Your Friend In Church Commits A Sin?

[tyndale1946]

We are told in scripture to tell our faults one to another... And what if telling our faults one to another a friend in the church whose friendship you value tells you of a hidden sin they committed, while being a member of the church... What would you do?... Would you say, you need to go to the Lord in prayer... His answer, I have and am still seeking one... I don't know if I would be judgemental (we all walk with feet of clay)... Should I ignore it and say well it our secret and since you told me in confidence, I'll let you handle it?... Do I tell him you need to seek pastoral counsel?... He is the overseer of the flock and you are one of the beloved sheep and I can tell you we all go through problems but you need to bring it out and let the pastor and the church, if necessary deal with it... So brothers and sisters on this board what would you do, if it was your friend?... Brother Glen

James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

 

[Deacon]

It is very hard to confess one’s sins to another.
Don’t over react.
Act like a brother.
Care for him like a brother. Help him develop a plan of action and follow up with him.
Don’t tell another person (even the pastor) unless you have that brother’s permission (for to do so would be breaking the confidence he has put in you). He’d never tell you anything ever again.

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.
Galatians 6.1-5 NASB​

It’s okay to be concerned about your brothers sin, but be equally concerned about the person sitting in the chair you are sitting on.

Rob

 

[tyndale1946]

It is very hard to confess one’s sins to another.
Don’t over react.
Act like a brother.
Care for him like a brother. Help him develop a plan of action and follow up with him.
Don’t tell another person (even the pastor) unless you have that brother’s permission (for to do so would be breaking the confidence he has put in you). He’d never tell you anything ever again.

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.
Galatians 6.1-5 NASB​

It’s okay to be concerned about your brothers sin, but be equally concerned about the person sitting in the chair you are sitting on.

Rob

That is some wonderful brotherly advise Deacon and I am very well aware of the one who is sitting in the chair I'm sitting in... And I'm sure if it was me that did the confessing to him, knowing him for many years as I have he would take the same action... He's my dear brother in the Lord and I would only seek was is best for him... Not divulging any details just asking for direction from the Lord and my brethren... Brother Glen

Btw... To those who see this on here, put your comments here so we can all gain knowledge and understanding to help each other in these life situations... No private PM's!

Proverbs 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

 

[Scarlett O.]

I've had two Christian women in my church come to me privately to confess the sin of abortion when they were teenagers. Both were in their early 40's when they came to me.

I have no idea if they knew the other one had come to me.

I told them that I would never tell. And I talked to them [both fairly new Christians] about repentance and taking EVERYTHING to God. And that Christians still go to God for forgiveness and confession.

They wanted to know where their babies were [one had had TWO abortions as an unsaved teen]. One refused to sing in the choir because she felt God was holding it against her and she was hyper worried that her babies in heaven would hate her.

It took more than one "talk" with each of them, but I emphasized God's forgiveness to the truly repentant and that what God wants from them now is to be a mother to the children they have and to serve him in and out of the church.

 

[Iconoclast]

Galatians 6 King James Version (KJV)
6 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

2 Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

3 For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

4 But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.

5 For every man shall bear his own burden.

6 Let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things.

7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

1pet4;
8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

9 Use hospitality one to another without grudging.

10 As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

11 If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

rom15:
Romans 15 King James Version (KJV)
15 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.

2 Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.

3 For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me.

4 For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.

 

[Salty]

I've had two Christian women in my church come to me privately to confess the sin of abortion when they were teenagers. Both were in their early 40's when they came to me.....

Its wonderful that they came to you and that you were able to minister to them.
You are certainly a blessing for your church.

 

[Scott Downey]

Christians are still judged for the things they do while in the body, for good or for bad.

Paul is talking in context of the Church here.
2 Corinthians 5:10
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

That judgement is still in the future while your down here on the earth.

Here is the context

6 So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. 7 For we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.

The Judgment Seat of Christ
9 Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. 11 Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are well known to God, and I also trust are well known in your consciences.

This judgement though is not unto spiritual death, as it is for the unbelieving world.
Not everyone of the believers will have the same resurrection, some will have a better one.

 

[SGO]

I don't know what I would do in advance but I told a brother once and it later became the fodder for a pastor's sermon.
Of course, I was humiliated.
So I would say be careful who you confess to and make sure the hearer knows it is a confession.
I wasn't and didn't.
If the person trusted you that is a plus.

 

[Scott Downey]

Matthew 12:36
But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.

If for every word, then so much more for every deed they also will give account to Christ.
Christ there is telling us not just our deeds but our words are judged, what you say, it is all written down in the books.

 

[canadyjd]

I've had two Christian women in my church come to me privately to confess the sin of abortion when they were teenagers. Both were in their early 40's when they came to me.

I have no idea if they knew the other one had come to me.

I told them that I would never tell. And I talked to them [both fairly new Christians] about repentance and taking EVERYTHING to God. And that Christians still go to God for forgiveness and confession.

They wanted to know where their babies were [one had had TWO abortions as an unsaved teen]. One refused to sing in the choir because she felt God was holding it against her and she was hyper worried that her babies in heaven would hate her.

It took more than one "talk" with each of them, but I emphasized God's forgiveness to the truly repentant and that what God wants from them now is to be a mother to the children they have and to serve him in and out of the church.

They are lucky to have you. Your advice is sound.

May I make a suggestion? I have read that women who have had an abortion have higher rates of uterine and breast cancer. You might urge regular screenings.

Both my mother and sister have endured breast cancer. Both caught it early and both are long term survivors.

peace to you

 

[kathleenmariekg]

Who you ARE is more important than what you SAY and DO. In moments like this, people see who you ARE.

If you are in the right place yourself as you approach this person, then it will be for his good. If you don't have your own self together, it won't go well.

Part of praying before hand is praying for God to prepare YOU. It is a heavy responsibility to confront someone. It is far more pleasant to shirk the responsibility. We must not be too quick to shirk the responsibility, as well as be too quick to confront someone.

Something like this takes preparation. More than I want to invest. Walking away is easier, so much easier. "No good deed goes unpunished," tends to go through my head at times like these. Walking away is easier.

I am not suggesting either that you walk away or confront. It stinks to be you right now. Hugs!