Women working outside the home...

Yes, women should work outside the home: the lawn needs mowing.

JUST KIDDING! (running and ducking)

 

Just wondering how recently that would be Joshua?

 

It wouldn't have existed prior to the establishment of the middle class and the rise of industrialism. It probably wouldn't have been an option for many women until the 18th or perhaps the nineteenth century.

Joshua

 

Let's not forget the masses of women who took over "men's jobs" on assembly lines for the war machine in the 40's while the men were off fighting!

 

Yup. Presumably, for the absolutists on this issue, those women should have stayed home and our fighting men and women should have pointed broomsticks at the Nazis and shouted "bang, bang!"

Joshua

 

This is getting way off topic and actually very comical.....

Joshua,

I just didn't think it was right for you to say that mothers should work outside the home...I felt like that was what you were insinuating.

 

Here's another one of those statements. Is the implication that a woman working outside of the home when she has children an indicator that she is not submitting herself to the Word of God and is thus not a Christian?

 

MOMTO3JD,

I was not a Christian when I got married. As a matter of fact, I was 4 months pregnant when I got married. I DID quit my job when my first child was born, and stayed home with him for over a year. I worked for 3 years after that and quit again after having my second child, and stayed home for nearly 18 months with her. I would have loved to stay home with them both and never return to work until they were older, but my husband started pressuring me more and more saying that he couldn't handle all the bills. My husband is EXTREMELY selfish with "his" money, and he also drinks, etc. and wastes a lot of money. After a while, I began to realize that I could not depend on him forever. He was beginning to make me feel guilty for not contributing to the income.

I got saved March, 2001. My husband has not changed one bit. He said he accepted the Lord in October of 2001, but has continued to drink, lie, etc. I would be TERRIFIED to quit my job at this point in my marriage. He could find some bar fly and run off with her, he could get killed driving drunk, get fired from his job for being drunk while working, etc. Who knows? I refuse to sit at home like a sitting duck just waiting for the iron anvil to hit me up top the head! I'm doing what I have to do, and I feel God has supported me all the way.

The only way I see this situation changing is by divine intervention on my husband. God will surely have to work a miracle in his life. Still, it would be a long while before I could trust my husband enough to depend soley on him for my needs.

It is extremely difficult for some of us working-moms to do what we have to do. And to come onto a "Christian" Bulletin Board and be bombarded with guilt inducing remarks just makes the whole situation even more difficult. I am not working for a new car (I drive a 1991 vechicle), new clothes, new house (very small 1964 ranch). I work because God wants me prepared to take care of myself and my children if the need arises. I have my own savings account "just in case". I feel I have God's support 100% in what I am doing. It is not easy by any means, and I feel that I, along with my children will learn much from these experiences, and we'll be better off because of them..... I'm trusting God for that.

Saved4Life....whether I work or not.

 

Further, where exactly is the "with children" clause found in the Biblical instructions to women?

 

SAVED4LIFE,

You are an extreme exception to what others and myself teach. Your situtaion is very unique and you should not feel guilty because of what we say. But,exceptions do not change what is best. Staying home is the best,but you if your situation does not allow it,then you can't.

I will continue to pray for your husband.

 

Clint,In Titus 2 is says that the older women are to teach the youger women to love their husbands and children....to be discreet,chaste homemakers,...it goes on to say....in order that the Word of God may not be blasphemed.

your comment will be....does loving your children mean you have to stay home...I would say you can't error in doing the best option...I'd rather error on the conservative side then try to justify working.

 

Again, I would like to see exactly where this is stated as "best" aside from your opinion. If this is the Word of God, I would like to see some scripture.

 

And yes,I believe that staying home,taking care of your children and husband is the only way to fulfill God's mandatory responsiblity for women.

 

My rambling post earlier didn't really address MOMTO3JD's question "did I know before I got married....." Actually, I planned on staying home with my son for longer than 1 year. I cut all the corners as far as bills, extras, groceries, etc. My husband, however, would not do his part.....therfore, after a year, the money started running low, and I was left with no choice. I saved all my money before I quit my job (both times) and when it ran out, I had to go back to work. Now that I know how it's gonna be, I will never quit again.

But, I would also like to stress, that mothers who work because they feel they need to or have been given a gift/talent from God, I am 100% behind them as well.

Children are in the care of teachers at the age of 5-6 for many hours.....no one has ever said children going to school and being away from mommy has caused them to feel unloved or unnurtured.

My children have a very loving, kind, patient babysitter. There are other children there who are the same ages as my two. They have a great time, home cooked breakfast and lunch on a big ol' farm. To some of you, this may not be the best overall situation, but it's the best I can do for them given my circumstances.

 

Joy and I went rounds over this when I was very new to the board. Here is the statement I prepared as a rebuttal to her:

[ April 26, 2002, 04:33 PM: Message edited by: Clint Kritzer ]

 

Clint,

Amen!

MOMTO3JD,

Sorry that the nursing thing got to you, but I was just using an experience I had recently that helped me to see that our "vision" of "keepers at home" is a limited one.

I spent a lot of time next to my daughter's Isolette. In that time I talked to a lot of the nurses. Very few of them were 45-50 and many of them had kids in school or in day care. Some of them were Christians, some were not. That isn't the point. The point is, that you will let a nurse take care of your child all the while you are talking about how "holier" you are then they are. They are saving your child's life and you are sitting there "preaching" the wrongness of it all.

The doctor's saw my daughter twice a day, the nurses took care of her 24 hours each day. That isn't something I look at lightly and it isn't something I want taken away the next time My daughter is ill because someone gave the good nurses guilt trips based on thier interpretation of when it is and is not ok to work.

I personally stay home and take care of my kids. However, I will not tell someone else that they MUST do what i do, because the Bible doesn't specifically say.

Again, I AMEN Clint's Post. It is funny how those 3 little words can be the basis for our beliefs. I think too often we let our own ideas and tradition help us to define Scripture, when in fact, it should be the other way around.

~Lorelei

 

Actually,it is the other way around for me....Tradition shows us that because of our society and feminism,women think it is okay to work 40-50 hours a week and leave their children with a caregiver. I feel that my husband and I searched God's word and decided based on God's word what was right and best.

Everyone has to decide for themself.

I think it is always best for the mother to be home. God knows what is best for us even though we don't awlays know why. I wonder what mothers who stayed home or even homeschooled kept their children from...I wonder what eveil things they were protected from being in their mother's care? We will never know what all the results from a home set up the way God planned,by I know if possible,the best should be the standard.

 

Another thought,when making a decision and trying to know God's will I have 2 things that I ask myself....is this in realm of the character of God and will I have any regrets later if I don't or do this?

Will any of you deny that children are taken care of best by their own mother,doesn't a loving family being together fit into the realm of God's character....and if you do not stay home,will you have regrets later that you did not do everything you knew possible to give your child a great start?

I know with staying home,I will NEVER regret that! There is not anything I would've wished I had done more than that....

 

I feel the same about my girls. Glad your daughter is doing well.