Will become a church member

[evangelist6589]

The church houses is full of people that never read a bible other than Sunday school or follow the pastor in his message. People like this reminds me about the joke when two men were talking and one ask the other, when it comes to church, what do you believe ? why, he said I believe what my pastor believes. Pray tell man, what does your pastor believe ? The other man replied, He believes what the church believes. If I were you, I would set down with my wife and go over her doctrinal beliefs and with the bible show her where she is wrong. Even though at this time she may not want to admit you are right, but if the Holy Spirit is in the matter every time her pastor comes across in his messages what his beliefs are contrary to yours, the Holy spirit will immediately cause her to remember your teachings.

I made a big deal about the pastor never talking about SIN, repentance, judgment and the like and at first she said he needed prayer, and then she justified his actions by saying "well when they respond to the invitation they all be told about sin." But for some reason he never preaches about it in church and in sermons. Strange is it not? I need to keep on trying. However as of late trying to reason with her with the Bible is not working as she does not seem to want to read it outside of her phone, nor read any books or anything that the pastor does not teach.

 

[evangelist6589]

The church houses is full of people that never read a bible other than Sunday school or follow the pastor in his message. People like this reminds me about the joke when two men were talking and one ask the other, when it comes to church, what do you believe ? why, he said I believe what my pastor believes. Pray tell man, what does your pastor believe ? The other man replied, He believes what the church believes. If I were you, I would set down with my wife and go over her doctrinal beliefs and with the bible show her where she is wrong. Even though at this time she may not want to admit you are right, but if the Holy Spirit is in the matter every time her pastor comes across in his messages what his beliefs are contrary to yours, the Holy spirit will immediately cause her to remember your teachings.

On second though I think I need to be a little more aggressive. I need to be as aggressive and bold as I am on the streets... I need that here...

 

[evangelist6589]

Good grief! Leave the poor woman alone! God will show her what He wants to show her.

Didn't you talk about this stuff before you got married?????

I was not fully Reformed then, but was still in IFB waters.

 

[Thousand Hills]

On second though I think I need to be a little more aggressive. I need to be as aggressive and bold as I am on the streets... I need that here...

NO NO NO!!! :BangHead: :BangHead::BangHead:

I don't know if anyone else caught it, but there apparently is a stepson involved as well, or am I wrong? If you are now "Reformed" get down on your knees and pray, pray like you've never have before - trust in God's sovereignty in this situation if you want to see change, but don't get aggressive about getting your wife to conform to what you believe on every little thing (which seems to be constantly changing). You've only been married 5 months, if I read right, probably haven't even known her for more than a year if I'm guessing. Right now she needs a husband and a father to her child more than a seminary professor. Be that!! Be what God has called you to be at this time. As I've said before, she won't consider any change if she doesn't respect you. And I guarantee that she does not.

I'm trying to say this with brotherly love, I believe doctrine is important, but I would guess your marriage is probably on thin ice. Don't strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.

 

[InTheLight]

I'm trying to say this with brotherly love, I believe doctrine is important, but I would guess your marriage is probably on thin ice. Don't strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.

Amen! This constant bickering about Reformed vs. IFB, confronting the pastor of the church his wife loves, the need to "convert" her to Reformed theology, the Way of the Master or the highway, etc. is NOT building a good foundation for a marriage. Take your foot off the throttle and be a loving husband. Put your books away and pay attention to your wife.

 

[Scarlett O.]

"Oh, never mind" says Scarlett O. as she takes her initial post and walks away.

 

[Thousand Hills]

Put your books away and pay attention to your wife.

:thumbs: If you want to discuss scripture with her, get a baby sitter, get you some Mike's Hard Lemonade, get alone with her and talk about these verses:

Ecclesiastes 9:9 - Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Proverbs 5:18-19 - Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.

Deuteronomy 24:5 - If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.

I Corinthians 7:3-5 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

On second though I think I need to be a little more aggressive. I need to be as aggressive and bold as I am on the streets... I need that here...

Agreed...in all,, youur wife is immovable & that's fine....so she can stay put where she is and you go find the church that best suits you. Life is like that.

 

[Thousand Hills]

"Oh, never mind" says Scarlett O. as she takes her initial post and walks away.

Other than the broad brush remark about those that hold to the Doctrines of Grace, that post here (of which I am one) I thought you had an excellent post. And there was no reason for you to take it down. He may not listen to what you said, but he needs a woman's perspective, and it needs to be said.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Amen! This constant bickering about Reformed vs. IFB, confronting the pastor of the church his wife loves, the need to "convert" her to Reformed theology, the Way of the Master or the highway, etc. is NOT building a good foundation for a marriage. Take your foot off the throttle and be a loving husband. Put your books away and pay attention to your wife.

Why...is she paying attention to his concerns and spiritual development?

 

[InTheLight]

Agreed...in all,, youur wife is immovable & that's fine....so she can stay put where she is and you go find the church that best suits you. Life is like that.

This is possibly the worst advice I've ever read on this forum.

 

[Scarlett O.]

Other than the broad brush remark about those that hold to the Doctrines of Grace, that post here (of which I am one) I thought you had an excellent post. And there was no reason for you to take it down. He may not listen to what you said, but he needs a woman's perspective, and it needs to be said.

Ok, then I will say just one thing to Evan.

Brother, what if your new wife read all of these posts you have on the Baptist Board about her? You aren't complimentary of her at all and it's not just in this thread. It's painful for ME to read and I can only wonder how she would feel. I know this much - it would hurt her to see your talking about her the way you do and she would cry.

What if she read just in this thread alone that you were going to use your street-evangelism aggression with her?

What if she read that you considered her a whiner and bickerer and that she needs to "learn submission".

You need to practice some knee-callousing prayer to God and LISTEN to Him as He leads you in leading your family. You need to submit to the Lord as a new husband and new father.

She needs a husband. That boy needs a father.

 

[InTheLight]

Why...is she paying attention to his concerns and spiritual development?

Nothing has been said about this by Evan, so I don't know. However, his constant belittling of her church and pastor and his (clichéd- Calvinism) aggressive attempts to get her to accept Reformed theology is going to damage their marriage. If he stays true to form it won't be long before he questions her salvation.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

This is possibly the worst advice I've ever read on this forum.

Your opinion....

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Ok, then I will say just one thing to Evan.

Brother, what if your new wife read all of these posts you have on the Baptist Board about her? You aren't complimentary of her at all and it's not just in this thread. It's painful for ME to read and I can only wonder how she would feel. I know this much - it would hurt her to see your talking about her the way you do and she would cry.

What if she read just in this thread alone that you were going to use your street-evangelism aggression with her?

What if she read that you considered her a whiner and bickerer and that she needs to "learn submission".

You need to practice some knee-callousing prayer to God and LISTEN to Him as He leads you in leading your family. You need to submit to the Lord as a new husband and new father.

She needs a husband. That boy needs a father.

BTW...where is the father?

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Nothing has been said about this by Evan, so I don't know. However, his constant belittling of her church and pastor and his (clichéd- Calvinism) aggressive attempts to get her to accept Reformed theology is going to damage their marriage. If he stays true to form it won't be long before he questions her salvation.

Your asking Evan to be both the spiritial leader of this new family and the head of it. So when he attempts to review scripture and his concerns for a pastor, he gets what.....'rebuffed '....so where is the guy supposed to go?

 

[evangelist6589]

NO NO NO!!! :BangHead: :BangHead::BangHead:

I don't know if anyone else caught it, but there apparently is a stepson involved as well, or am I wrong? If you are now "Reformed" get down on your knees and pray, pray like you've never have before - trust in God's sovereignty in this situation if you want to see change, but don't get aggressive about getting your wife to conform to what you believe on every little thing (which seems to be constantly changing). You've only been married 5 months, if I read right, probably haven't even known her for more than a year if I'm guessing. Right now she needs a husband and a father to her child more than a seminary professor. Be that!! Be what God has called you to be at this time. As I've said before, she won't consider any change if she doesn't respect you. And I guarantee that she does not.

I'm trying to say this with brotherly love, I believe doctrine is important, but I would guess your marriage is probably on thin ice. Don't strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.

My marriage is not on thin ice and my wife does respect me. But yes a great suggestion is to pray. I tried to speak with her last night, but her excuse was that the pastor does not need to speak on sin, repentance, judgment, hell, or the like because he speaks about these in soul winning class and does not need to preach on these in the main service.

 

[evangelist6589]

Your asking Evan to be both the spiritial leader of this new family and the head of it. So when he attempts to review scripture and his concerns for a pastor, he gets what.....'rebuffed '....so where is the guy supposed to go?

Exactly... I mentioned that even those in the Evangelical Covenant church claim to have been changed and be growing. However as I used to be in that church more than 10 years ago they ordain women, have emergent theology, some aspects of New Age, etc.. What would I do if I were in that situation? They also would claim to be preaching the gospel, and claim to be a good healthy church.

 

[Rippon]

Brother, what if your new wife read all of these posts you have on the Baptist Board about her? You aren't complimentary of her at all and it's not just in this thread. It's painful for ME to read and I can only wonder how she would feel. I know this much - it would hurt her to see your talking about her the way you do and she would cry.

I had asked Evan this a few weeks ago and didn't get an answer to my knowledge. I think there are other posters here who would (or should) feel shame if their wives read their posts.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

I had asked Evan this a few weeks ago and didn't get an answer to my knowledge. I think there are other posters here who would (or should) feel shame if their wives read their posts.

Yea....like whom do you refer? Personally my dear bride has told me that they should do their own thing and it would be a mistake for Evan to join her church....especially if he is a Calvinist and she is an IFB. Her exact words were, "tell him to grow a set "