Brother Bob
New Member
Every once in a while it all is worth while.
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What if you're a christian and still don't like people?
- Thread starter xdisciplex
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xdisciplex
New Member
Somehow not too many people here seem to be able to identify with my problems. 
Prozac and witnessing to people is most likely not the solution. Well, maybe prozac would help who knows. But I cannot witness to everybody who I don't like. How do you imagine this? Shall I go around and harass people with Jesus like a religious nut? They would think I'm nuts and react negatively and then I would dislike them even more. Simply trying to witness to everybody won't work. I wouldn't simply witness for the sake of it because it's senseless. Most people are not seeking at all. And besides this how do you imagine this? Shall I go around at my university talking about Jesus to everybody I don't like? Within a few days I would be known as the crazy christian. This would definitely help me...
Prozac and witnessing to people is most likely not the solution. Well, maybe prozac would help who knows. But I cannot witness to everybody who I don't like. How do you imagine this? Shall I go around and harass people with Jesus like a religious nut? They would think I'm nuts and react negatively and then I would dislike them even more. Simply trying to witness to everybody won't work. I wouldn't simply witness for the sake of it because it's senseless. Most people are not seeking at all. And besides this how do you imagine this? Shall I go around at my university talking about Jesus to everybody I don't like? Within a few days I would be known as the crazy christian. This would definitely help me...
X, I would like to apologize to you for my lousy attitude the last time I posted on one of your questions. I would still like to converse with you and hope you will forgive me. I am truly sorry.
I have some thoughts on this subject of not liking people if you still want to hear from me.:saint:
Amy
I have some thoughts on this subject of not liking people if you still want to hear from me.:saint:
Amy
Hard to believe, but most people are not shy and most people have never been seriously depressed. I don't think they really can understand what it means.xdisciplex said:Somehow not too many people here seem to be able to identify with my problems.
It actually might help; if not prozac, then one of the other ones (one size does not fit all). Cognitve behavior therapy is supposed to be one of the better therapies (training yourself to be aware of how your thoughts and behavior affect your moods and how you can change it) - more practical than most.xdx said:
Uh, yeah, well, at least you have the good sense to see this. :laugh:xdx said:
One thing I highly recommend is that you develop a sunny, pleasant expression and tone of voice - when people think you're cheerful, they treat you sooo much better which, in turn, makes you feel better about them. It may feel crazy at first, the disconnect between how you feel and how you appear, but it's a trick worth learning. The odd thing is that it can actually make you feel more pleasant and cheerful.
Good luck and God bless.
dispen4ever
New Member
xdx, I agree that these forums are not the best place to come for advice. If you aren't involved in a fellowship of Christians anywhere, then I guess this is all you've got. You've received lots of good advice, survived ridicule, and you've received some awful advice. The only way you can sort it all out is by going to scripture. I see that you can cut and paste it rather well, but I'm afraid that your interpretation is a little shaky. Don't give up, though. Talk to someone in person. That will be a good step forward.
:jesus:
:jesus:
Extroverts already do the things I recommend - my advice is intended for introverts, especially those who are unusually sensitive to negative stimuli.ehaase said:
I found that I have an unfortunate tendency to scowl. When I spoke to people, they assumed I was scowling at them so they would be harsh towards me which hurt my feelings. Slightly raised eyebrows and a half smile gets a better response, but, as I said, it feels weird at first. It takes practice. Also people find a monotone off-putting, so faking cheer helps. These are things introverts can do even though it may not come naturally.
Last edited by a moderator:
David Michael Harris
Active Member
xdisciplex said:In the past I disliked most of the people around me. They didn't like me and I didn't like them. I guess somehow it's also a protection mechanism. For some reason I'm not very popular with people. They don't like me and as a result I didn't like them either. When I became a christian I was finished with school and hadn't started studying yet. This means I had a distance to everything and now where I didn't have to see all these people anymore I also didn't dislike them anymore. And when I started studying I also didn't have anything against the new people. Back then I thought that becoming a christian had somehow changed me and made me become more friendly but now I realize that it didn't. The only difference was that I was more relaxed because the I had nothing to do with the new people at the university. They were strangers to me. I just saw them but didn't have anything to do with them and because of this I also didn't have negative feelings towards them. But now the same thing starts again. For some reason the few people which I study with and which I always used to talk to and have a pretty good relationship suddenly behave pretty strange. I didn't do anything to them they simply behave strange as if they're not "interested" in me anymore and this angers me. It's always like this. When you know somebody and then this person finds somebody who this person thinks is more cooler then this person will simply focus more on the "cooler" person because being seen with a "cool" person also enhances the own social reputation. This is how it works in the world.
But this isn't even the problem of this thread. The problem is that I am once again getting the very same negative feelings like I did in the past. There is no difference at all. I still get the very same "I'm alone and the whole world is against me" feeling which I had before I was a christian and this feeling makes me hate or at least dislike the others around me.
What do I do now? What if I simply cannot stop feeling this way? I thought that being a christian had changed this but obviously it hasn't.
Does this mean that maybe I'm not even a christian and only thought that I had changed but the truth is I'm still the same?
The thing is if I could simply walk away and never see these people then they also wouldn't upset me anymore and I would have peace. It's easy to have peace when you don't see a person. But once you see this person again all the emotions come up again. You may think that you don't dislike a person anymore as long as you don't see it but once you see it again then you realize that all the negative feelings are still there...
For example a few days ago I went to the homepage of my old school and a few people which I knew back from school had left their names and pictures there and when I saw these pictures of the people which I already didn't like back then I got the same negative feelings again. Nothing has changed at all. I still don't like them and seeing those pictures somehow upset me.
Think of Lot. And how his soul was troubled.
I find it difficult too. Even Christians are hard to put up with but we must love one another.
David
tragic_pizza
New Member
Daisy gives good advice. It should not be ignored.
Hey, X,
I can dig it.
About five years ago, I lobbied God to have misanthropy (means you don't like people) made one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He said no, so I tried to bargain Him down to curmudgeonry (means you're a cranky old man). He still said no.
The truth is, I'd rather spend time with a good dog than most people I know so I was a little upset by His veto.
I'm going to try to slip it in as a rider in one of my future prayers.
Anyway, we're called to show love to people, not to like them.
That's actually easier than liking them.
My best advice is to start praying for them. If you don't love them when you start to pray for them, as you pray for them, the Holy Spirit will move on your heart to teach you how to love them.
I can dig it.
About five years ago, I lobbied God to have misanthropy (means you don't like people) made one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He said no, so I tried to bargain Him down to curmudgeonry (means you're a cranky old man). He still said no.
The truth is, I'd rather spend time with a good dog than most people I know so I was a little upset by His veto.
I'm going to try to slip it in as a rider in one of my future prayers.
Anyway, we're called to show love to people, not to like them.
That's actually easier than liking them.
My best advice is to start praying for them. If you don't love them when you start to pray for them, as you pray for them, the Holy Spirit will move on your heart to teach you how to love them.
We are in a dark time. Frightfully close to the end times. A lot of people are possessed of demons in my opinion and can't or aren't willing to do anything about it. That is why they are so terribly difficult to get along with. It may not be you, but it most assuredly is them however.
These "FEELINGS" as you stated are the works of the flesh, the old man, or carnal nature. I strongly suggest Repentance ! Galatians 5:16- Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
Read the WHOLE book of Galatians, Pray and Fast !! Seek God with all of your heart. Please try and understand this: Your feelings and your emotions belong to you, as long as you keep blamming others for your non-repentant attitude, you'll always be mad and misserable. We can't help what others do to us, but we need to bring all our carnal, sinful thoughts to God as soon as possible.
Salvation means Deliverance from our present sinful state. This is a continuous process..... God is still working on us !! Also the Bible says in 1 John 4:20- If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? Many of us come to God with more baggage than others, but God is able.....
Pray and ask Him for this love that will even make you love your enemies.(Obey Acts 2:38) Seek God for something real.
God Bless You In Jesus Name David
Read the WHOLE book of Galatians, Pray and Fast !! Seek God with all of your heart. Please try and understand this: Your feelings and your emotions belong to you, as long as you keep blamming others for your non-repentant attitude, you'll always be mad and misserable. We can't help what others do to us, but we need to bring all our carnal, sinful thoughts to God as soon as possible.
Salvation means Deliverance from our present sinful state. This is a continuous process..... God is still working on us !! Also the Bible says in 1 John 4:20- If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? Many of us come to God with more baggage than others, but God is able.....
Pray and ask Him for this love that will even make you love your enemies.(Obey Acts 2:38) Seek God for something real.
God Bless You In Jesus Name David
xdisciplex
New Member
Maybe I have an aversion against people because they somehow scare me or because I feel threatened by them. If I lived on a lone island then liking people would be easy. I wouldn't have to deal with them and I would be at peace. But when I feel like somebody is a threat to me then I have these negative feelings towards the person. Later on when this person isn't a threat to me anymore I usually don't have these negative emotions anymore and then I'm neutral.
I don't know how I am supposed to love those people. I mean where is this love supposed to come from? If I don't have much love inside then how can I love them? I think this isn't possible. Maybe first of all God had to give me some love supernaturally.
I don't know how I am supposed to love those people. I mean where is this love supposed to come from? If I don't have much love inside then how can I love them? I think this isn't possible. Maybe first of all God had to give me some love supernaturally.
Brother Bob
New Member
If you lived on an island you probably would get eaten by an aligator. :laugh: :laugh: :wavey:
We don't have to have "lovey" feelings toward someone to "love" them. Love as described in the Bible is an action not a feeling. Here it is:
1 Corinthians
13:4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
13:5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
13:6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
13:8 Love never fails.
You can even "love" your enemies by being kind, patient and considerate. No special feelings required.
tragic_pizza said:
I pretty much agree with tp here.
Now I don't like very many people's religiousness or viewpoints on scripture, but that is a totally different issue than their person. The Lord says to "Love your neighbor" and, believing that, I don't have a problem with feelings of hatred toward them. I have gross disagreements with liberals on here for example, but I'd do what I could if any were in need and I could help, whether true brothers in Christ or not.
One of my friends is an avowed unbeliever, and is a disagreeable fellow to boot. He is an accomplished mechanic and I use his expertise whenever necessary. I've discovered that few of his customers like him, but I've developed a really good friendship with him. Before I was a believer I'd have never gotten past the first meeting. I see God at work all around him, in circumstances and expect a conversion.
xdisciplex
New Member
Today I once again had these negative feelings towards those people which study with me. I think if I didn't know them then I wouldn't have negative feelings but since I know them I have these negative feelings towards them. Maybe it has also something to do with me being sick of studying and these negative feelings combined with the fear of failing is transferred to the people as well. This means when I hate studying then everything repells me, also the people which I have to see there.
I don't understand this. 2.Corinthians says that you're a new creation, the old things are gone. But in my case they are still there. I feel exactly the same way I also felt as a non-christian. How is this possible?
As a non-christian I simply thought that these negative feelings are legitimate because they're like a wall around me which also protects me but these excuses don't help me. God also will not accept them. But it's really true. When you build this wall around you then you feel more protected and less vulnerable.
But the mechanisms which make me dislike the people around me are the same as they have always been. I feel like they don't like me and they don't respect me and as a result I get these negative feelings towards them. This is the problem. If I didn't know them then I could sit there and be totally relaxed but I am simply angry that they avoid me. I had a good relationship to a few of them but all of a sudden they behave strange and avoid me as if I was a leper and this angers me. It makes me really angry. And then I feel like the whole world is against me and I'm all alone once again. I hate this feeling. This makes me feel vulnerable and as a result of this I start building this wall of anger around me. This is how it works. I don't know what to do against this. I mean somehow I am simply attracted by a lot of things which attracted me before I was a christian, these dark things. Before I became a christian I hated a lot of people and I also liked this, this somehow defined me. And somehow it's like these things still attract me. This is why I sometimes ask myself if I was even supposed to be a christian maybe I wasn't even supposed to become a christian because I'm too evil and I cannot really separate myself from it.
I don't understand this. 2.Corinthians says that you're a new creation, the old things are gone. But in my case they are still there. I feel exactly the same way I also felt as a non-christian. How is this possible?
As a non-christian I simply thought that these negative feelings are legitimate because they're like a wall around me which also protects me but these excuses don't help me. God also will not accept them. But it's really true. When you build this wall around you then you feel more protected and less vulnerable.
But the mechanisms which make me dislike the people around me are the same as they have always been. I feel like they don't like me and they don't respect me and as a result I get these negative feelings towards them. This is the problem. If I didn't know them then I could sit there and be totally relaxed but I am simply angry that they avoid me. I had a good relationship to a few of them but all of a sudden they behave strange and avoid me as if I was a leper and this angers me. It makes me really angry. And then I feel like the whole world is against me and I'm all alone once again. I hate this feeling. This makes me feel vulnerable and as a result of this I start building this wall of anger around me. This is how it works. I don't know what to do against this. I mean somehow I am simply attracted by a lot of things which attracted me before I was a christian, these dark things. Before I became a christian I hated a lot of people and I also liked this, this somehow defined me. And somehow it's like these things still attract me. This is why I sometimes ask myself if I was even supposed to be a christian maybe I wasn't even supposed to become a christian because I'm too evil and I cannot really separate myself from it.