As has been pointed out on this board many times the calvinist approach to scripture is to use it to support there preconceived views rather than letting the word of God inform those views.
I can’t speak for other Calvinists, but I never approached the Bible with any preconceived notions. In fact, there was a time when I would probably agree with many of the things you’re saying now. But, when my positions were challenged by Calvinists, and was forced to think through my beliefs, I couldn’t honestly defend what I believed anymore.
Calvinism requires that God determine all things but then want to deny that view would require that He also determine all sin and evil.
God did determine all things, and I don’t know how you can see it any other way. I don’t know how God can truly be sovereign if God has to adjust His plan according to what man does. In other words, God wanted plan A to happen but didn’t expect that man wouldn’t to go along with it; now He has to reverse course and come up with plan B. If I want to call that sovereign, then I’m not being honest with myself.
As far as God being responsible for evil, of course I don’t believe that. That being said, yes, God did ordain the fall of Adam, but He did it in such a way that doesn’t make Him the author of evil. We see many parts involved. The tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The serpent in the garden. Eve giving the fruit to Adam. It’s a concept that Christians have always struggled with, but I find the alternative view to be even scarier. That is, God knew about all the evil that was going to happen in the world, but there’s no rhyme or reason why it happens. There is much more comfort in knowing that He has a purpose for it. We may not know what that is in this life, but ultimately it will be for the greater good.
Now under your calvinistic approach we see that God has determined all those choices and thus man in actual fact is not responsible for them as he could not do other than what God had determined for him to do.
Because man is fallen, man can only do what they desire to do, which is sin. Sometimes the specific sin is more egregious than others. Sometimes God simply lifts His hand of restraint and lets a person do what they already have the desire to do in the first place and are still going to be judged on that basis. All for His purposes.
Even your faith has to be given to you after you are saved, an unbiblical view I might add.
I don’t believe a person is saved before they have faith. Even though a person might be predestined to have faith, they are still a child of wrath until that happens.
Under a limited free will man has the God given ability to make real choices regarding his salvation. He can choose to accept or reject God and is held responsible for those real choices. This is the biblical view which is supported by numerous verses. Rom 1:16, Jn 3:15-16, Eph 1:13, Rom 10:9-10, Rom 10:13 etc.
If you wanted to know what our free will looks like without God’s intervention, then every single one of us would always reject God’s invitation to salvation 100% of the time. I don’t have a problem with any of those verses you cited. I would only add that those acts of faith can only happen after they first have been regenerated.
You make the comment "if God observes that we first choose to accept Him before He chooses us, it can lead you into the trap of works-based salvation" but that comment flies in the face of scripture.
Does a person have to will themselves to have faith if they decide that they really want it, or does God have to give it to them as a gift? The way I see it, only one of those choices can line up with Scripture.
Romans 9:16 (ESV)
So then
it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy.
Ephesians 2:8 (ESV)
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is
not your own doing; it is the gift of God.