Bad Advice Only

[Carolina Baptist]

Put new string in the weed eater and go for it.


Not much variety for breakfast when I leave for work. Not much open that early.

 

[prophet]

Put new string in the weed eater and go for it.


Not much variety for breakfast when I leave for work. Not much open that early.

Try plain oatmeal.

My eye has sand in it.

 

[Salty]

My eye has sand in it.

Go to the beach


Mrs. Salty thinks we should leave the AC in the window during the entire winter - that way, we don't have to put it back up in the Spring.

 

[Carolina Baptist]

Mrs. Salty thinks we should leave the AC in the window during the entire winter - that way, we don't have to put it back up in the Spring.

Turn it on at 2am, in February :smilewinkgrin:


Furnace needs a little work, and winter is coming.

 

[SaggyWoman]

Spray it down with Freon.


The parking lot outside is slick.

 

[Salty]

Spray
The parking lot outside is slick.

Ask advice from President Clinton


My kitten like to nibble at my toes

 

[Carolina Baptist]

My kitten like to nibble at my toes

Bite him/her back.


Saw a skunk in my yard.

 

[SaggyWoman]

Hand feed it some bologna.




I just hit an armadillo with my car.

 

[prophet]

Hand feed it some bologna.




I just hit an armadillo with my car.

Get his insurance information.

Put your face real close, cuz it is hard to hear what things with tiny mouths say.

I just lost my house.

 

[Carolina Baptist]

I just lost my house.

First response: Oh no. That's not good.

But since the topic is "Bad Advice Only":
Get the whole Baptist Board team together to form a search party. I bet we can find it.


My shoes don't have enough support.

 

[Salty]

My shoes don't have enough support.

Sue the heel


I am addicted to TV judge shows.

 

[Carolina Baptist]

I am addicted to TV judge shows.

TJA (TV Judges Anonymous)


Knees hurt.

 

[Salty]

Knees hurt.

Buy a set of Stilts or a pogo stick


TJA would not accept me

 

[PreachTony]

***Looks like fun. Can I try?***

Buy a set of Stilts or a pogo stick


TJA would not accept me

Cut letters out of magazine to glue together as a way of writing them back and telling them that you accept yourself, and that's all that counts.

My red pen is running out of ink. What to do?

 

[SaggyWoman]

Slit your finger and use your blood.


The housekeeper is not mopping well

 

[PreachTony]

The housekeeper is not mopping well

Next time you dip her in the mop bucket, let her sit in the water for a few seconds to really soak in, then apply a half-turn tug-and-twist method for wringing her out. She should mop fine after that.



My leftover pizza is two-weeks old. Can I still eat it.

 

[Salty]

My leftover pizza is two-weeks old. Can I still eat it.

hard to tell, send it to me, and I will let you know


what happens when this thread hits 1,000 posts

 

[PreachTony]

what happens when this thread hits 1,000 posts

Quite possible that it will self-destruct.



There's an emu and an ostrich fighting in my backyard. Which one should I cheer for?

 

[convicted1]

There's an emu and an ostrich fighting in my backyard. Which one should I cheer for?

Cheer for the one which you'd think is the toughest and least tasty....


I am watching a Muhammed Ali marathon and now "I think I'm pretty". How can I stop this prideful notion?

 

[SaggyWoman]

Hit yourself in the face with boxing gloves.


I need to change clothes to work a show tonight.