What is going on? Is God against me finishing my degree?!

[okstateprincess11]

I am about to be a Senior in College but I found out that I can not continue my degree until I pay off my old school. Turns out it was not paid because of my dad's job situation and my college fund was used to keep a roof over our heads when my dad was out of work. I can not get a loan because my credit is not good enough. I owe about $19,000 and there is no way I can get the money in two months. I have been praying about this but I just can not get any relief. I have been stressing out and I can not tell my dad because he will be furious. Is God against me finishing my degree?! It just seems like everything is falling apart. First this and then I found out that I can not get a newer car because the owner changed his mind about selling me the newer car. I just don't know what to do anymore! I feel like bursting into tears because it seems I can not get a break! I guess my real question is why He would take it away when I was doing so well? I was focused on my school work and rarely goofed off but then I see my peers and they are barely passing classes and partying all the time and they still get to go to school. I am just really frustrated because I don't understand it. In tis world I have been told you don't get very far without a degree and I was trying really hard to complete only to have this happen. I am so lost! Can anyone help me to understand?!

 

[HAMel]

....11, this might not be of any help to you but I offer it up anyway.

I stood before the men of our church not long ago and pointed out that a good test for their faith is to run out of money. I realize this from experience. (Needless to say I haven't been asked to speak again but it's true) It does appear to me that all to often the faith of many Church Members/Believers doesn't extend much past their income.

In answer to your question as to if anyone can help you understand, perhaps the confusion revolves around what you are wanting instead of what the Lord wants for you. Every time you point a finger you have three pointing back at you.

Be honest with yourself and your parents. I really doubt the Lord objects to your education but rather, is just trying to lead you in another direction. Wait on Him and don't lose faith.

With hindsight, since the onset of our financial woes this family hasn't had to do without anything except the previous wasteful lifestyle we were accustomed to.

 

[Servent]

First thing to remember is that GOD is still GOD and He still loves you, maybe He is trying to get you to refocus. Trust Him and talk to your parents, Im sure they still love you also.

 

[Blankstare]

Turns out it was not paid because of my dad's job situation and my college fund was used to keep a roof over our heads when my dad was out of work.

It sounds like a noble thing to use your college money to help your family.

I have been stressing out and I can not tell my dad because he will be furious.

Based on your previous quote, I do not understand why your dad will be furious. Surely he is aware of the fact you spent your college money on the family because of his job situation.

I can not get a loan because my credit is not good enough. I owe about $19,000 and there is no way I can get the money in two months.

Well, at least you know there is no realistic way to get the money in the short time you need it.

I have been praying about this but I just can not get any relief.

Sometimes we get ourselves in a hole and we "pray" that GOD will get us out of our hole. I'm not saying that is what happened here, but you must ask yourself these questions. Did you pray about spending your college money on your family's bills? Or was that a decision you made because it seemed reasonable at the time?

Is God against me finishing my degree?! It just seems like everything is falling apart.

Again, was God "for you" spending the money allocated for your education on something else? If the answer is "yes", then He is not against finishing your degree. God never leads us in a direction to bring us to a dead end. If you prayed about it and you feel God led you to spend your college money on your family's bills, then He will most likely lead you in paying for this.

It could be He wants you take some time off from school. Perhaps He has a plan for your life (I'm sure He does) you had not previously considered. It could be He wants you to be finacially secure prior to finishing this degree to avoid a larger debt in the future. Perhaps His timetable is different than yours (which is most likely the case). There could be any number of reasons for this present difficulty.

Isa 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
Isa 26:4 Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:

My humble suggestion would be for God to direct you. All of the trials I've gone through have strengthened my faith. God wants us to grow closer to Him and trust Him more. When things seem hopeless, that's when God works in our lives.

Trust Him................Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Proverbs 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.


Psa 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD:

 

[Scarlett O.]

Hello OSP11,

I can remember being your age and feeling exactly the same as you do when life threw me a few curve balls. I thought God was against me - in a big way.

You see, I had my life all planned out and part of that plan was that nothing bad was ever going to happen to me - because up until that point, it hadn't. I, too, was a princess. :flower:

I am sorry that you are overwhelmed right now. I can remember that scarey feeling.

If it's true that there is NO WAY that you will be able to finish your senior year in college this up coming year, then sit down with yourself and decide what is the absolute worst that could happen?

You might have to postpone your senior year, get a job, pay off the $19,000 and go back and finish in a couple of years. Would that be the end of the world for you? I know that it wouldn't be what you want to do right now, but would it be so terrible? Lots and lots of people don't finish their 4-year degree in four years. LOTS.

Plans change. Drastically. Right smack dab in the middle of what we often think is sheer certainty. The more flexible we can become and the more that we realize that God isn't punishing us every time this happens and the more we can shift our self-worth, joy, and peace off of our ever-changing circumstances and base those things on our never-changing God - the easier life is to handle.

I'll pray that God grant you peace and that you find a positive solution to finishing your college degree either now or in a few years.

 

[saturneptune]

I want to address the more practical side, but the other posts are great advice. I really do not see why your Dad would be mad, as it seems you have done nothing but the right thing.

Have you filled out a FAFSA and tried to get a Pell Grant or Stafford Loan from the federal government? You can fill out one online at FAFSA.gov, and have it sent to the college you want to get your degree at for free. Have you applied for scholarships, or internships? As a last resort, have you tried a private bank? If you can get a Pell Grant, you do not have to pay it back. If you get a Stafford Loan, it is not due for payments until you graduate.

Short of that, sometimes colleges offer part time jobs, or maybe you could take a reduced load, say nine to twelve hours, and work a job. Going three shorter semesters instead of two is no crime.

God bless you on your future, and hope this helps.

 

[okstateprincess11]

I want to address the more practical side, but the other posts are great advice. I really do not see why your Dad would be mad, as it seems you have done nothing but the right thing.

Have you filled out a FAFSA and tried to get a Pell Grant or Stafford Loan from the federal government? You can fill out one online at FAFSA.gov, and have it sent to the college you want to get your degree at for free. Have you applied for scholarships, or internships? As a last resort, have you tried a private bank? If you can get a Pell Grant, you do not have to pay it back. If you get a Stafford Loan, it is not due for payments until you graduate.

Short of that, sometimes colleges offer part time jobs, or maybe you could take a reduced load, say nine to twelve hours, and work a job. Going three shorter semesters instead of two is no crime.

God bless you on your future, and hope this helps.

I am working on my FAFSA right now but the problem is that none of the options you just listed will take care of the tuition that is owed. It will only go toward current semesters. The thing about my dad is sometimes his memory is not at its best and so sometimes if we mention something he will say that he doesn't remember any of that occuring. The other thing is that My dad would not like being left out of the loop so to speak.

 

[saturneptune]

I am working on my FAFSA right now but the problem is that none of the options you just listed will take care of the tuition that is owed. It will only go toward current semesters. The thing about my dad is sometimes his memory is not at its best and so sometimes if we mention something he will say that he doesn't remember any of that occuring. The other thing is that My dad would not like being left out of the loop so to speak.

I am not understanding why they are holding past debts as hostage for getting new loans. Where did you get that money? If it is a government loan, they are not suppose to be due until you graduate. If they are not government loans, on the FAFSA web site, read the section about consolidating loans under the government so they are not due until you graduate.

 

[exscentric]

I'm one of the millions that did a degree in 5 or 6 years. Take a break, get a job if you have none and get reset financially and go for it.

Education is not a guaranteed item in this country. We spent the most of our lives scrimping and barely getting by on old clunkers that ran well enough to get us around - most of the time - then there were the times of walking and bus rides.

God isn't our bank, he is our God and He has a plan for each of us. Situations often are His directions.

He calls us to do the best we can and no more. He did not tell us it would be easy.

I found a greeting card years ago that I gave to my wife during some of our harder times. It was a young cartoon couple at the bottom with a humongous earth on their backs. "Its you and me against the world" was the caption but there were smiles on the couple's faces.

Often trials end up allowing us to be an encouragement to others later on so be sure you are enduring things that will be of benefit one day.

II Peter was written to folks that were about to face trials, maybe a read would let you know that you are not alone in your hard times.

 

[okstateprincess11]

I am not understanding why they are holding past debts as hostage for getting new loans. Where did you get that money? If it is a government loan, they are not suppose to be due until you graduate. If they are not government loans, on the FAFSA web site, read the section about consolidating loans under the government so they are not due until you graduate.

This is not a loan that I am having problems with, its actual tuition that had not gotten paid. It got sent to a collections agency and the school wont release transcripts because of the owed tuition. thats why I sad that the fafsa is great and I am working on finishing it but it won't go toward past owed tuition.

 

[Peggy]

Princess, if that is the worst thing that ever happens to you, consider yourself lucky.

 

[Tom Butler]

You might have to postpone your senior year, get a job, pay off the $19,000 and go back and finish in a couple of years. Would that be the end of the world for you? I know that it wouldn't be what you want to do right now, but would it be so terrible? Lots and lots of people don't finish their 4-year degree in four years. LOTS.

I'm one of them. I worked full time the last four years of my college career, and it took 5-and-a-half years. Scarlett is giving good advice. And by all means tell everything to Dad.

Oh--and by the way, when God closes a door, quit trying to open it. He'll re-open it when it's time.

 

[okstateprincess11]

I am sorry if it looks as if my post makes it seem like I am whining but I am not. I have an anxiety problem that developed while I was away at my old university. I use to consider myself a strong Christian up until this point. For some reason I just can not get it together. I am overwhelmed because this is not the only thing that is going on with me (I won't get into what all else is going on) but I am really going through a severe storm right now. I have read each and every post and have taken the advice to heart. I talk to God daily but I am also the type of person who likes to plan and know what is going to happen down the road. I guess it would not be so bad if it weren't for the fact that everyone keeps telling me how proud they are of me for my accomplishments throughout this last school year. My worst fear is disappointment from others and from myself. I am my worst critic and thats only because I am a perfectionist. I hope this helps you to understand where I am coming from. I am sure this is probably not the worst thing that could happen to me but right now it feels like it.

 

[Scarlett O.]

I am sorry if it looks as if my post makes it seem like I am whining but I am not. I have an anxiety problem that developed while I was away at my old university. I use to consider myself a strong Christian up until this point. For some reason I just can not get it together. I am overwhelmed because this is not the only thing that is going on with me (I won't get into what all else is going on) but I am really going through a severe storm right now. I have read each and every post and have taken the advice to heart. I talk to God daily but I am also the type of person who likes to plan and know what is going to happen down the road. I guess it would not be so bad if it weren't for the fact that everyone keeps telling me how proud they are of me for my accomplishments throughout this last school year. My worst fear is disappointment from others and from myself. I am my worst critic and thats only because I am a perfectionist. I hope this helps you to understand where I am coming from. I am sure this is probably not the worst thing that could happen to me but right now it feels like it.

I don't consider your posts to be whining. You have legitimate worries.

As I am reading you, it's like I'm going back in a time machine and listening to my younger self of 25-30 years ago. :flower:

You say that you are anxiety ridden because of stress and a feeling of not being able to "get it together". Well, guess what else. You are unable to get it together because you are stressed out and anxiety ridden. And you are stressed out because you cannot get it together and are full of anxiety. All of these sensations feed off of each other and they increase the size of each other.

I cannot tell you what to do as I only know an extremely limited version of you.

But I can tell you what I would go back in time and tell my younger self.

• Life plans are a good thing. A to-do list for the day and goal setting for the years are good. But - plans change. You can bank on it. Year to year. Sometimes hour to hour. NEVER FORGET THIS. The plans are NOT in charge of you. You, with God's direction, control the plans and direct them as you see fit.
• Life is overwhelming. It's full of deep valleys, high peaks, and long and lonely plains. At any given age and at any given time you will find yourself saying, "I'm stressed out!!! This is too hard!!!" When you are in that mindset. STOP! Get out a notebook and quickly write down 10 things that you are overwhelmingly grateful to God for.
• Life is best lived, endured, and enjoyed a bite at a time. Swallowing too much of life's problems at one time will get the best of you. Trying to manipulate and perfect a month or a year at one sitting will drive you crazy. Take the tough days just an hour at time. Take the joyful days a pleasing moment at a time.
• Finally, life cannot be lived trying to not disappoint others. You said that your greatest fear in life was disappointing others. STOP! STOP! STOP! I so wish someone had taken me by the shoulders when I was 22 years old and screamed that in my face. Listen to me. Those who love you will love you hard even when they are disappointed in you. Those who don't care about you will NEVER approve of anything you do even if you are feeding the homeless or curing cancer. And those who don't know you - what does it matter what they think. You are only to seek the approval of God. I spend at least two decades trying my hardest to seek approval from others by accomplishing things. It was a monumental waste of my time - not the accomplishments, but the "why" I was doing it. My heart was broken and it was my own fault for being a "people-pleaser". It wasn't until I was in my early 40's that I realized that the people who loved me did so for NOTHING that I had accomplished, but because I was just little ol' me.

You are going to be all right. This financial situation and the private situations that you going through will rectify themselves and life will continue and another set of circumstances will come your way to tackle.

It may be painful process or an easy one. It may be overnight or over a period of years. But the process of rectification will take place.

Read and meditate on Psalm 37. It's about learning how not to worry.

 

[saturneptune]

Princess,
There is some very good advice in the above posts. It is good to put things in perspective. As you have been told, many took longer than four years. Look at it this way. Look how far the Lord has taken you. You are on the very brink of a Bachelor's Degree, and besides maybe a few delays, nothing will stop you. There is also degrees above that to get. Think about all the people who drop out of high school, drop out of college, and never return. Think about all the people in minimum wages jobs with children, or on some kind of government subsidized help. It is a good chunk of the population.

What I am trying to say is that you are light years ahead of most others. The only way for you is up. Keep yourself focused on the Lord, and He will continue to lead you where you should be. Do not forget to praise and thank Him.

Back to the situation, once you figure out how to handle the back tuition, from now on, fill out your FAFSA, and be on the constant lookout for scholarships. You have to be pro active to get the funds. Also, there are many who work and go to school.

God bless you in your journey.

 

[okstateprincess11]

Well I thought things could not get any worse and they just did. My car just died and I don't have the funds to fix it. I am ready to just check out of life. I don't have anyone to talk to about what is going on because my mom told me not to tell anyone about what is going on with school including my dad. I try to talk to her about finding a solution but all she does is get defensive and yell at me. All I wanted was to vent. I dont know what to do anymore.

 

[Tom Butler]

Princess, you need to talk to your dad, regardless of your mother's wishes.

 

[J.D.]

I just turned 53, and I'm finally finishing up my BA next month. Along the way I had to repay a student loan between classes. It took a long time, but it got paid off.

Be patient, A degree not essential to live a Godly life, and do what God wants you to do now while you're waiting for other doors to open. Your first ministry is to your family no matter what, and then to your church and immediate community. That is every man's calling. Be faithful in it.

 

[okstateprincess11]

**update***

I still dont have the money and my dad still doesnt know. I have been in school though because the community college does have a copy of my transcript from the college I owe. I know that this will probably be my last semester in school because I can not get my bachelor's degree at the community college. I wish things turned out different. I look in despair and anger as I watch all of my classmates and friends from the University I left, graduate and live their lives. I always wonder why thats not me. I dont know what the plan is but I guess I have no choice but to sit and find out now. Thank you all for the prayers and support but I think this will be the end of the road for me and my education.

 

[Tom Butler]

Princess, start looking for a job. Now. Tell your mother you're going to tell Dad.

Quit deceiving your father. Quite deceiving the community college. Start being honest with everybody that's involved in this situation.

Life is what happens when you have something else planned.

Don't think I'm unsympathetic. It's not fun right now for you. But you came here looking for help, and seem to have ignored some good advice. Your way isn't working. Time to do something else.