You Know You're a Missionary If...

[Gregory Perry Sr.]

Boom!!

Missionary kids from Australia coming back to the US and pining away because there isn't any Vegemite. . . . .

What on earth is "vegemite"....sounds like a name for an organic explosive of some sort! Don't say that coming through US Customs or Homeland Security may put you on a do-not-fly or some other kind of watch list!:smilewinkgrin:

Bro.Greg:saint:

 

[Mexdeaf]

You know you're a missionary if you serve God in a country that doesn't have root beer! (As far as I know it's only in the US.)

That reminds me of a story- when we were in Mexico we had a missionary friend who would import A&W root beer by the case - he loved the stuff. Anyway, one day he got stopped by the local policia for allegedly speeding - all you need to do to get pulled over for that is have US license plates on your car, which all of us missionaries did - so we were easy targets.

The policia sauntered up to his car and asked for his licencia and credencial (visa) and peered around in the car. His eyes fell on the can of root beer and all he saw was the word "beer". He thought he might double his "mordita" (bribe) by telling him he was "arresting" him for "speeding" and DUI.

My friend was a well-seasoned missionary veteran so he knew how the "game" was played. He asked the policia for proof of speeding - and of course he had none, so that charge was going nowhere. So then the policia started in about the "beer" so my friend told him it was the worst beer he had ever tasted and asked the officer if he wanted a can for himself. Of course he did - it was a hot day.

The officer popped the top, took a swallow, gagged, spit, threw the can over to the side of the road, walked back to his car, and drove off.

As did my friend, laughing.

 

[John of Japan]

That reminds me of a story- when we were in Mexico we had a missionary friend who would import A&W root beer by the case - he loved the stuff. Anyway, one day he got stopped by the local policia for allegedly speeding - all you need to do to get pulled over for that is have US license plates on your car, which all of us missionaries did - so we were easy targets.

The policia sauntered up to his car and asked for his licencia and credencial (visa) and peered around in the car. His eyes fell on the can of root beer and all he saw was the word "beer". He thought he might double his "mordita" (bribe) by telling him he was "arresting" him for "speeding" and DUI.

My friend was a well-seasoned missionary veteran so he knew how the "game" was played. He asked the policia for proof of speeding - and of course he had none, so that charge was going nowhere. So then the policia started in about the "beer" so my friend told him it was the worst beer he had ever tasted and asked the officer if he wanted a can for himself. Of course he did - it was a hot day.

The officer popped the top, took a swallow, gagged, spit, threw the can over to the side of the road, walked back to his car, and drove off.

As did my friend, laughing.

The wife and I laughed big time at this one.

It reminded me of my own root beer experiences here. Not too long after we arrived and had learned that there was no root beer in this country, my dear college friend Warren took pity on me and sent me a big box of IBC root beer. Well, I went down to the PO to collect my box and found out they'd put an alcoholic beverage duty on the box. Now I had a dilemma. I didn't know enough Japanese yet to explain what the stuff was. Do I pay the duty and confirm their theory, or allow them to throw the stuff away and offend a loyal friend and supporter? Well, what did I do? I'll leave you to guess... :smilewinkgrin:

After language school my Mom sent me a small package with several little bottles of root beer extract. All I had to do was add water and yeast, bottle the stuff up, and I had root beer! Well, I got some empty soft drink bottles and made the stuff up. Not too long after we had over the senior missionary couple, a missionary family who were good friends, and they young lady working with them. I brought out my precious root beer, but to a person they all refused to drink it. They were sure it was alcoholic because of the yeast smell, which reminded them of beer! It didn't help to show them in the encyclopedia where it says that for yeast to ferment it needed air, they were sure it was the bad stuff. Was I offended? Of course not! It left the whole batch for me to drink!

 

[Mexdeaf]

The wife and I laughed big time at this one.

It reminded me of my own root beer experiences here. Not too long after we arrived and had learned that there was no root beer in this country, my dear college friend Warren took pity on me and sent me a big box of IBC root beer. Well, I went down to the PO to collect my box and found out they'd put an alcoholic beverage duty on the box. Now I had a dilemma. I didn't know enough Japanese yet to explain what the stuff was. Do I pay the duty and confirm their theory, or allow them to throw the stuff away and offend a loyal friend and supporter? Well, what did I do? I'll leave you to guess... :smilewinkgrin:

After language school my Mom sent me a small package with several little bottles of root beer extract. All I had to do was add water and yeast, bottle the stuff up, and I had root beer! Well, I got some empty soft drink bottles and made the stuff up. Not too long after we had over the senior missionary couple, a missionary family who were good friends, and they young lady working with them. I brought out my precious root beer, but to a person they all refused to drink it. They were sure it was alcoholic because of the yeast smell, which reminded them of beer! It didn't help to show them in the encyclopedia where it says that for yeast to ferment it needed air, they were sure it was the bad stuff. Was I offended? Of course not! It left the whole batch for me to drink!

LOL! Bully for you. I like my root beer.

 

[Wherever You Go]

You can't say "root beer" on the Australian mission field. They don't know what it is there, but they do know what beer is, and "root" in any other context besides the underground part of a tree is a very bad word.

:tonofbricks:

I spent 4 months in Australia on an agricultural internship.

 

[John of Japan]

You can't say "root beer" on the Australian mission field. They don't know what it is there, but they do know what beer is, and "root" in any other context besides the underground part of a tree is a very bad word.

:tonofbricks:

I spent 4 months in Australia on an agricultural internship.

Ah, linguistics. Don't you love languages? In Japan too, I pronounce the "beer" part of root beer differently than the Japanese word for beer, which is a loan word from English: biiru.

 

[John of Japan]

You know you're a missionary if you buy your shoes in size 30 cm instead of size 12. http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=...71QqjSIC_h-yv8h52UVDWu2w&ust=1367754007136577http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=...GCX1saraI2c-98iOc_A8Mq1A&ust=1367753849994496

 

[John of Japan]

You know you're a missionary if one of the most popular ice cream flavors you know is Matcha (green tea)! And another flavor you've tasted is lavendar (like the flower).

 

[Mexdeaf]

You know you're a missionary if every church you visit tries to take you to a restaurant specializing in your adopted country's food.

 

[John of Japan]

You know you're a missionary if every church you visit tries to take you to a restaurant specializing in your adopted country's food.

:laugh: And instead all you really wanted was a good hamburger!

 

[Mexdeaf]

:laugh: And instead all you really wanted was a good hamburger!

That's the truth!

I remember one Sunday we were at a church for the Sunday morning service. After church they took us out to a Chinese restaurant that was owned by a member of the church - who was Chinese. They piled our plates and it was so good we ate every bit of it. Then we got into the car and started driving four hours to the next meeting. All of us- mom, the kids and me were talking about how good the food was. I made the comment, "I hope if the church feeds us tonight, they take us to a place where we can just get a salad- I'm stuffed." Everyone agreed.

Lo and behold we arrive at that church and almost the first words out of the pastor's mouth after "Howdy" were "Hey y'all like to eat steak, right? We have a man here in the church who is a chef and he's preparing a full steak dinner with all the trimmings for us tonight." How could we say no? We had a salad... and a baked potato, and baked beans, and vegetables, and the thickest steak I've ever seen, and dessert.

We went on a fast for a day after that weekend! We kidded about "suffering for Jesus" for a long time after that Sunday.:laugh:

 

[Wherever You Go]

You might be a missionary if you can translate metric to english measurements, and temperatures, in your head.

By the way, I can do most of them, within a reasonable degree of accuracy, and I'm not an official missionary.

 

[Mexdeaf]

You might be a missionary if you can translate metric to english measurements, and temperatures, in your head.

By the way, I can do most of them, within a reasonable degree of accuracy, and I'm not an official missionary.

You have me beat - I was a missionary in Mexico for nine years and I never did figure that out!

 

[Wherever You Go]

The weights and measures I do pretty well at, but the temperature is the hardest. I can do it if I have to, but I mostly approximate.