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What is going on? Is God against me finishing my degree?!

freeatlast

New Member
I am sorry. I apologize. I went to church today and realized what the problem was and I apologize. I should have asked Christ all these questions and not you all because you all are just as flawed as I am. I know now what I have to do.
In my offense though, I have no problem with putting on my big girl panties and doing what I have to do. I never said I wasnt going to do anything about my problem and I think we all lost sight of the real question I was asking in the beginning. I was asking if God would ever be against me getting an education. I was not blaming God or whining or giving up. I was merely wanting to know the opinions of you all about this question. I am "getting my act together" the best way I know how and if you feel like otherwise then i am sorry. I personally think if you were in my shoes with this situation, you feel the exact same overwhelming hurt that I felt. Furthermore, my parents using my college fund was not stealing nor was it irresponsible. They were merely keeping me and my family from being homeless. That college fund was the last of what we had to make ends meet when my parents were laid off. They didnt feel that it was any of my business, at the time they used it, to know that they were spending it. The only reason they told me that was so that we could make the decision to get the loan. I know that debt goes against the word of God but I dont think its right for you all to put me down because of it. We have all had our debts and we have all had to pay our dues and its my turn now. I am not giving up but I am saying that I may have to give up my dream to take care of business. I have grown up alot and I dont think that its fair to think otherwise. I was merely stating what I have tried and what I know I cant do right now because of laws and the debt that is owed. I said I would seek employment and I have and it hasnt been easy. I have taken every piece of advice given to me and used it. Im sorry you feel otherwise but I think my intentions were taken the wrong way.

By your response your problem is not with the size of your panties. It is your heart. You asked for counsel and then you spurn it. That should tell you something about yourself.
 

NaasPreacher (C4K)

Well-Known Member
Princess, you speak as though you are the only one who has struggled with severe trials and disappointment. A lot of us here have a whole litany of difficulties that could be counted. Folks have spoken out of experience and from caring hearts.

No one belittles your struggle. A lot of folks have learned though that these things are not the end of the world. Hopefully you will see this as a James 1 experience and be that one step closer to spiritual maturity when you have come through it.
 

sag38

Active Member
By your response your problem is not with the size of your panties. It is your heart. You asked for counsel and then you spurn it. That should tell you something about yourself.

And your response also tells us something about you.
 

Benjamin

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
By your response your problem is not with the size of your panties. It is your heart. You asked for counsel and then you spurn it. That should tell you something about yourself.

And your response also tells us something about you.

Thank you, because I was at a loss of words to respond to that response. Well said!
 
No I dont think I am the only one with issues and I have not rejected any piece of advice people have told me. I have taken everything into consideration but what I am saying is everytime I said it wouldnt work out if I did it the way someone suggest, then I am considered to be whining or I am being unreasonable and thats not true. My response was to merely say the question was to be a way to get all of your opinions on whether or not god would be against me getting my education and thats all. I just think things just got out of hand with this conversation.
To say I havent been belittled is an understatement. There were people saying "You call yourself a Christian" and judging my heart as if I am coming from a bad place. I have a very big heart and for others to say that I dont based on a life issue is very harsh. I have never felt that way about any of you all and I have always been grateful for all the advice given.:tear: I felt despair and hurt just like what some of you have talked about. I dont think its fair for me to judged and saying that I shouldnt feel that way. you would feel the same way if this were happening to you. I do call myself a Christian because I have prayed and continue to pray over this situation and if we went through a recording of your lives, you would have no room to tell me how to be a Christian. We are all flawed and none of us has the right to make that judgement except for Christ alone.
 

NaasPreacher (C4K)

Well-Known Member
Sounds like you might be helped by a good study on the book of Job. I think if you study it carefully and prayerfully you will be blessed greatly.
 
Sounds like you might be helped by a good study on the book of Job. I think if you study it carefully and prayerfully you will be blessed greatly.

Oh yeah!! I have read Job several times and it looks like I need to read it again! I love that story! Thanks for the reminder!!:thumbs:
 

Arbo

Active Member
Site Supporter
OKSP- Reread C4K in post 42. I think he sums it up rather well.

I'd venture to say that yours is not an uncommon dilema. Does Our Lord want you to further your education? Maybe yes. If so, opportunities will present themselves which will enable you to do it. It will probably require a certain amount of initiative and work on your part. If He wants you to stop or postpone your education, it's for a reason. He probably has other plans for you. Just be open to His direction, even if it isn't what you had in mind.

The key is to keep praying about it and keep moving. Don't let yourself get too down, and don't let youself get lazy.

You're young. Ten, twenty, thirty years from now the view will be different.

Chin up and hang in there.

Ps- Don't let those who confuse seasoning with salt with rubbing salt in wounds get to you.
 

NaasPreacher (C4K)

Well-Known Member
Oh yeah!! I have read Job several times and it looks like I need to read it again! I love that story! Thanks for the reminder!!:thumbs:

Take the time to really study it through. If you are interested I will send you a list of some key passages to consider. I recently went through Job in my blog and covered a lot of those high points.
 
Princess, a lot has been said here already, most of it good.

First off, when God looks at the plans of men (and women) he laughs. I don’t know who said that first but it has been repeated many times including in my still unpublished novel. I know you had big plans and I am not belittling them at all, I love to make plans as well, but in the end what God has planned will be better. I know that right now you are dealing with disappointment that your dreams will be changed, but God does know what he is doing.

Second, I feel that much of your anxiety comes from others, you don’t want to disappoint others, you don’t want to upset your father or mother. That is all well and good but if you were a senior this year you are at least what 21? Time to stand on your own. They are not your parent’s bills anymore, they are yours.

I will tell you that I think the last thing you need to do is move back home with mom and dad. That will regress you emotionally 5 years and put on a plan to be a dependent live at home adult 10 years from now. Get out there in the world and stand on your own. Get a job, get an apartment, and find your way. I was sitting here thinking if you were a boy, or my boy, I would say enlist in the military and I realize that is fairly sexist of me, girls can sign up good as boys now days. If you have decent test scores and some college you could be looking at an enlistment bonus that could make a serious dent in that debt. In a few years you could come out ready to finish and head for grad school. If jobs are hard to come by where you are like they are here I would sure consider the military.

Finally, you are not done! Your life is just beginning. I know you feel like your dreams are shattered but you have so much more ahead of you. If you only knew the things God has planned for you. We don’t know you at all here princess, but we know your God. I can tell you that if you knew all God had planned you would both tremble in fear and praise his name. You are in the midst of trial right now, and I know it seems like the end of the world, but there are many things yet to come. Trials that will make this one look like training, which in fact it is, and joy you can’t imagine.

Don’t give up Princess you haven’t even started yet. It will get harder. The only easy day was yesterday. But someday you will know it was worth it. God wants you to be educated, he wants you to pay your bills, he wants you to grow up and be able to stand on your own, but his view is much longer and larger than ours and what He is building, is you.
 
Princess, a lot has been said here already, most of it good.

First off, when God looks at the plans of men (and women) he laughs. I don’t know who said that first but it has been repeated many times including in my still unpublished novel. I know you had big plans and I am not belittling them at all, I love to make plans as well, but in the end what God has planned will be better. I know that right now you are dealing with disappointment that your dreams will be changed, but God does know what he is doing.

Second, I feel that much of your anxiety comes from others, you don’t want to disappoint others, you don’t want to upset your father or mother. That is all well and good but if you were a senior this year you are at least what 21? Time to stand on your own. They are not your parent’s bills anymore, they are yours.

I will tell you that I think the last thing you need to do is move back home with mom and dad. That will regress you emotionally 5 years and put on a plan to be a dependent live at home adult 10 years from now. Get out there in the world and stand on your own. Get a job, get an apartment, and find your way. I was sitting here thinking if you were a boy, or my boy, I would say enlist in the military and I realize that is fairly sexist of me, girls can sign up good as boys now days. If you have decent test scores and some college you could be looking at an enlistment bonus that could make a serious dent in that debt. In a few years you could come out ready to finish and head for grad school. If jobs are hard to come by where you are like they are here I would sure consider the military.

Finally, you are not done! Your life is just beginning. I know you feel like your dreams are shattered but you have so much more ahead of you. If you only knew the things God has planned for you. We don’t know you at all here princess, but we know your God. I can tell you that if you knew all God had planned you would both tremble in fear and praise his name. You are in the midst of trial right now, and I know it seems like the end of the world, but there are many things yet to come. Trials that will make this one look like training, which in fact it is, and joy you can’t imagine.

Don’t give up Princess you haven’t even started yet. It will get harder. The only easy day was yesterday. But someday you will know it was worth it. God wants you to be educated, he wants you to pay your bills, he wants you to grow up and be able to stand on your own, but his view is much longer and larger than ours and what He is building, is you.

To your first point: I do realize that God's plan is not the same as my plan. That is crystal clear to me. But, I have been told that if we ever want to know what is going on with our lives, then it is okay to ask God why and thats all I am doing.

To your second point: I never said they weren't my bills nor my responsibility. I have no problem with paying it off myself. What I was trying to get across is that I have questions to God as to why this is all happening, betwwen the lay offs and the surgery and now this stuff with school. I said all of this details because I wanted you to understand why I feel overwhelmed and questioning why.

To your third point: I do live at home. I moved back home after I moved back from campus. I can not afford to live on my own yet. Furthermore, the military isnt for everybody and especially me. I have health problems (that I wont get into) that keep me from being in the military. I know its an option but its not for everybody. I will find employment. its hard everywhere right now but it will just take time.

Thanks for all the advice you have given me. I really do appreciate it but I did want to let you know those things
 
I have been told that if we ever want to know what is going on with our lives, then it is okay to ask God why and thats all I am doing. . . . Thanks for all the advice you have given me. I really do appreciate it but I did want to let you know those things
Of course you are allowed to ask why, even Jesus did (Matt 27:46). The other side of that of course is that God is under no obilgation to answer. He does not have to explain himself to us even though many times I have wished he would.

I hope we have not discouraged you, that was certainly not my intent. You have a bright future ahead of you and we look forward to seeing you emerge from your trials. Thank you for sharing so much of your problems with us here on the board.

I am sorry if I hit too close with that third point, I thought you were still in school and did not realize you had moved home. For someone who has lived on their own to return to their parents home like that it can make for a very difficult situation. You may see yourself as an independant adult while they still remember the child they cared for so many years. That may be adding to your frustration. Until you can secure a job I don't know a good solution but it may help to simply realize that is part of the problem. My wife and I had a similar situation early in our marriage and it still holds hurt and scars.

Since you shared so much with us let me share this with you. Just over a year after we were married I shipped out for Saudi Arabia and then later Iraq in the first gulf war. My wife tried to stay at home but living alone in the home we had shared was difficult. My parents found her a job near them and offered for her to come live with them while I was away. Well combining her grief at having a husband away at war and their grief at having a son away we had the dynamic of her having lived on her own and then with me for several years and my parents trying to overcompensate for thier missing child by treating her like one. They all had the best intentions but it was a disaster and their relationships with each other never recovered. So try and understand if your parents still treat you like a child and then get out of there as soon as you are able. That's my opinion anyway for what its worth.
 
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NaasPreacher (C4K)

Well-Known Member
Yes I am interested! Please send them to me!!

Probably the easiest thing would be to go to my blog (link in my signature line below) starting with December 21, 2010.

You may or may not find the comments helpful, but the verse are those which really stuck out in my last study. The thoughts run till about the end of January.

Been praying for you.
 
***Update***

I just thought I would let all of you know what has been happening since I last posted. I am currently going to graduate in the fall with my associates in science degree. Its not the bachelors degree I wanted but it's a start. I am 5 classes away from having my bachelors degree but I still haven't figured out a way to pay off my debt. My mom did get laid off again and has yet to find work. I am still stressed out but I am doing all I can to not sink into a deep depression. I have missed being a full time, full fledged student and I have lost some of my drive in the past years. It has been tough watching my friends graduate and move on to bigger and better things but I can only do what I can do. Part of me regrets going off to college but part of doesn't. I loved the experience, just wish things didn't go the way they did. I have been praying and praying trying to figure out what to do but I am still in the dark. I am trying though but it has been extremely difficult. That's all for now!!
 

Don

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Ma'am,
Don't look at the others who are graduating; realize that God has a different, specific plan for YOU.

I have an incurable condition; it doesn't prevent me from doing anything, but I have to have a medical procedure every couple of years or so to ensure that it doesn't turn into cancer. In wondering why this happened, I came across 2 Cor 1:4 - Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

Sometimes we go through certain things so that we can help others when they go through the same or similar things.

Sure enough, about a year or so after I was first diagnosed with this condition, one of the people I worked with found out their father was diagnosed with it. All they knew was the potential for cancer. I was able to present myself as a living example of what they were dealing with, and provide comfort to them.

The same is happening to you. And that's why we should count it all joy when we're faced with trials and tribulations.

In the meantime, just keep working away at the debts. And see if you can take one or two classes a year. Sure, it means you won't get your bachelor's for a few more years; but hey, my wife loves to joke about how I squeezed a 4-year degree into only 14 years. And definitely do what Magnetic Poles advises; you never know what's available until you ask.

Praying.
 

freeatlast

New Member
I am about to be a Senior in College but I found out that I can not continue my degree until I pay off my old school. Turns out it was not paid because of my dad's job situation and my college fund was used to keep a roof over our heads when my dad was out of work. I can not get a loan because my credit is not good enough. I owe about $19,000 and there is no way I can get the money in two months. I have been praying about this but I just can not get any relief. I have been stressing out and I can not tell my dad because he will be furious. Is God against me finishing my degree?! It just seems like everything is falling apart. First this and then I found out that I can not get a newer car because the owner changed his mind about selling me the newer car. I just don't know what to do anymore! I feel like bursting into tears because it seems I can not get a break! I guess my real question is why He would take it away when I was doing so well? I was focused on my school work and rarely goofed off but then I see my peers and they are barely passing classes and partying all the time and they still get to go to school. I am just really frustrated because I don't understand it. In tis world I have been told you don't get very far without a degree and I was trying really hard to complete only to have this happen. I am so lost! Can anyone help me to understand?!
If you look into the bible your situation is exactly how God works. Things seem to go good and then they seem to fall apart. Just keep on trusting Him and doing what is right letting Him have His way in His timing. As long as you have done all you can then it is up to Him. Accept what ever He brings your way.
PHL. 4:11-13
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, [therewith] to be content.
I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
 
Tell your school's financial councilor about your situation. They may have help you have not yet thought of.

I have spoken to them but because of the fact that the account is in collections, all I can do at this point is find a way to pay it off. I have called and talked to several people and I have gone in person.
 
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