When Pastors fall?

Cats

I have designed a new skeet range, called "cat skeet." It sounds like this:

"Pull!" "MEEEEOWWWWRL!!" "Pow!" "Good Shot!":laugh: :laugh:

 

Actually, I just hate cats. All dogs go to heaven (except Dingoes), and all cats... well, you get the picture.

 

ROFL... :laugh: :wavey:

 

back on point

To the pastor who started this thread.

Get some serious counseling before you venture out into a new church ministry.

 

Internet Best of Both Worlds!

~ Dear Brother in Christ, :wavey:

Well, I am sorry to say that you have now discovered what so many others have already discovered-- the Internet can be used for either BAD or GOOD. :type: For example:

1. It can be a helpful resource for illustrations, stories, outline ideas, OR it can be a place some pastors go to literally "pull off Instant Sermons" to avoid personal study and avoid hours of necessary, intense, study, etc., to prepare weekly sermons.

2. It can be a place to go and find necessary photos and information of a topic you need OR it can be a place where pastors go to to view pornographic photos and/or videos.

3. It can be a place where people simply go to have innocent fun, communicate, and 'shoot the bull' in a legitimate message board (like this 'Baptist Board') OR it can be a palace pastors go to try and arrange a sinful meeting with someone they should NOT be with that could eventually lead to some sort of sinful one-time liason and/or relationship. :tear:

4. It can be a place where people go to share necessary and important messages with others via an E-mail OR it can be a place where pastors go and vent, share angry messages, and say things to church members or others they woud never say in person and/or if it were not for the seemingly innocent venue known as the WWW (but it is not innocnet!)

~~ So,do you get my drift and understand what I am trying to say here? Like most things in life, the 'WWW and Internet' can either be used for GOOD or BAD. Only you and God know your true intentions with the Yahoo message(s) you posted. Whether resigning was necessary or not, I do not know. Did you or the church jumop the gun and react too soon? I do not know. Even though I do not know you, I want to believe the best in you as a fellow pastor. But, since I do not know you or the situation, I do not know the REAL TRUTH, right?

~ If you fail to tell other churches and Search Committees about it, I am convinced they will find out sooner or later. And if they find out after you start pastoring, then what? Would they fire you for failing to disclose it? Woukd they assume you kept it from them due to you being guilty? So, as you can see, it is not an easy question, but one that will require a lot of prayer and one that truly needs to be done according to God's ultimate will in mind.

I think we can all learn a lesson here -- NEVER post items on the Internet that we have any questions about at all! "When n doubt, leave it out!" When something is posted to the WWW, it is there for life! For the most part, it cannot be removed, changed, or taken back. So, use God given common sense, ask yourself, "What consequences might this have? for mr or others" AsK: "What woud Jesus want me to do? WWJD" "IS there anything about this post that even hints of being wrong, sinful, or could be taken wrong?"

God Bless,
Lee

 

Brother,
I would be wary of seeking any advice on an open forum. I would hope that you are getting more counsel than just your wife and the members of BB. A man who has pastored and then resigned under a cloud of guilt or suspicsion of guilt needs to seek advice and be under the control, leadership and mentorship of another, whetehr a trusted friend and/or pastor .

I don't pretend to know your story other than what you write but I do wonder what you don't write. Like how did you get found? By using your name or did someone stumble across your picture? Did your profile list you differently than what you really are? Did you list that you were happily married and a pastor? It seems that there is more issues or questions than you simply implied...so I would reply that you should stay out of the ministry until your heart is right and your spirit is one wanting and willing to serve God's people. Then and only then God will open the doors of service to you and He will confirm this decision to serve Him again as a pastor. Any questions or doubts now may just be God's sign that you are not ready and should not serve in the capacity as a pastor.

 

Because no one here will know the truth (if it is different than what he says or did say). We all know of people who go "opinion shopping." They need advice, and so they start asking people and they will keep asking until someone tells them what they want to hear.

Here is the bottom line. The primary qualification for pastor is "blameless." Based on what has been said here, it sounds like this man is not blameless. Even if it was completely innocent, it looks bad, very bad. And it has now brought reproach on the name of Christ and the testimony of the church.

 

No it doesn't make sense, but it happens!

Kinda like a certain pastor who moved and resigned after an affair, then got involved with a married woman here on the BB, and the woman continued posting here and in another place giving out advice and such until I busted her...

And the guy profusely thanked me because he had come SO CLOSE to having it get worse than it was...yet instead of quitting, he simply continued and tried to hide it. Not knowing that it was still obvious that when both he and her hid their profiles but still came on at the same time, they were still speaking! In fact, some seem to use such types of threads so women will pm them and be friends and try to "help" them, and they end up with yet another affair.

People are weird. And they lie. And they try to assuage their guilt.

Not saying THIS GUY on THIS THREAD is doing so, just saying that SOME GUYS would do that, and some so called ladies.

Make sense? Nope. Does it happen though? Yep.

Should we call them on it when we see it? Yep.

I know I do when I find out. Does it help. Usually not. The person moves on to another site and does the same thing, even if they act grateful that you found them out.

 

I know terrible things happen in these situations. I have heard all the stories...

But goodness, we had better be awful careful of calling someone guilty just from a couple posts on the BB.

 

I don't think anyone here has called him guilty of anything sinister. By his own story, he is at the very least guilty of being unwise. He has brought reproach on the church through this unwise choice, and it has led to his resignation from his place of service.

But you asked Why someone might do this. And I and Gina offered a suggestion. I am not accusing ParsonBob of that motive or desire.

I am confident that he needs to step aside for a while. It doesn't sound like he is blameless right now. In time, he can regain that. But once the shadow has come, it is hard to remove.

Blamelessness is not about being free from sin. If it were, no one would be qualified except Jesus. Blamelessness is about our testimony, our pattern of life. Too many, like David, have given great occasion to the enemies of God to blaspheme. Their character is questionable. And therefore, they are unqualified. Again, I am not saying that Bob has bad character. I am simply commenting on his own story that he did something that was at the very least, unwise. And the confirmation is that other people in the church had an issue with it. It gave opportunity for a snag in someone's life.

 

PasonBob

You repented from what? We usually repent from our sin.

Personally, as a single minister - I have serious enough problems with Yahoo personals, that I would not post on it looking for a prospective friend or wife.

Yes, I want to take your post at face value. But, I really don't get it. You are emotionally involved in whatever happened enough to cry in public (I think you meant before the church).

I am writing quickly and have to go - but, I believe that you need some time serving under the guidance of a mature (married) pastor . . . to include biblical counseling and accountability.

I will be praying for you and your family and your former church - I cannot imagine the pain they have gone through.

Wayne

 

I can only offer advice based on the information you have provided, so here goes. I was fired a year ago from a church for no reason that makes sense. The pastor didn't like me (I was the youth pastor), there were some things I disagreed with and he didn't like that, and he had some plans for the near future that I would not have supported, so I was gone. Lots of rumors got spread and it has been very hard to forgive my former pastor, understand the reaction of the church members, and talk with search teams about it. However, God did lead me to a new place, a new church, and a new ministry (sr. pastor), so I can offer advice with some bit of hindsight.

1) Find some godly men to pray with you. God put men in my path during the first week after I was fired and it made all the difference in the world for me. These men continued to pray with me, for me, and encourage me. Plus they all stood as references for me to search teams.

2) Seek what God will teach you here. Wether you have made an innocent mistake or are guilty of something worse, ask the Lord to search your heart. In my case, I maintiain that I was innocent and should not have been fired. However, the Lord revealed many things to me and I can hardly understand why I was there to begin with now. You can grow a lot during this time.

3) Put the past in the past. The people may come to understand or they may not. For me, most have bought the lies of the pastor. A few saw the truth and a few leaders have even apologized. In my foolishness, I tried to confront the pastor a couple of times and this did not lead to anything productive. Put all your hurt on the cross and walk away.

4) Be open and honest about your experiences in the future. Lord willing, you will grow during this time and it will be a great testimony. It will be hard. People may not trust you. That's just the way it is. I have had many search teams tell me that they did not believe my side of things. Interestingly enough, the church I am at now, never asked. They looked into all my references, they asked all the right questions, but they never asked about why I left the church. I finally asked the chairman (deacon chairman) and he said, "God won't give me a peace to ask, so I don't want to know."

Grace and Peace and Mercy to you!

 

We had a similar experience as Lagardo. Absolutely no immorality or anything deserving of having to leave. But we were still up front with the next committee, (ya know ya get branded for life) and it was as if God picked us up from there and landed us here.

He has a way of working things together for His glory.

I would definietly be up front with a committee. They will find out and it will look even shadier then.

 

How does that not make sense to you? Whether you were right or the pastor was right, the reason you got fired as given here make perfect sense.

 

I'm sorry, I was not very clear. The reasons I gave are reasons I have come up with since then, and yes, they make sense. I could tell you lots more and you'd see that ultimately I should not have been there in the first place and being fired (which was incredibly difficult at the time) was the grace of God.

However, at the time I was fired, no reason that made any sense was given.

 

I thought it was just me that felt this way so I remained quite for a change. It is hard leading a ministry when the ministers oppose your direction. For every step you move the Church forward, the move it two steps back or two steps in another direction. I think we should all fellowship with a Pastor we can follow.

 

This is one example of why people have a hard time discussing bad church experiences...people jump to conclusions. Granted, I haven't offered details, but this hardly had anything to do with ministry direction.

Where I agree with your statement that we should all be in fellowship with a pastor we can follow, I don't think we should follow a pastor who is dishonest.

 

I really did not want to focus on the bad experience, but rather on the amazing work of God in my life since then...thus the advice.

If you want details on what happened in my case, feel free to PM me and I can tell you.

People always have suspicions anytime someone has been fired from a ministry position. What did they do? Who was at fault? Were they really a victim or did they do something and they won't admit it?

It used to worry me that churches wouldn't believe me. Some didn't, one didn't care (or more felt that God had said it wasn't an issue.) Its all in God's hands. As time goes on, the truth becomes clearer and clearer anyway.