I going to go play Beethoven's Chorale Fantasy, right now, and it's going to be very loud. Because it's awesome, loud. Music is a selfish experience for me. I don't like to talk to people, or do anything that takes me away from it. I like to analyze each instrument, and separate the parts, learn the math in the chord changes. Can't do that unless the music is loud. Live music is especially enjoyable for me.
Movie theatre sound levels are regulated, pretty heavily. There is more bass, but not more volume, than there used to be. Sound is getting digitized, 7 speaker surround sound systems are the norm. The sound is harsh, and unnatural, and that might be offending your ear more than the sound level.
I have an old Kenwood amplifier, with 2 big JBL speakers, old-school. No obnoxious subwoofers, no 7.1 anything like that. I have a BOSE Wave Radio hooked up to my Mac to watch Netflix shows. Pretty simple, actually.