Why Are Calvinists So Mean? - JARED C. WILSON

[JonC]

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part;
10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.
11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.
13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:1–13

 

[Aaron]

Why are noncalvinists pansies?

 

[kyredneck]

Why are noncalvinists pansies?

Thin skinned, delicate, have no business being on a debate forum if they’re so easily offended…

 

[JonC]

Thin skinned, delicate, have no business being on a debate forum if they’re so easily offended…

So many Christians are both too easily offended and too eager to offend.

 

[rockytopva]

I heard a black radio preacher preaching very fervently. And then he pauses! And, says with a downcast voice as if shaking his head... "Some people have the strangest love!"

 

[rockytopva]

Why are noncalvinists pansies?

I don't believe John Wesley willed the denomination and the UMC was the offspring of Asbury. Here in a letter to Francis Asbury he chastises Asbury for such activity and reminded us that we are not out for the Calvinist like control and domination....

LONDON
September 20, 1788

My Dear Brother:

There is, indeed, a wide difference between the relation wherein you stand to the Americans and the relation wherein I stand to all the Methodists. You are the elder brother of the American Methodists: I am under God the father of the whole family. Therefore I naturally care for you all in a manner no other persons can do. Therefore I in a measure provide for you all; for the supplies which Dr. Coke provides for you, he could not provide were it not for me, were it not that I not only permit him to collect but also support him in so doing.

But in one point, my dear brother, I am a little afraid both the Doctor and you differ from me. I study to be little: you study to be great. I creep; you strut along. I found a school: you a college! [Cokesbury College] nay, and call it after your own names! 0 beware, do not seek to be something! Let me be nothing, and "Christ be all in all!"

One instance of this, of your greatness, has given me great concern. How can you, how dare you suffer yourself to be called Bishop? I shudder, I start at the very thought! Men may call me a knave or a fool, a rascal, a scoundrel, and I am content; but they shall never by my consent call me Bishop! For my sake, for God's sake, for Christ's sake put a full end to this! Let the Presbyterians do what they please, but let the Methodists know their calling better.

Thus, my dear Franky, I have told you all that is in my heart. And let this, when I am no more seen, bear witness how sincerely I am Your affectionate friend and brother,

John Wesley

 

[agedman]

Why are noncalvinists pansies?

Or so wearisome by tripping over their own inconsistencies and becoming irrational.

But, I have also seen (in all fairness) Calvinistic thinking that is flush with hypocrisy and malevolence.

 

[DaveXR650]

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part;
10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.
11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.
13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

This can't possibly be right. It's not one of the 9 Marks of a healthy church.

 

[Salty]

Why are Calvinists so mean?

They live next door to Dennis the Menace!

 

[George Antonios]

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
— Galatians 5:22-23

The stereotype of the mean Calvinist exists for a reason. There’s a reason, after all, that clichés become clichés. If you spend any time in evangelical social media or have a more traveled experience in evangelical churches, you’ve been on the receiving end of a mean Calvinist before. If you’re like me, you’ve wondered at some point, “Why do those who subscribe to the doctrines of grace frequently seem so graceless? Is there something in particular about Calvinism that makes people mean?”

To that latter question, many have said yes. They do believe the essential tenets of Reformed theology lend themselves to coldness and harshness. I don’t think that’s true. And of course you may say that’s because I’m a Calvinist! And I am, so you may be right. But I’ve known far too many gracious, kind, Spirit-filled Calvinists to think there’s something in the doctrines that necessitates meanness. But there may be something in the culture or the application that lends itself more readily to unkind treatment of others. Below some thoughts on why too many Calvinists seem so mean. But first, some caveats*:

1. I know Calvinism refers to a broader system of historically Reformed theology, but I am using it here in the modern shorthand way of referring to anybody who subscribes to Reformed soteriology. And as I confirmed a moment ago, I put myself in that camp. So if you’re tempted to think I’m just into this for Calvinist bashing, please understand that these calls are coming from inside the house. In fact, I have been either guilty of or tempted to each of the problems listed below myself. All of us who own the label ought to own the baggage and watch ourselves.

2. I am differentiating mean Calvinism from “cage stage” Calvinism. If you’re not familiar with that phrase, “cage stage” refers to those who are new to Calvinism and so zealous/passionate about their new knowledge they ought to be locked in a cage for a while until they settle down, lest they hurt somebody. A lot of people emerge from the cage stage. The mean Calvinists I’m referring to are the ones who’ve been Calvinist long enough to have outgrown the cage stage. (Also, I’m of the opinion that most people who are new subscribers to any theology tend to go through similar cage stages. I’ve met plenty of social justice cage-stagers and anti-social justice cage-stagers, “progressive evangelicalism” cage-stagers, and so on. You probably have too. In fact, some of the meanest people I’ve known in church life and online have been angry about my Calvinism.)

With the hem and the haw out of the way, here are some theories on where mean Calvinism comes from:

Why Are Calvinists So Mean?

Very well written and honestly introspective article. As a former Calvinist, I also agree with the Calvinists who have said that this is a problem common to all persuasions. Some of us behaved, and still behave, that same way, for the same reasons, regarding dispensational truth.
Moreover, sometimes there is a need to be confrontational or crusading.

That being said, there is something unusually pride-inducing about a doctrine whose core tenant is I AM SPECIAL, howsoever much one then tries to look humble by blaming the grace of God.

 

[DaveXR650]

That being said, there is something unusually pride-inducing about a doctrine whose core tenant is I AM SPECIAL, howsoever much one then tries to look humble by blaming the grace of God.

As you well know, being a former Calvinist, this is very true. And those who were arrogant as Calvinists remain so when they move on to the next thing they are sure of. I don't know how many times I heard non Calvinists say "Well at least I had sense enough to believe!". We're all in the same boat there, brother.

 

[George Antonios]

I don't know how many times I heard non Calvinists say "Well at least I had sense enough to believe!"

I doubt you have heard it so expressed so "many times".
Be that as it may, Calvinists hold the false notion that just because a doctrine can in any way open a way to pride, then the doctrine must be wrong. But that is a foolish position to so adopt. Every doctrine, especially Calvinism, has a built-in loophole for pride. Our flesh will always find a way to boast, whether:
"At least I believed"
or
"I'm a special elect person for deep and mysterious reasons".
However, between the - albeit misplaced - boast of a beggar that he had sense enough to receive a free gift, and a man who boasts he was preselected in eternity past WHILE STILL OUTSIDE OF CHRIST because he is special in some inscrutable sense, and who simultaneously flashes his oh-so-great humility, I am certain, knowing the God of the Bible that I know, that the latter is a far great stink in his nostrils than the former. Thankfully, unlike men, the Lord is not manipulated by affected humility.

 

[DaveXR650]

George, you make my point for me. A little self deprecating humor would benefit us all once in a while. Besides that, get your stuff straight. The whole point of the "U" like it or not, is that there is NOTHING special about anyone who is elect. That's what it means. You are correct that pride is very common in all of us. I would leave it at that and everything is fine. That's my point.

 

[Chili1955]

I personally have not met or know a mean or arrogant Calvinist. The ones I know are godly and kind.
When people get saved they have a new nature and want to do the right thing. However if they are immature they are still immature after they get saved. In time with godly help they mature and their behavior gets better. We must be gracious to all.

I have met mean and arrogant IFB pastors who don't have the spirit of Christ. That's why I won't set foot in an IFB Church
To be fair, I am talking about Southern not Northern IFB

 

[JonC]

I personally have not met or know a mean or arrogant Calvinist. The ones I know are godly and kind.
When people get saved they have a new nature and want to do the right thing. However if they are immature they are still immature after they get saved. In time with godly help they mature and their behavior gets better. We must be gracious to all.

I have met mean and arrogant IFB pastors who don't have the spirit of Christ. That's why I won't set foot in an IFB Church
To be fair, I am talking about Southern not Northern IFB

I have never met a mean and arrogant Calvinist in person. Mostly I have encountered them on forums (like this) and seen them on sermon videos or other media. They are not representative of the whole and I can't say that they wouldn't be different in person. But anonymity sometimes shows us how the person really is.

I have not met a mean or arrogant IFB pastor, but I have met some who are legalistic. This is why I also will not visit an IFB church (unless God leads me to such a church, then I'll have to eat those words).

I think you are right about maturity being the issue.

 

[canadyjd]

Calvinist give the truth revealed in God’s Word. Some call that being “mean”. It is mostly a caricature designed to shut people up.

Those that disagree with Calvinism rarely argue the facts of scripture, since the doctrines of grace are firmly founded on scripture, so they use personal attacks, like calling Calvinists mean, arrogant, unloving, philosophers etc.

peace to you

 

[Revmitchell]

Calvinist give the truth revealed in God’s Word. Some call that being “mean”. It is mostly a caricature designed to shut people up.

Those that disagree with Calvinism rarely argue the facts of scripture, since the doctrines of grace are firmly founded on scripture, so they use personal attacks, like calling Calvinists mean, arrogant, unloving, philosophers etc.

peace to you

Do you understand the op was written by a reformed individual and posted on a reformed site?

 

[Reformed]

I notice that the Gospel Coalition, like them or not, tend to be on the edge of "what's happenin' now". When they sense a change coming they begin by systematically deconstructing what was previous and then explaining to all of us how we need to change - usually by buying some book. New Calvinism has been destroyed as a movement by the wokeness and the political mission that some of the leaders had - to split up the Christian conservative vote. Also, Tim Keller, one of the founders is old and gravely ill, and Piper is retired and old and his church is mixed up in a woke war of some kind. I say this in response to your post, Rev, not in any way to disagree but just to point out that there is indeed significance in the pattern of articles you see, but maybe from a different direction. I think the Gospel Coalition is ready to move on into something beyond a focus on Calvinism. Just my opinion.

What you wrote is true. In the circles I travel in the Gospel Coalition is not highly thought of for many of the reasons stated. As I get older the less impressed I become with groups outside the local church. I was an enthusiastic participant in Promise Keepers back in the 1990s until I realized how the organization embraced all sorts of nonsense and silliness. So, an article from a Gospel Coalition member is not a ringing endorsement in my book.

THAT SAID, I think this thread serves a useful purpose. We should look at our behavior. We should examine ourselves. Paul tells us to examine ourselves in 2 Corinthians 13:5. Peter commands us to be holy in all our behavior (1 Peter 1:15). If someone points out to us our fault regarding our behavior, we should look beyond their motive and take a sober look at ourselves. Is our behavior sinful? Are we mean spirited? Are we easy to take offense? If the shoe fits... Is this unique to Calvinists? Of course not. One only has to scan the C&A forum to see the threads started by some prolific anti-Calvinists to know that no one has the corner on bad behavior. But even here we need to take care. We need to have our house in order before we deflect to someone else.

So, I am thankful for Rev starting this thread. It is a helpful reminder to act like a child of the King in all areas of my life.

 

[JonC]

Calvinist give the truth revealed in God’s Word. Some call that being “mean”. It is mostly a caricature designed to shut people up.

Those that disagree with Calvinism rarely argue the facts of scripture, since the doctrines of grace are firmly founded on scripture, so they use personal attacks, like calling Calvinists mean, arrogant, unloving, philosophers etc.

peace to you

I think it is how some give what they believe is true.

Some, like John Piper, D.A. Carson, and Tim Keller explain their understanding without judging the "servants of Another".

Others hold their understanding arrogantly and combat any who hold a different understanding.

This attitude is not restricted to Calvinists. Sometimes even the most well meaning Christian leans on his or her understanding and expects others to submit, not to God's Word but to what they believe Scripture teaches.

 

[canadyjd]

Do you understand the op was written by a reformed individual and posted on a reformed site?

No, does that matter in some way?

peace to you