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Bad Advice Only

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by fluke, Nov 13, 2008.

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  1. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Fix them with bacon grease. That makes them taste better, and adds some protein to make them healthier for him.



    My chair won't quit squeaking........
     
    #501 convicted1, Oct 17, 2012
  2. Deacon

    Deacon Well-Known Member
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    It's probably just heartburn, take an antacid.

    Rob
     
    #502 Deacon, Oct 26, 2012
  3. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    No. Just ask for it to borrow.


    It is cold in McDonalds. What should I do?
     
    #503 SaggyWoman, Nov 3, 2012
  4. Benjamin

    Benjamin Well-Known Member
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    Hold a cup of their coffee between your legs.

    Having to wait a week to recieve the results of my National Physical Therapy Board Exam is driving me crazy!
     
    #504 Benjamin, Nov 3, 2012
  5. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    get a job on a garbage truck for the next week


    How do I get my Dish Satellite to work on my Cable TV
     
    #505 Salty, Nov 3, 2012
  6. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Clean it with Dawn Dishwashing liquid while you are hooking it up.




    I am tired of hearing the election ads.
     
    #506 SaggyWoman, Nov 4, 2012
  7. mont974x4

    mont974x4 New Member

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    run for office yourself. Start now and get all the good time slots for the next election.




    I'm out of lemonade.
     
    #507 mont974x4, Nov 4, 2012
  8. Palatka51

    Palatka51 New Member

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    My drive way is paved with "lime" stone. I will send you some lime rock to mix with water to make some limeade instead.



    Salty is selling Fords, How do I get Salty to give me an 85% discount so I can buy a new Ford with cash?
     
    #508 Palatka51, Nov 5, 2012
  9. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    We will raise the price 200% then give you the 85%


    How do we end this silly thread
     
    #509 Salty, Nov 5, 2012
  10. Palatka51

    Palatka51 New Member

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    Keep offering cars at a 200% markup and this thread will close post haste.......



    How would you make me a milk shake?
     
    #510 Palatka51, Nov 5, 2012
  11. mont974x4

    mont974x4 New Member

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    Do I look like Harry Potter? How am I supposed to make you a milk shake when God made you a person?
     
    #511 mont974x4, Nov 5, 2012
  12. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Put Mont974.4 in the blender.


    I think Obama will win. What can I do now?
     
    #512 SaggyWoman, Nov 5, 2012
  13. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    move to Sealand


    the landlady wants me to rake the leaves, but I don't have a rake
     
    #513 Salty, Nov 5, 2012
  14. mont974x4

    mont974x4 New Member

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    use a set of salad tongs



    My second toe is longer than my big toe.
     
    #514 mont974x4, Nov 5, 2012
  15. jilphn1022

    jilphn1022 New Member

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    Allow your big toe's nail to grow long enough so both the second toe and big toe will be the same length.


    What should I do with all of these egg cartons?
     
    #515 jilphn1022, Nov 13, 2012
  16. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Cut them apart, knit them together into bags, and give them away at Christmas.



    My lips are chapped.
     
    #516 SaggyWoman, Nov 13, 2012
  17. jilphn1022

    jilphn1022 New Member

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    According to Mayo Clinic, you should breathe through your nose...
    or I would suggest that you get a pair of chaps to go with your chapped lips.


    I have a hanged fingernail
     
    #517 jilphn1022, Nov 17, 2012
  18. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Use a sander and push it back.


    I am at the beach and don't want to go home.
     
    #518 SaggyWoman, Nov 23, 2012
  19. saturneptune

    saturneptune New Member

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    Vote Democrat.
     
    #519 saturneptune, Nov 24, 2012
  20. saturneptune

    saturneptune New Member

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    If you do not have a chair to sit in, sit on your fist and lean back on your thumb.
     
    #520 saturneptune, Nov 24, 2012
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