When does temptation become sin

[Derrick]

I'm not looking for justification, nor do I wish for anyone to judge me.

I love my wife. I consider myself a solid Christian conservative man. I would never dream of cheating.

So when I see a beautiful woman (not that my wife is not, she is), obviously, there is temptation.

But when does that temptation become sin? When I just acknowledge in my mind, "Wow, she is beautiful (or even hot)", when I slow down or turn to get another look or look longer, when I begin to fantasize (but with no intent) about her.

That last one, probably is, but I want to get some feedback on this. This is something that I struggle with daily.

 

[Scarlett O.]

Meditate on this:

• James, the half-brother of Jesus says that "but each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren." James 1:14-15
• Jesus, himself, said that "a man who looks at a woman with a lustful purpose in his heart has already committed adultery." Matthew 5:27-28
• God also says that there is "no temptation that isn't common to humanity and there is always a way of escape". 1 Corinthians 10:13.

You like pretty women. That's normal. So do the majority of men. You are visually driven. Also, normal. What is a struggle for you is you battle this, as you say, daily

Where does the sin come from?

• It's not in the initial view of that pretty woman in the grocery store or church or walking down the street and then turning away.
• It's in the purposeful SECOND look that is for the purpose of taking pleasure in her shape and form.
• It's in the quiet and private fantasy of that woman and what it would be like to be with her. Whether there is "intent" as you say or not, fantasizing sexually about the pretty woman who is not your wife is sin. So says Jesus. It doesn't matter if you don't intend to act on it.
• Lust, to me, is akin to greed.

So how to battle this? God DID say that there was always a way of escape. I'll just give you one. Others may have some ideas. The Apostle Paul gave the young man, Timothy, some advice. It's in 2 Timothy 2:22. You can remember it for all those 2's. "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

Three steps:

• FLEE!!! Don't turn around for the second look. You don't HAVE to do that. No one is making you except you. The devil can't make you sin. There isn't a demon on one shoulder and an angel on another shoulder. It's all, as James, the half-brother of Jesus says, on you. We sin because we have evil desires.
• You WILL turn back if you have nothing to run TOl Paul says to "pursue" righteousness, faith, love, and peace". Spend your time pursuing those things and "fleeing" will be much easier.
• Paul says to do this with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Find men who have conquered this - for the most part - and make them your mentors. Share your struggles with them.

This has to stop and I know that you know it. You don't HAVE to do this. There IS a way of escape. There is so much more to your life than his. I will pray for you.

 

[Salty]

In my single days - I remember checking out the gals - oh yea - there are some good lookers....
But after my girlfriend and I got serious - and had a committed relationship -even before we got married.
I no longer even had a desire to check out the gals! Cant explain it -

 

[Reformed1689]

I'm not looking for justification, nor do I wish for anyone to judge me.

I love my wife. I consider myself a solid Christian conservative man. I would never dream of cheating.

So when I see a beautiful woman (not that my wife is not, she is), obviously, there is temptation.

But when does that temptation become sin? When I just acknowledge in my mind, "Wow, she is beautiful (or even hot)", when I slow down or turn to get another look or look longer, when I begin to fantasize (but with no intent) about her.

That last one, probably is, but I want to get some feedback on this. This is something that I struggle with daily.

Temptation is not sin. Acting on that temptation is sin.

 

[Bible Thumpin n Gun Totin]

I'm not looking for justification, nor do I wish for anyone to judge me.

I love my wife. I consider myself a solid Christian conservative man. I would never dream of cheating.

So when I see a beautiful woman (not that my wife is not, she is), obviously, there is temptation.

But when does that temptation become sin? When I just acknowledge in my mind, "Wow, she is beautiful (or even hot)", when I slow down or turn to get another look or look longer, when I begin to fantasize (but with no intent) about her.

That last one, probably is, but I want to get some feedback on this. This is something that I struggle with daily.

It's the second look. Noticing it is not sin, it's how God made men. We are supposed to notice. We decide on our wives by noticing this attractiveness. Noticing is one thing, fixating on it, or looking again is another.

There is however an additional issue in our culture where many women enjoy dressing like harlots. In this case the first look often leads directly to sin because they're practically nekkid.

When a male sees a nekkid woman the mind often doesn't even need a second look to jump immediately to lust. That is when us men must cage our thoughts, throw the bad ones away, and repent immediately. God will judge these women, which seem to make up at least 90% of the populace, extremely severely for their tempting of God's sons and causing them to stumble. When this happens to me I pray to God and picture myself placing the temptation on Christ's shoulders. This works for me.

Something I do is I don't allow my family to go where women expose themselves in high occurrences. Strip clubs, beaches, college campuses, and brothels are no-go zones. I make allowances in winter though. Thank God for wind chill.

 

[agedman]

I'm not looking for justification, nor do I wish for anyone to judge me.

I love my wife. I consider myself a solid Christian conservative man. I would never dream of cheating.

So when I see a beautiful woman (not that my wife is not, she is), obviously, there is temptation.

But when does that temptation become sin? When I just acknowledge in my mind, "Wow, she is beautiful (or even hot)", when I slow down or turn to get another look or look longer, when I begin to fantasize (but with no intent) about her.

That last one, probably is, but I want to get some feedback on this. This is something that I struggle with daily.

I spent some time in discussion with Dr. Rice and this topic came up. He was a man, and a man of sterling character.

We agreed that the key is found in the verses in Galatians 5:

13For you, brothers, were called to freedom; but do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh. Rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is fulfilled in a single decree: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15But if you keep on biting and devouring one another, watch out, or you will be consumed by one another. Ezekiel 36:16–38; Romans 8:9–11)

16So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are opposed to each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; 20idolatry and sorcery; hatred, discord, jealousy, and rage; rivalries, divisions, factions, 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us walk in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying one another.
​

Scarlot O gave a wonder post, and I hesitate to add to her presentation.

It is important to bring and keep every thought captive. But also to remember that all matters of temptation come from outside the body EXCEPT the sensual. The sensual is generated as part of our nature and as a result MUST be held accountable both by yourself and your wife.

No body can give you 12 step program to resolve all sensual temptation, but you, by self determination, avoid even the appearance of evil. Don't become conceited in thinking that you will no longer have the problem or have victory. That just isn't the way men are put together.

Lastly, Give no place to the devil. If you do not conform to the Spirit, you WILL fail. So, don't watch programs that are the least bit provocative. Period. Guard your MIND! What you read, what you hear. The mind becomes a devil's playground is unguarded.

Don't be afraid to have your wife (IF she is godly) help hold you accountable. She will know far sooner then you are aware, anyway.

Remember, no real man has not gone through these temptations, EVEN our Lord and Savior. So you can be an over comer, too.

 

[Van]

I live in a California beach town, with a pier, public showers and lots of beach goers. Many of them are teen-age girls dressed in scant (and very scant) swimsuits. So when I walked along the beach or on the pier, I would see girls and my depraved mind would immediately think about how great it would be to sleep with them. My solution was to stop walking in that area. Instead I walk in a park with bunnies, flowers, trees lizards and the like. So, I believe if we seek to avoid sin, we are doing what we can, given our fleshly desires. We are to "set our minds" on spiritual things rather than fleshly desire.

 

[canadyjd]

I'm not looking for justification, nor do I wish for anyone to judge me.

I love my wife. I consider myself a solid Christian conservative man. I would never dream of cheating.

So when I see a beautiful woman (not that my wife is not, she is), obviously, there is temptation.

But when does that temptation become sin? When I just acknowledge in my mind, "Wow, she is beautiful (or even hot)", when I slow down or turn to get another look or look longer, when I begin to fantasize (but with no intent) about her.

That last one, probably is, but I want to get some feedback on this. This is something that I struggle with daily.

Personally, I have trained myself not to look. I intentionally make eye contact, say hello, and I do not allow myself to look anywhere else. If a woman walks by, I turn my gaze in another direction, just do no one can accuse me of gawking.

If other guys around me say something inappropriate, I do not comment on the woman at all, but I might say their comment was inappropriate, which usually stops that kind of talk around me.

Billy Graham had a rule that he would never allow himself to be alone with a woman not his wife or relative. Not anywhere. Elevator, dinner table, vehicle, no where. Even he understood a Christian must avoid the temptation like death itself.

peace to you

 

[Aaron]

You have to understand that every human desire is corrupted. Your glances at the pretty girls are not unstained with sin, not even the glances at one's wife. This, of course, does not lead the Christian to despair. All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven.

The danger is thinking that there is a carnal line between sin and righteousness, and there is not. Adam and Eve in their innocence could be naked and unashamed. Those days are gone.

Now that we've established that you don't go day to day, or even moment to moment without the stain of sin, the question is, how does one love his wife?

It certainly helps if she is lovely, and by that I don't mean pretty. But there is no commandment one keeps without the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

[Aaron]

I would add that the idea of training one's eyes is a carnal manipulation on the surface. Sin is in the heart. When one can look WITHOUT the strong desire, then he has overcome his lust.

 

[canadyjd]

I would add that the idea of training one's eyes is a carnal manipulation on the surface. Sin is in the heart. When one can look WITHOUT the strong desire, then he has overcome his lust.

Well, until I’m able to obtain such sinless perfection, I’ll advert my eyes to avoid the temptation and appearance of sin.

peace to you

 

[JesusFan]

I'm not looking for justification, nor do I wish for anyone to judge me.

I love my wife. I consider myself a solid Christian conservative man. I would never dream of cheating.

So when I see a beautiful woman (not that my wife is not, she is), obviously, there is temptation.

But when does that temptation become sin? When I just acknowledge in my mind, "Wow, she is beautiful (or even hot)", when I slow down or turn to get another look or look longer, when I begin to fantasize (but with no intent) about her.

That last one, probably is, but I want to get some feedback on this. This is something that I struggle with daily.

Jesus stated that when we covet and lust in our hearts would be sinning to God, but to us still not nearly as bad as when actually go thru with the sexual act!

 

[Aaron]

Well, until I’m able to obtain such sinless perfection, I’ll advert my eyes to avoid the temptation and appearance of sin.

peace to you

K. But that is my point. There is no commandment actually kept without the power of the Holy Spirit. Bodily exercise (averting one's eyes) profiteth little.

 

[canadyjd]

K. But that is my point. There is no commandment actually kept without the power of the Holy Spirit. Bodily exercise (averting one's eyes) profiteth little.

How do you know God Holy Spirit isn’t empowering folks to advert their eyes to avoid temptation and sin?

peace to you

 

[Aaron]

How do you know God Holy Spirit isn’t empowering folks to advert their eyes to avoid temptation and sin?

peace to you

Sin is in the heart. If one's lust is such that he cannot look on a beautiful woman without thinking on her, then one has avoided neither temptation nor sin. In fact sin and temptation are controlling him.

Also, herein is where a happy marriage is a good help.

 

[5 point Gillinist]

Well, until I’m able to obtain such sinless perfection, I’ll advert my eyes to avoid the temptation and appearance of sin.

peace to you

I'm pretty sure Job did the same thing - Job 31:1. It's what I do too.

 

[5 point Gillinist]

Sin is in the heart. If one's lust is such that he cannot look on a beautiful woman without thinking on her, then one has avoided neither temptation nor sin. In fact sin and temptation are controlling him.

Also, herein is where a happy marriage is a good help.

So it would have been ok for David to look at Bathsheba bathing if he had had no sinful desire for her?

I think the heart that realizes its proclivities to sin and makes a conscious effort not to put itself into a situation where sin would entice them is evidence of a heart that hates sin, and a heart that longs to obey God. There is a reason the Paul commanded the women to dress modestly in 1 Timothy 2.

Proverbs 4:14-15, and Proverbs 7 would suggest that we live wisely and avoid situations that would tempt us to sin - Joseph also fled temptation when Potiphar's wife made sexual advances towards him.

 

[canadyjd]

Sin is in the heart. If one's lust is such that he cannot look on a beautiful woman without thinking on her, then one has avoided neither temptation nor sin. In fact sin and temptation are controlling him.

Also, herein is where a happy marriage is a good help.

So, you are saying people are sinful?

Peace to you

 

[Aaron]

So it would have been ok for David to look at Bathsheba bathing if he had had no sinful desire for her?

I'm not talking about voyeurism.

I'm just talking about going day to day, and seeing a beautiful woman, and thinking that because one has looked away, that he has avoided sin or temptation.

Maybe a better example of what I'm talking about could be the tendency to over eat. Diets tend to make one focus more on food and his appetite than he would normally. Wouldn't it be better to just not have the strong desire for food, than to have to purge one's home of meat and potatoes and bread and butter?

That doesn't mean one won't have to initially go on a diet, but diets don't conquer gluttony. They tend to exacerbate it.

All I'm saying is, don't think you have avoided sin by looking away. I'm not saying burn holes in the gal's dress with laser beams out of your eyes, just understand that there is more to conquering lust than bodily exercise.

 

[5 point Gillinist]

I'm not talking about voyeurism.

I'm just talking about going day to day, and seeing a beautiful woman, and thinking that because one has looked away, that he has avoided sin or temptation.

Maybe a better example of what I'm talking about could be the tendency to over eat. Diets tend to make one focus more on food and his appetite than he would normally. Wouldn't it be better to just not have the strong desire for food, than to have to purge one's home of meat and potatoes and bread and butter?

That doesn't mean one won't have to initially go on a diet, but diets don't conquer gluttony. They tend to exacerbate it.

All I'm saying is, don't think you have avoided sin by looking away. I'm not saying burn holes in the gal's dress with laser beams out of your eyes, just understand that there is more to conquering lust than bodily exercise.

Sure the outward act isn't always indicative of a changed heart, that is certainly true. What I'm saying is if I turn away from a woman, I'm not doing it so that others see how righteous I am (many likely won't even notice), nor am I doing it because I think it saves me, or out of religious obligation. I'm doing it because I want to honor God, as well as my wife, and if I know that when I look I will possibly be tempted by my own sinful flesh to dwell upon said woman, I want to turn away and make no provision for my flesh.
I think Job 31:1, and Proverbs 7 set a precedent for this.