Why are many young people leaving the church?

[12strings]

.........................................oh, never mind

[deleted post]

Sorry you deleted this post. I'd be interested to read your thoughts on the matter. Feel free to pm me if you think they would be unhelpful on the public forum.

My post was not meant as an attack on those who don't marry, rather as a general observation citing one specific study and its conclusions about this question.

 

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

There are essentially five reasons millennials aren't in church. They really are very simple, and they are extremely difficult to overcome.

1. The local church isn't diverse. Millennials are the most diverse generation in history. Over 40% of the 21-30 age group is non-white. They want their friends, their work and their church to reflect that as well.
2. You aren't trustworthy. At least in their eyes. According to a Pew Research study on the Millennial Generation published in February 2010, two-thirds of millennials says "you can't be too careful" with people. Only 19% believe most people are trustworthy. They trust the Internet and technology more than people. Which leads to the next reason.
3. Your church isn't online. Not to the extent the Millennials are, at any rate. Sure you've got a website. So what? Millennials don't remember a time there wasn't an internet, a cell phone, or a computer. They grew up using SmartPhones. Seventy-five percent of them connect to friends and coworkers via social media, and as many as one-third of those friends are "Internet-only" friends -- they've never met them in person. This, also, according to the Pew Research study.
   [*]The local church is too inwardly focused. Millennials see the church as unwilling to provide for those outside its doors. The Millennial Impact Research Study of 2013 shows that over 80% of Millennials gave to a charitable organization in 2012. Their biggest frustration about the church? They don't know how the church uses the money they might give to it. They want to be involved in what Pew calls "the larger cause" and they don't see the local church doing that.
4. Institutions scare them. Millennials run from institutions. It goes back to trust. They have little trust for anything or anyone. Over half describe themselves as independent politically, only a quarter of them are married, 70% are "unaffiliated" religiously, and most of them don't even follow a sports team but prefer to cheer for an individual player, and nearly one-third don't even follow traditional sports but are fans of "X Games" and other individual-effort competitions. They can learn to trust those institutions, but likely won't unless given a reason.

The irony is that what most adults over 35 consider "community" doesn't fit the definition a Millennial has for the word. To the older adults, "community" is where you're at, the people you see and talk to regularly in person. To the Millennial, the world is "community." They can have a friend in China that they talk to every day, even though they've never met and likely never will. The Body of Christ can be just as spread out and worldwide as they want it to be.

The answer to getting Millennials into church is to have Millennial church leadership. That probably scares a lot of "old fogeys" in the church, but they're going to have to get over it if they don't want to see their church curl up and die slowly over the next 25-30 years.

People decry the technology used in church services today, whine that they want the old hymns and the old instruments, and they don't want the videos and the Wi-Fi connections in the sanctuary.

Fine. Don't have them. But, don't expect young people to show up for your services to hear the Gospel, either.

 

[Scarlett O.]

Sorry you deleted this post. I'd be interested to read your thoughts on the matter. Feel free to pm me if you think they would be unhelpful on the public forum.

My post was not meant as an attack on those who don't marry, rather as a general observation citing one specific study and its conclusions about this question.

12strings, I think one could find studies out there as to why some married men won't come to church with their wives and children. There are a lot of them. I'm sure the reasons are varied, but Christians tend to make rash conclusions about these men - I've seen it.

One could also find studies as to why some children are driven to the church parking lot by their parents, usually the mother, and just dropped off with nary a glance. There are a lot of children whose parents, usually the mother, won't come to church with them. What conclusions can we draw about them without actually asking them?

I just felt like the author of the study you looked at drew some conclusions too rashly and harshly. He said these single people don't come to church because they marry later in life or aren't getting married at all and he called them "adultolescent" - implying they are just immature, swinging from the rafters, and to self-absorbed to care about the church. That's what I understood the word to mean.

AS a older single person who counsels younger single people both on and off the internet, let me tell you the truth.

They aren't NOT coming because they are all out there having a big ol' party.

Many of them aren't coming because they are ashamed, broken, wounded, and feel like a fifth wheel in the church. My own church disbanded the single's Sunday School class 20 years as did another very large church nearby because they just don't know "what to do with us".

Testimony: I am currently dealing with a 26-year-old woman at my church who attends my now eclectic Sunday School class. Her name is Virginia. She has never married. She texts me and calls me a good bit to ask me questions about life and being single and the hardships it brings with it. She doesn't have a mother. She yearns for a Christian husband and family. The problem? She looks very masculine. Putting her in a dress would make her look absolutely ridiculous. She was a bridesmaid in a wedding recently and some people mocked her and laughed. When we had our church directory made and I stopped by the church office one day - one of the administrators was laughing at her picture and showing everyone. She DID stop coming to church for a while. Why? Because the leadership of the church told her that she could no longer accompany the adult team of youth workers when they went on mission trips with the youth because she "wasn't a good feminine role model". She has come back to church and is slowly shedding the poor self-image that she has enshrouded herself with for years.

If anyone is reading this, PLEASE pray for Virginia. I know that God could provide her with a wonderful husband. She is not ugly. She just doesn't have a 100% feminine look. She does NOT have the gift of singleness. She prays for a husband almost daily. The service to God that she does behind the scenes because of the tenderness of her heart would SHOCK the church leadership.

I guess in a nutshell, I reacted to the study you posted the way that I did is because ALL I see is the other side of the coin.

 

[Scarlett O.]

There are essentially five reasons millennials aren't in church...............

This was a very good post.

Not easy words to digest, but it was the truth.

 

[evangelist6589]

There are essentially five reasons millennials aren't in church. They really are very simple, and they are extremely difficult to overcome.

1. The local church isn't diverse. Millennials are the most diverse generation in history. Over 40% of the 21-30 age group is non-white. They want their friends, their work and their church to reflect that as well.
2. You aren't trustworthy. At least in their eyes. According to a Pew Research study on the Millennial Generation published in February 2010, two-thirds of millennials says "you can't be too careful" with people. Only 19% believe most people are trustworthy. They trust the Internet and technology more than people. Which leads to the next reason.
3. Your church isn't online. Not to the extent the Millennials are, at any rate. Sure you've got a website. So what? Millennials don't remember a time there wasn't an internet, a cell phone, or a computer. They grew up using SmartPhones. Seventy-five percent of them connect to friends and coworkers via social media, and as many as one-third of those friends are "Internet-only" friends -- they've never met them in person. This, also, according to the Pew Research study.
   [*]The local church is too inwardly focused. Millennials see the church as unwilling to provide for those outside its doors. The Millennial Impact Research Study of 2013 shows that over 80% of Millennials gave to a charitable organization in 2012. Their biggest frustration about the church? They don't know how the church uses the money they might give to it. They want to be involved in what Pew calls "the larger cause" and they don't see the local church doing that.
4. Institutions scare them. Millennials run from institutions. It goes back to trust. They have little trust for anything or anyone. Over half describe themselves as independent politically, only a quarter of them are married, 70% are "unaffiliated" religiously, and most of them don't even follow a sports team but prefer to cheer for an individual player, and nearly one-third don't even follow traditional sports but are fans of "X Games" and other individual-effort competitions. They can learn to trust those institutions, but likely won't unless given a reason.

The irony is that what most adults over 35 consider "community" doesn't fit the definition a Millennial has for the word. To the older adults, "community" is where you're at, the people you see and talk to regularly in person. To the Millennial, the world is "community." They can have a friend in China that they talk to every day, even though they've never met and likely never will. The Body of Christ can be just as spread out and worldwide as they want it to be.

The answer to getting Millennials into church is to have Millennial church leadership. That probably scares a lot of "old fogeys" in the church, but they're going to have to get over it if they don't want to see their church curl up and die slowly over the next 25-30 years.

People decry the technology used in church services today, whine that they want the old hymns and the old instruments, and they don't want the videos and the Wi-Fi connections in the sanctuary.

Fine. Don't have them. But, don't expect young people to show up for your services to hear the Gospel, either.

While this may be accurate it goes to show the times that we live in. This age group I have also noticed does not like carrying bibles to church nor reading books but seems to do everything online or on a phone/tablet device. This begins to scare me.. Well I try and reach as many of them as I can on the streets and know that God will bring forth his elect with or without my help as RC SPROUL said the other day. The elect has been chosen and God may choose to use me or he may not.

 

[Don]

....Many of them aren't coming because they are ashamed, broken, wounded, and feel like a fifth wheel in the church. My own church disbanded the single's Sunday School class 20 years as did another very large church nearby because they just don't know "what to do with us".

Was talking to my pastor about this kind of subject last week. Our church seems to have a preponderance of people who have had drug problems, jail/prison problems, family problems, etc., etc. One of our teens told us that he comes to our church instead of the one down the road (same denomination) because over there, he feels like they're always judging him. Which probably holds true for the others I mentioned, and why they tend to congregate with us.

(I really like my pastor!)

....If anyone is reading this, PLEASE pray for Virginia. I know that God could provide her with a wonderful husband. She is not ugly. She just doesn't have a 100% feminine look. She does NOT have the gift of singleness. She prays for a husband almost daily. The service to God that she does behind the scenes because of the tenderness of her heart would SHOCK the church leadership.

Praying.

 

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

While this may be accurate it goes to show the times that we live in. This age group I have also noticed does not like carrying bibles to church nor reading books but seems to do everything online or on a phone/tablet device. This begins to scare me..

Is the word of God on an iPhone or a tablet any less the word of God than it is on the printed page of an NASB or KJV Bible? If find it odd that anyone would think it is.

I suspect what is "scary" for most who hold to that view is that they are afraid of the devices because they are not comfortable using them. I used to carry a pocket NASB, but I've got it on Tecarta's NASB Bible app now, and I love it.

It's time for Christians and their church to move into the 21st century.

 

[Don]

While this may be accurate it goes to show the times that we live in. This age group I have also noticed does not like carrying bibles to church nor reading books but seems to do everything online or on a phone/tablet device. This begins to scare me..

Don't know why it scares you.

When I first started working with our teen group, NONE of them brought a bible to class, in any shape or form. I asked them to show me which of them had a cell phone with them; they ALL did. I asked them why they didn't have a bible program on their cell phone.

Now, whether it's Sunday School, church camp, or wherever, if I ask one of them to read a verse for the group, they pull their cell phone out and pull up the verse. I'm proud of them; I didn't force them to download/install bible programs, they just realized they didn't have an excuse and did it.

Our newest teen convert, who was a self-professed atheist? He's a computer geek. I introduced him to a particular bible program; he's already teaching me how to use it. In other words, it's also encouraging people to get into the Word.

What do y'all think things were like 400 years ago, when printing presses were just getting started?

People have adapted to use what's available to them. This isn't scary; it's necessary. The goal is to get the Word to the people; deciding that electronic bibles aren't as good as printed ones, is almost like saying the KJV is the only translation anyone should use.

 

[Don]

By the way, evangelist; sent you a private message. Would you let me know if you got it?

 

[Revmitchell]

There are essentially five reasons millennials aren't in church. They really are very simple, and they are extremely difficult to overcome.

1. The local church isn't diverse. Millennials are the most diverse generation in history. Over 40% of the 21-30 age group is non-white. They want their friends, their work and their church to reflect that as well.
2. You aren't trustworthy. At least in their eyes. According to a Pew Research study on the Millennial Generation published in February 2010, two-thirds of millennials says "you can't be too careful" with people. Only 19% believe most people are trustworthy. They trust the Internet and technology more than people. Which leads to the next reason.
3. Your church isn't online. Not to the extent the Millennials are, at any rate. Sure you've got a website. So what? Millennials don't remember a time there wasn't an internet, a cell phone, or a computer. They grew up using SmartPhones. Seventy-five percent of them connect to friends and coworkers via social media, and as many as one-third of those friends are "Internet-only" friends -- they've never met them in person. This, also, according to the Pew Research study.
   [*]The local church is too inwardly focused. Millennials see the church as unwilling to provide for those outside its doors. The Millennial Impact Research Study of 2013 shows that over 80% of Millennials gave to a charitable organization in 2012. Their biggest frustration about the church? They don't know how the church uses the money they might give to it. They want to be involved in what Pew calls "the larger cause" and they don't see the local church doing that.
4. Institutions scare them. Millennials run from institutions. It goes back to trust. They have little trust for anything or anyone. Over half describe themselves as independent politically, only a quarter of them are married, 70% are "unaffiliated" religiously, and most of them don't even follow a sports team but prefer to cheer for an individual player, and nearly one-third don't even follow traditional sports but are fans of "X Games" and other individual-effort competitions. They can learn to trust those institutions, but likely won't unless given a reason.

The irony is that what most adults over 35 consider "community" doesn't fit the definition a Millennial has for the word. To the older adults, "community" is where you're at, the people you see and talk to regularly in person. To the Millennial, the world is "community." They can have a friend in China that they talk to every day, even though they've never met and likely never will. The Body of Christ can be just as spread out and worldwide as they want it to be.

The answer to getting Millennials into church is to have Millennial church leadership. That probably scares a lot of "old fogeys" in the church, but they're going to have to get over it if they don't want to see their church curl up and die slowly over the next 25-30 years.

People decry the technology used in church services today, whine that they want the old hymns and the old instruments, and they don't want the videos and the Wi-Fi connections in the sanctuary.

Fine. Don't have them. But, don't expect young people to show up for your services to hear the Gospel, either.

I don't bleive any of those are the issue. For one it is not what I find when I talk with them and also it sound more like an agenda.

Fact is church is just not a priority for a lot of people.

 

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

I don't bleive any of those are the issue. For one it is not what I find when I talk with them and also it sound more like an agenda.

They won't express these issues themselves. Remember thinking your parents were "weird" or "out of step" when you were young? I do. It wasn't until I was in my 40s that I began to realize they weren't weird in the context of their upbringing, but they were different within the context of my own upbringing.

Millennials aren't any more aware of how different they are from previous generations than anyone of us is aware until much later in life how different we are from our parents' and grandparents' generation. It isn't an "agenda." It is an analysis of how they live. Most people don't go around considering the whys and wherefores of their behaviors, lifestyles and habits. They only bother to consider them in context of the world around them.

Fact is church is just not a priority for a lot of people.

It won't be, either, until they become convinced of the Gospel truth. As long as the church doesn't react to their differing way of living and doing, they won't get the Gospel truth effectively. Not from the church, anyway.

 

[12strings]

12strings, I think one could find studies out there as to why some married men won't come to church with their wives and children. There are a lot of them. I'm sure the reasons are varied, but Christians tend to make rash conclusions about these men - I've seen it.

One could also find studies as to why some children are driven to the church parking lot by their parents, usually the mother, and just dropped off with nary a glance. There are a lot of children whose parents, usually the mother, won't come to church with them. What conclusions can we draw about them without actually asking them?

I just felt like the author of the study you looked at drew some conclusions too rashly and harshly. He said these single people don't come to church because they marry later in life or aren't getting married at all and he called them "adultolescent" - implying they are just immature, swinging from the rafters, and to self-absorbed to care about the church. That's what I understood the word to mean.

AS a older single person who counsels younger single people both on and off the internet, let me tell you the truth.

They aren't NOT coming because they are all out there having a big ol' party.

Many of them aren't coming because they are ashamed, broken, wounded, and feel like a fifth wheel in the church. My own church disbanded the single's Sunday School class 20 years as did another very large church nearby because they just don't know "what to do with us".

Testimony: I am currently dealing with a 26-year-old woman at my church who attends my now eclectic Sunday School class. Her name is Virginia. She has never married. She texts me and calls me a good bit to ask me questions about life and being single and the hardships it brings with it. She doesn't have a mother. She yearns for a Christian husband and family. The problem? She looks very masculine. Putting her in a dress would make her look absolutely ridiculous. She was a bridesmaid in a wedding recently and some people mocked her and laughed. When we had our church directory made and I stopped by the church office one day - one of the administrators was laughing at her picture and showing everyone. She DID stop coming to church for a while. Why? Because the leadership of the church told her that she could no longer accompany the adult team of youth workers when they went on mission trips with the youth because she "wasn't a good feminine role model". She has come back to church and is slowly shedding the poor self-image that she has enshrouded herself with for years.

If anyone is reading this, PLEASE pray for Virginia. I know that God could provide her with a wonderful husband. She is not ugly. She just doesn't have a 100% feminine look. She does NOT have the gift of singleness. She prays for a husband almost daily. The service to God that she does behind the scenes because of the tenderness of her heart would SHOCK the church leadership.

I guess in a nutshell, I reacted to the study you posted the way that I did is because ALL I see is the other side of the coin.

Thanks for responding, I think this thread is better for it.

I seems it is all about community. Older widows have a group of friends in the church. Medium aged divorcees and singles do as well n our church. For a young single to feel at home in a church, they need the same, both in their peer group, and in the church as a whole, which needs to learn how to not make them feel left out.

I do know personally several younger women in our church who have been wanting to be married for years, but there simply aren't the godly, marraige-minded young men in our area.

However, If I may push back a little, as a man who was pretty passive relationship-wise until age 26...i Do think that in general, the delay of marraige among young people is a net negative....and I place a lot of the onus on the young men, who need to step up and tell a young woman that he wants to marry her. I've heard women say that for 10 years...I even had a high school friend who moved to Atlanta, and ended up in Louie Giglio's young singles group at northpoint with several thousand other young adults, and still complained that the men their just weren't thinking about marraige.

On the whole, and recognizing exceptions, I think this trend is not a good thing.

 

[evangelist6589]

[QU OTE=Don;2128786]By the way, evangelist; sent you a private message. Would you let me know if you got it?[/QUOTE]


I did not

 

[Don]

By the way, evangelist; sent you a private message. Would you let me know if you got it?

I did not

I re-sent it. Please let me know if you have any questions.

 

[evangelist6589]

I re-sent it. Please let me know if you have any questions.

I thought I replied to that message yesterday. Did you not get my reply? Okay my request is that you keep private info about me off this board and only sent to me via a PM. Agree?

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

There are essentially five reasons millennials aren't in church. They really are very simple, and they are extremely difficult to overcome.

1. The local church isn't diverse. Millennials are the most diverse generation in history. Over 40% of the 21-30 age group is non-white. They want their friends, their work and their church to reflect that as well.
2. You aren't trustworthy. At least in their eyes. According to a Pew Research study on the Millennial Generation published in February 2010, two-thirds of millennials says "you can't be too careful" with people. Only 19% believe most people are trustworthy. They trust the Internet and technology more than people. Which leads to the next reason.
3. Your church isn't online. Not to the extent the Millennials are, at any rate. Sure you've got a website. So what? Millennials don't remember a time there wasn't an internet, a cell phone, or a computer. They grew up using SmartPhones. Seventy-five percent of them connect to friends and coworkers via social media, and as many as one-third of those friends are "Internet-only" friends -- they've never met them in person. This, also, according to the Pew Research study.
   [*]The local church is too inwardly focused. Millennials see the church as unwilling to provide for those outside its doors. The Millennial Impact Research Study of 2013 shows that over 80% of Millennials gave to a charitable organization in 2012. Their biggest frustration about the church? They don't know how the church uses the money they might give to it. They want to be involved in what Pew calls "the larger cause" and they don't see the local church doing that.
4. Institutions scare them. Millennials run from institutions. It goes back to trust. They have little trust for anything or anyone. Over half describe themselves as independent politically, only a quarter of them are married, 70% are "unaffiliated" religiously, and most of them don't even follow a sports team but prefer to cheer for an individual player, and nearly one-third don't even follow traditional sports but are fans of "X Games" and other individual-effort competitions. They can learn to trust those institutions, but likely won't unless given a reason.

The irony is that what most adults over 35 consider "community" doesn't fit the definition a Millennial has for the word. To the older adults, "community" is where you're at, the people you see and talk to regularly in person. To the Millennial, the world is "community." They can have a friend in China that they talk to every day, even though they've never met and likely never will. The Body of Christ can be just as spread out and worldwide as they want it to be.

The answer to getting Millennials into church is to have Millennial church leadership. That probably scares a lot of "old fogeys" in the church, but they're going to have to get over it if they don't want to see their church curl up and die slowly over the next 25-30 years.

People decry the technology used in church services today, whine that they want the old hymns and the old instruments, and they don't want the videos and the Wi-Fi connections in the sanctuary.

Fine. Don't have them. But, don't expect young people to show up for your services to hear the Gospel, either.

Aye Dconn.....interesting discertation.....& I will agree with #4. The rest I believe is that they are just board with the way church is done altogether. Cant say I blame them.:thumbs:

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Is the word of God on an iPhone or a tablet any less the word of God than it is on the printed page of an NASB or KJV Bible? If find it odd that anyone would think it is.

I suspect what is "scary" for most who hold to that view is that they are afraid of the devices because they are not comfortable using them. I used to carry a pocket NASB, but I've got it on Tecarta's NASB Bible app now, and I love it.

It's time for Christians and their church to move into the 21st century.

Agreed :thumbs:

 

[Don]

I thought I replied to that message yesterday. Did you not get my reply? Okay my request is that you keep private info about me off this board and only sent to me via a PM. Agree?

Nope, didn't get a reply. In regards to your request: That's exactly what I did. I didn't put *any* private information about you on the public areas of the board. Everything I put on the public areas of this message board is publicly available on the internet. And that was exactly the point I was trying to make.

I even went so far as to explain to you exactly how I did it, so that you could do the exact same thing--on yourself or on someone else.

Of course I'll keep private info on you in a private message. But anything that's publicly accessible about you, is NOT private.

And when you share personal views on this or any other public message board, those are no longer private, either.

I shared this information to educate you and hopefully clear up some misconceptions you have about this wonderful--and extremely dangerous--tool we call "the internet." I fear from the tone of your posts that you're more scared of me than of what I'm trying to warn you about.

 

[SolaSaint]

They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they all are not of us. 1 John 2:19

 

[quantumfaith]

Nope, didn't get a reply. In regards to your request: That's exactly what I did. I didn't put *any* private information about you on the public areas of the board. Everything I put on the public areas of this message board is publicly available on the internet. And that was exactly the point I was trying to make.

I even went so far as to explain to you exactly how I did it, so that you could do the exact same thing--on yourself or on someone else.

Of course I'll keep private info on you in a private message. But anything that's publicly accessible about you, is NOT private.

And when you share personal views on this or any other public message board, those are no longer private, either.

I shared this information to educate you and hopefully clear up some misconceptions you have about this wonderful--and extremely dangerous--tool we call "the internet." I fear from the tone of your posts that you're more scared of me than of what I'm trying to warn you about.

:thumbs::thumbs::thumbs: