Why is it bad to be intimate before marriage?

blackstarling,

please take this in the kind way it is meant, but you mentioned that you would say "no" to his proposal because of the state of his faith.......if this is the case then why are you dating him at all?
If you will not marry him because it would be an unequal yoking (which the Bible commands against) then its unfair of both of you to each other to continue in a dating relationship.
Remaining friends is important, but being romantically involved is not good at this point....from what you said.

 

Soldier, A word to the wise . . .

If you think it is off limits to the discussions here - edit the post and remove it . . .

An Ol' Sergeant . . .

 

blackstarling,

I understand what you were saying, and now I see more of where you are coming from. Thanks for the explanation!

 

Simply put: the one thing that makes a marriage work is what the couple have in common spiritually. If you do not have much in common spiritually both of you will be miserable.

I would suggest that you somehow encourage him to attend a good church with you and have another man get involved with him to help him spiritually. Also ask to get into a Bible study and have a lady help you grow spiritually. You need someone you can talk with.

Ever watch an ember from a fire. It will burn brightly and hot when in or very close to the the fire but will go out apart from the fire.

My parents were not Christians and there is an incredible difference between the home I grew up in and the one I am in now. My wife was a growing Christian when I first dated her and continues to grow. My daughter became a follower of Jesus Christ several years ago. What a difference Christ makes in a home. You will never know what that is like until you experience it. It was a privilege to baptize my daughter when she told me she wanted me to baptize her. That was a great moment.

I think of life much like a straight line being the shortest distance between two points. If you deviate from that straight line and the longer you go that way then what happens to the distance from where you are to the straight line. That distance grows and it takes more effort to get back to where you should be.

 

Quite all right Army. We Marines never feel neglected, only happy when someone will talk to us. Korean War - One of the first (printable here) remarks My DI said with emphasis was "I don't speak a foreign language, so I won't have anybody to talk to if you're the one that dies".

I'm not as tough as I may sound, and not as disciplined as you may think, but I am faithful to God, my wife, and myself. Yet, I'm a fun guy, when not teaching His Word. Some of this will not be on subject, and deeper into His Word than you may have been before, and it is preaching (usually what we don't want to hear). You may wish to tuck this away until He makes you ready.

You can take any of this, or leave it as you wish, with or without comment, and some may seem harsh, but His Word does not pull punches. We are talking eternity. His Word is there for us to see and we will have no excuses when any rewards we thought we might have are thrown in that huge bon-fire. Please notice what I write is usually backed up by scripture, understood.

I see some things in you as I was, and in some still am, and many Christians take exception to this freedom we have in Christ (Galatians 2:1-10,highlight 4). You say you don't believe in OSAS, but if you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ in your heart for your salvation you are saved (immediately) forever regardless of what you may think (Ephesians 2:1-10, and on). In the "spiritual sense" you are already married to Him, not to get mixed up with our marriages (II Corinthians 11:6). Marriage is for a lifetime.

You smoke, and I smoked for 53 years, probably averaged 1 and a fourth packs daily, never had a cough or ill effect/s. Evidently some can smoke and some can't; some do and some don't. It's your own business, and the same thing goes for our drinking. Some don't go overboard, and many do. Don't stay long at the wine(Proverbs 23:29-31), which God tells us He gave to us to make "glad the heart of man"(Psalms 104:15). I believe this kind of stuff, but not drunkenness.

But we are not to flaunt our freedom and liberty in front of "babes", none here I'm sure. Evidently my smoking was moderate, as is my drinking, and when I die at a 100 there will be those that say "See, I told him".

I am not advocating you do either of the above, but notice Paul tells us to not let any one judge us in food or drink (I Corinthians 9:4; 10:31, and Colossians 2:16), for God gives all things to us, Romans 8:32. In this everlasting life God gives us, we are very careful to not "soil" ourselves(Romans 6:18-19), but we are still human and can fall away from Him, but never out, for we are Sealed in by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13-14). So many don't have faith in His Power, as they believe they can get away from Him because they sin (already forgiven), or Satan has the strength to overpower Him.

You understand more than most. You do see a "separation", and there is one, as on the foundation of Jesus Christ, there are laid two foundations. I build on the foundation laid by Paul and not Peter for the simple reason Paul is My Apostle, beings I am a Gentile - Romans 11:13, Romans 15:19-20, and I Corinthians 3:10-11. There are "two" foundations, thus "two" gospels; one house by faith, the Holy Place, and one house through faith, the Most Holy Place. They are on one foundation, which is Jesus Christ.

But today all are seen as Gentiles. We had no foundation to build on……until Christ from heaven commissions an Apostle to the Gentile's and the Jew's, Acts 9:3-6 and 16, so I'm in the Body of Christ, the "Body Church", and not the "Kingdom Church", gaining entrance into eternal salvation by "believing on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ" being justified through faith, and not by faith as all before the Cross and He seated on the right hand of His Father. Verification given in Hebrews chapter 11, and Romans 3:20 .

I don't have much of anything to say other than His Word. This is where it, the Word of God gets tough to accept, because what He wants and desires of us, may not be our wants, and desires. We are separated, you and I, in our understanding of His Word, but regardless whether you and I agree, I am going to agree with Him, and what has been revealed to me by God the Holy Spirit. It is imperative you do the same, making sure it is Him you believe, and not I, or some other person, just because they may agree with what you want to hear, or may want to do.

Again, you see scripture as I write, so it is He that is talking to you and not me, so read the scripture and let it talk to you. That is the way God talks to us, and when you understand it in your heart, you will do what He tells your young heart to do. If you make a misstep, that is human if you do not continue to do the same things over, and over again. If you are saved then every sin you have done, are doing, and will do have already been taken care of. This is why we OSAS stay in line for we understand it was God Himself that spilled His blood for us. Paul says we are to study to make ourselves approved, rightly dividing the Word of God, II Timothy 2:15.

Not sure where to start? How 'bout at the beginning. Your initial said you didn't know what to say to your fellow………. I am curious to see what the bible specifically has to say about intimate relationships before marriage... and even after marriage as well." I gave you some direction. What did you think of His Word? Is it for you? Would you like to discuss; or perhaps the gospel of Christ from heaven?

You are a "bright" woman, so I leave the choice to you for you are seeking. In this open forum there are other "bright" here also, most likely more to your present thinking. I teach Paul, and not Peter, and try not to straddle the foundations. They are both the Word of God, with one heavenly and one earthly.