with taking responsibility for his family. Please explain the question?

Because a non-Christian father may not see a problem with an unwed mother
Does that help????

 

[canadyjd]

Because a non-Christian father may not see a problem with an unwed mother
Does that help????

There should always be a proclamation of the gospel in churches. Since this incident is occurring the the context of church life, I surmised all involved have heard the gospel.

If the issue is church discipline, those involved should be members already.

peace to you

 

[Deacon]

Wonderful that the Choir members hosted a baby shower for the mother.
I’d consider discipling Deacon Fry on the other hand.
The father obviously feels that if his partner considers going to church is something important, then perhaps so should he.
At the very least unwed father coming to church is a grand opportunity to share the gospel.

Rob

 

[Reynolds]

I am watching an episode of "Amen" at the moment (Staring Sherman Hemsley)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0511233/ ( 1 Nov 86)

Lynette (Nadia DeLeye) a church choir member is a unwed pregnant Teenager.
The pastor asks her to leave the choir in her current condition
The ladies of the church have baby shower for her.

After delivery - the father shows up and Deacon Fry lays into him that he now
has responsibilities.


1) Would you as a pastor (or church leader) ask her to leave the choir or or other leadership positions?
2) what other action - if any would you take/request of this new mother?
3) Do you support what the deacon said to the father?
4) How should the church deal with the father (unclear if he is a church member or not)

5) other thoughts?

Paul dealt with church discipline for a reason. A preacher who will preach about sin but will not invoke church discipline, is a hypocrite of the highest degree.

 

[Two Wings]

hmm. church discipline.

There's a rare bird. Most of our congregations are so afraid of repelling we just punt. Kinda the same sort of thing in child discipline. FAR too many parents in the last 50 years have opted to be friends LONG before it was time to be friends.

No need to be hateful ... in fact that's not discipline at all, but response to personal offense. However, there are behaviors outlined for those who represent. Certainly being a choir member doesn't place one in a position to outline the particulars of Calvinists/Armenians (???) ... but they DO represent the Body's best in offering praise to God.

In lieu of the Pastor, I'd volunteer to be the one to share with her ... with my wife present, of course ... what it means to be in the choir serving God. it's not just practice for Nashville debut.

That doesn't mean there's no returning, but the standard either exists or it doesn't.

AFA the baby daddy ... Need to get acquainted with him and know more about his standing. I've assumed a personally known/spiritually known standing for the girl since she's already in the choir. Dude prob needs to know Jesus Christ personally and that's priority number one ... then once a member of the Body himself, discipline so he can grow in his new relationship with The Master and become a disciple himself.

 

[canadyjd]

Paul dealt with church discipline for a reason. A preacher who will preach about sin but will not income church discipline, is a hypocrite of the highest degree.

Jesus, and Paul, preached forgiveness and restoration for a reason.

A person quick to cast judgment on others, demanding punishment is forgetting their own sin: past and present, and is a hypocrite of the highest order.

What’s the purpose of church discipline? Isn’t it to restore the Christian to a right relationship with God? The girl is in church seeking fellowship. Why throw a stumbling block in front of her?

Church discipline isn’t to “punish” or shame anyone. You publicly shame the girl by putting her out of the choir or refusing a baby shower.

That alienates her from a circle of Christian fellowship that will be crucial in her life.

peace to you

 

[Reynolds]

Wonderful that the Choir members hosted a baby shower for the mother.
I’d consider discipling Deacon Fry on the other hand.
The father obviously feels that if his partner considers going to church is something important, then perhaps so should he.
At the very least unwed father coming to church is a grand opportunity to share the gospel.

Rob

Sounds good, but just so happens to go against Paul's commands for church discipline.

 

[Marooncat79]

Sorry, I am unsure what you are saying there

what part goes against Paul

 

[agedman]

How can the person be considered unwed?

From the posts, it seems apparent that they consummated some type of vow between them, therefore they are joined as one. “Two have become one flesh”. (My paraphrased effort).

What should the church do? Listen to the young member, seek restoration and support, yet publishing this is not the best way in our times to expect a total lack of rebuke, but it is nothing extraordinary, either.

We were at one time a nation of circuit riding preachers. Not often, but there were occasions when, as Paul mention, two could not contain themselves. So folks got publicly married after consummation by the circuit riding preacher.

Get the two together, have a public ceremony celebrating the Union and the fruit of it, and get on to more important things.