You might be a Calvinist

[Jarthur001]

If you purchased an MP3 player with the sole purpose of downloading sermons, or

If you were shocked to just discover that some people download MP3 files that are not sermons, or

If you have adjusted the default passage setting at www.biblegateway.org from “NIV” to “ESV”

… you might be a Calvinist.


If your preacher says to turn to Obadiah and you do not use the index, or

If you think a 50-minute sermon is too short, or

If you’ve ever heard a wave of groans sweep through Sunday School when you refer to Romans 9,

…you just might be a Calvinist.

See the whole list at..Tominthebox


After reading the link....Please add you own to this thread.

 

[Jarthur001]

I liked this one that was posted...

If your library is worth more than your car - and none of your books are sold at LifeWay - you might be a Calvinist.

 

[Rippon]

I am surprised that Jeff Foxworthy wrote that piece!

You just might be a Calvinist if you use the words election and prestination biblically!

You just might be a Calvinist if you scratch-out the words free-will from your Bible versions -- even though those texts are speaking of voluntary offerings and have nothing to do with the worldly concept of Free-Will.

You just might be a Calvinist if you think that the Reformation and Puritan time periods were exceptional for the number of Christian giants that the Lord raised-up.

You just might be a Calvinist if you you refuse to say :"Thank Goodness!", and instead say :"Thank God for my imputed goodness!"

You just might be a Calvinist if you don't have edited versions of Spurgeon's works.( I'm kind of kidding here. Some portions of his works have been lightly revised for modern English purposes.)

You just might be a Calvinist if you don't own the complete works of Arminius. ( Actually that wouldn't be such a bad idea. And he respected Calvin's exigetical abilities.)

You just might be a Calvinist if you treat even light-hearted excursions such as this seriously.

 

[PK]

You might be a Calvinist if the most wore out pages in your Bible are:

Matt. 20:16; 22:14
John 6:44; 10:26; 12:39; 15:16
Acts 2:23; 13:48; 16:14
Romans 3:11; 8-11
Eph 1:4-5, 11
2 Thess 2:13
1 Peter 1:1-2
Rev 13:8; 17:8
:thumbs:

 

[JerryL]

I am surprised that Jeff Foxworthy wrote that piece!
You just might be a Calvinist if you use the words election and prestination biblically!

You just might be a Calvinist if you scratch-out the words free-will from your Bible versions -- even though those texts are speaking of voluntary offerings and have nothing to do with the worldly concept of Free-Will.

You just might be a Calvinist if you think that the Reformation and Puritan time periods were exceptional for the number of Christian giants that the Lord raised-up.

You just might be a Calvinist if you you refuse to say :"Thank Goodness!", and instead say :"Thank God for my imputed goodness!"

You just might be a Calvinist if you don't have edited versions of Spurgeon's works.( I'm kind of kidding here. Some portions of his works have been lightly revised for modern English purposes.)

You just might be a Calvinist if you don't own the complete works of Arminius. ( Actually that wouldn't be such a bad idea. And he respected Calvin's exigetical abilities.)

You just might be a Calvinist if you treat even light-hearted excursions such as this seriously.

Jeff Foxworthy didn't write that piece. It is from a calvinist satire blog.

 

[Rippon]

Jeff Foxworthy didn't write that piece. It is from a calvinist satire blog.

Oops. I made a mistake.

 

[Plain Old Bill]

If you show signs of an actual sense of humor you may not be a calvinist.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

[Rippon]

If you show signs of an actual sense of humor you may not be a calvinist.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Then Spurgeon was not a Calvinist by your standard, he was quite funny and had to rein in his humorous impulses.

 

[bbas 64]

If you keep calling your wife Grace when her birth name is not (Grace).

http://www.tomboer.net/uploaded_images/calvinist_romance-740873.jpg

In Him,

Bill