Would you confront...

Whether you tithe is not the issue, it's just what SHE used at that moment to get a response out of you. Don't bite. I believe this
I wonder how many others she has hurt.....
As the victim and Pastor's wife, you should be the one to take care of the problem asap (Or your hubby, that's between you two). Be gentle with her, yet firm, even if you are upset. Explain how serious breaking confidentiality is, and how you now have an obligation to remove her immediately unless she chooses to move to another position. Reason? If this can happen to the Pastors wife, it can certainly happen to others. She should understand this.

Try to move her into a position she will enjoy, even create one if needed (ask her) & compliment her on her spiritual gifts. If she agrees to move, then say "great, I am glad you want to do this position instead of the other" and leave it at that. She will be able to explain to others that SHE choose to switch volunteer jobs.

Others are watching how you handle yourself.:saint: Keep your integrity by not telling anyone why she needed to be removed (Gossip). Establish written procedures, including confidentiality guidelines for this position and the treasurer position. Possibly other positions, especially the one she moves to. Men often aren't the best at moving people, and sometimes confrontation isn't the best option. It may be the best option here but luckily, you get to read all of these great responses, and pick and choose what works for your situation.

It's so nice you are there to lessen hubby's load, he probably appreciates you very much. :saint: :love2:

 

Amen! I love my wife dearly but she looses her cool very easily. Especially with her Pastor!

 

Quote
Originally Posted by Kris:
It's so nice you are there to lessen hubby's load, he probably appreciates you very much :love2:

hmmm....
Maybe she is having a love affair with her pastor because her hubby is a dog :tongue3: :laugh:

 

Remember, there is power in suggestion... :wavey:

Kris, you may be right. I may have to start following her around to see if that Pastor is getting some of my attention... :thumbs:

 

You mean this guy??? :laugh:

 

I say pick em both Tater:thumbs:

 

Maybe you can explain to her that the church already has one church gossip and she needs to wait until that position is vacated before she takes over. In the menatime there may be a church down the road who is in need of a gossip , perhaps she could send out feelers to several churches to see who is in need of one and whether or not it is a paid or volunteer position.:laugh:

 

Hey... I resemble that remark! :laugh: :tongue3:

 

Tater this reminds me of the time I said that Ron was out with a younger woman the week he was traveling with his sales associate who is younger than I am (and a friend of mine BTW). You should have seen the horrified looks. You can't help but laugh sometimes.

 

When you say you post the tithes in the notes do you mean that you say John Smith gave $100, and Jim Jones gave $200, and Sally Johnson gave $25, etc.?

Or do you simply say that the chruch took in $12000 in tithes for the quarter?

Bill

 

I guess I'm in the tiny minority on this (unless I missed a post somewhere). I wouldn't do anything. I'd ignore it completely. Better still, give cash from now on.

​

 

Seems like the easiest way to handle it

 

Both, we list all the givings and expendatures.

 

As far as confrontation goes, the above sounds like sage advice. However, your recourse should be to love her and do good to her. If that is the commanded response to our enemies and those who persecute us, how much more should it be our response to our brothers and sisters in Christ?

LeBuick had some good advice on page 1, too.

 

Matthew 18:15-17
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.



I suspect that if you had done this concerning her being nosey, you would not be having this problem now. Things will just keep snowballing until you stop leaning unto your own understanding and simply do what Jesus said.

 

TaterTot,
I went through something similar. There was a woman who counted the Sunday School money. My husband always had our tithe, so I didn't put any in the SS envie, but just wrote on the front that my husband had the tithe. I was told that it didn't count, and that I have to tithe. We hated to write two checks, so I started putting in pennies, dimes, etc. Just whatever I had that week went into my SS envie. At any rate, the woman who was counting the SS money started spreading rumors about me and others. We quit putting the money in SS, and started dropping cash into the offering plate. Later, it was found out that the woman was stealing money from the church offerings. I believe she was trying to draw attention to other people instead of to herself.
I wouldn't confront her. Let her sins find her out. Let her reap what she is sowing. Good Luck!

 

Larry, Matt. 18 is for serious offenses. Small, personal affronts should be handled according to Matt. 5:38-42.

TaterTot, Heaven help you if you're all worked up over what some lady said, especially when it's over an issue as small as this.