Explain this to me

[abcgrad94]

ABC---I personally find just the opposit to be true-----most women I know--it seems I just about have to hold a gun on them to get them to speak to me----like THEY are the ones who are terrified to speak to ME because it may be taken the wrong way---a good majority of the women I know---If I don't initiate the conversation---there won't be any conversation

Bro. Blackbird, if we ever visit your church, you can be sure I'll talk to ya. The good Lord blessed me with the gift of gab!

 

[menageriekeeper]

ABC, I think you should start packing.

Your rolling pin that is. One thunk on the head would put an end to that sort of nonsense.

 

[jaigner]

By the way, I find it funny that folks refer to "lesser civilized" in the U.S. From my point of view, those who live in the cow-herd neighborhoods in Big Cities don't know much about civilized. Move out to the wide open spaces and see what civilized is. Like behind the wheels of cars in the mega metropolises and see who acts civilized.

The lesser civilized are among us everywhere.

 

[jaigner]

I've met a few Baptist men that were like this.

Most of the people I've met like this have been baptist.

Probably just because I was raised baptist.

Please understand I am not claiming that all baptist men are creeps like this.

 

[jaigner]

ABC, I read your description of babysitting, and I couldn't help but wonder -- sometimes we men will ignore other women because we don't want folks to get a notion that we're paying undue attention to womenfolk who ain't our wives.

I even knew one pastor that said, from the pulpit, that if any woman, including ones who were church members, were out walking in the rain, he would not stop to pick them up if he was by himself, because he didn't want anyone to see him alone in his car with a woman who was not his wife. And his wife supported that viewpoint.

John B., former First Houston pastor, used to talk about this all the time. Personally, I don't think it's the appearances that is the issue as much as becoming, shall we say, too well acquainted.

[stinks] for the woman in the rain, though.

I couldn't imagine that any man who believed in this way would treat other women poorly just so he avoided the appearance. That would be pretty strange.

I think it's mostly just ignorant neophytes who were raised this way.

 

[glfredrick]

ABC, I think you should start packing.

Your rolling pin that is. One thunk on the head would put an end to that sort of nonsense.

I'm not sure if you've ever seen any of Tyler Perry's work, but this scene from Madea's Family Reunion is rather poignant, in a humorous sort of way.

(Caution, there are a few uses of the word "hell" in the scene, plus some violence against a woman and later, her man).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4NS-E6XESM&feature=related

 

[Jim1999]

I think in England a lot changed in relations between women and men. Women took on trousers, went to work in factories, and did the work of men, whilst the men were overseas fighting.

There was a time when only men ate at the dining table, whilst women ate in the kitchen. Yet, when less formal we all ate together. After the war, all meals were in common; cultural change!

I went to all boys boarding school. The first female to join my class was in university when a woman dared to sit beside me. I got up and moved. Cultural.

It didn't take long to change. I am still standoffish, and expect I will be to my dying day. Respect, however, is always shown, and I do greet ladies first at church, but only shake hands with men........unless a woman offers her hand first. I do doff my hat though and slightly bow my head.

The Lord did teach me though...Wife, two daughters, no sons,,,,5 female dogs and one male.....and he is neutered...Was tat the lesson?

Cheers, and I do trust I always show respect equally to ladies in here.

Jim

 

[Amy.G]

I'm not sure if you've ever seen any of Tyler Perry's work, but this scene from Madea's Family Reunion is rather poignant, in a humorous sort of way.

(Caution, there are a few uses of the word "hell" in the scene, plus some violence against a woman and later, her man).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4NS-E6XESM&feature=related

She needs to call da PoPo! :laugh:

 

[Gwyneth]

Cheers, and I do trust I always show respect equally to ladies in here.

That is without question, Jim. You are always polite and respectful of everyone.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

I was raised mostly in Kentucky, but I've lived in WV for 18 years. To me, yes, they are rude. For example, some men came to work here on the parsonage. One of them yelled at me because I let my dog out to go potty while they were working and they had left my fence gate open while they were out there, and my dog got out. Completely his fault, not mine, but he literally raised his voice at me over it. When my dh came home, the man acted all nice like nothing ever happened. We've had missionaries over to eat with us, who would not talk to me or even look at me or our children, even if I asked a question, but would ignore me and talk only to my dh.
A local pastor would not even return a greeting of hello or handshake while at church, but warmly greeted my dh. (Although I suspect this was because I was wearing slacks and I think he has a problem with that.)

Recently I babysat 3 children all day long, one of which was an infant, and I cooked dinner for a family because the wife was unable to do either. The husband acted like I had the plague, refused to talk or even thank me when he brought the kids over and picked them up. He'll talk non-stop to my dh, but won't give me the time of day. Even my dh noticed it and was confused.

Holy Cow..... In the North where I live they would not only thank you ....they would pay you....you need to move. Nobody acts that way up here. They even have Women Pastors in the liberal churches & you can wear pants & know body will say a word.

 

[Don]

John B., former First Houston pastor, used to talk about this all the time. Personally, I don't think it's the appearances that is the issue as much as becoming, shall we say, too well acquainted.

[stinks] for the woman in the rain, though.

I couldn't imagine that any man who believed in this way would treat other women poorly just so he avoided the appearance. That would be pretty strange.

I think it's mostly just ignorant neophytes who were raised this way.

Actually, it's based on scripture: 1 Thess 5:22 -- abstain from all appearance of evil....

Although I think leaving a woman to walk in the rain is taking that too far...since even Jesus allowed Himself to left alone with the woman at the well....

 

[jaigner]

Actually, it's based on scripture: 1 Thess 5:22 -- abstain from all appearance of evil...

This passage was referring to a dispute over the use of tongues in the Thessalonian church. We see it misrepresented in this way all the time these days.

 

[preacher4truth]

This passage was referring to a dispute over the use of tongues in the Thessalonian church. We see it misrepresented in this way all the time these days.

I can hardly see any of this as a dispute, in context, that it is a context of tongues.

Can you cite sources?

It looks as if, contextually, the instructions divert away from gifts to further instruction to abstain from all appearance of evil, and not as though this is a reference to tongues, but instead a reference to holiness in general.

Otherwise it seems to strain the text to apply it directly to tongues.


Having looked at 10 or more commentaries, I find nothing supporting that this refers to tongues, although I find your idea intriguing.


:jesus:

 

[annsni]

It really MUST be cultural because as others have said, here in the northeast, we don't get that. At least I've never seen it and I'm involved in a lot. I find most men to be very gracious and I enjoy talking to the men in my church and they talk to me as well. Just today I had a great talk with my pastor, a newbie sign language conversation with a deaf man and then a technical discussion with another man from our church. I love that I feel like I can not only talk to most of them but that each and every one of them would lay down their lives for me - and I'm totally serious on that.

I'm sorry you have that kind of experience. Sometime, you need to come to NY and visit us!

 

[Steven2006]

I like how the NASB translates 1Th 5:22. I think it does a better job at conveying the real meaning of the verse.


"Abstain from every form of evil." 1Th 5:22

Basically whenever evil appears, in any form we should flee from it. This is the real message of that verse.

 

[Benjamin]

Why do some "Christian" men feel that women are so far beneath them, they can ignore or treat women with a lesser standard? Is this a cultural thing? Something taught by extremely conservative preachers? I've run into this quite a bit since living in WV,...

Interesting tread to me, abc, because I recently became friends with a woman/classmate/PK who came from a long line of Baptist pastors (father, grandfathers, and uncles on both sides from the Utah and Colorado areas) and she is certainly having to deal with a lot of trauma and hard feelings related to her upbringing. I can’t go into detail, but I am slowly uncovering quite a few messed up issues concerning those hard feelings, apparently, mostly resulting from repression and legalism.

...and I'm confused and irritated by it.

So am I.

 

[preacher4truth]

I like how the NASB translates 1Th 5:22. I think it does a better job at conveying the real meaning of the verse.


"Abstain from every form of evil." 1Th 5:22

Basically whenever evil appears, in any form we should flee from it. This is the real message of that verse.

Yes Steven. I don't think the interpretation of this is so strict that it only refers to tongues contextually.

I got an NASB for Christmas, and not until, and will begin using it as my main text shortly, and I look forward to it. I like how that verse reads also.

- Blessings

 

[nodak]

I had the lovely experience once in a church business meeting of being told to let the men ask the questions.

Now, bear in mind this was a democratic congregationally governed church by the by-laws.

We were discussing putting a new roof on the old building we had just voted to tear down in a few months when we built the new building. That roof would cost a quarter million.

Pastor presented his idea and asked if there were questions. I stood and asked if there were less expensive patching available since the building was soon to be destroyed.

Pastor shut me down with "let the men handle the stuff the men understand. Your question is silly."

Gentleman in the same pew stood and said "OK, let's settle this as men. Why put an expensive roof on a building we are tearing down so soon? Tell us men."

Upshot was we did put up the new roof but redesigned to a smaller new building, incorporating the old building as classrooms.

Some men forget that God DID give women brains.

 

[preacher4truth]

I had the lovely experience once in a church business meeting of being told to let the men ask the questions.

Now, bear in mind this was a democratic congregationally governed church by the by-laws.

We were discussing putting a new roof on the old building we had just voted to tear down in a few months when we built the new building. That roof would cost a quarter million.

Pastor presented his idea and asked if there were questions. I stood and asked if there were less expensive patching available since the building was soon to be destroyed.

Pastor shut me down with "let the men handle the stuff the men understand. Your question is silly."

Gentleman in the same pew stood and said "OK, let's settle this as men. Why put an expensive roof on a building we are tearing down so soon? Tell us men."

Upshot was we did put up the new roof but redesigned to a smaller new building, incorporating the old building as classrooms.

Some men forget that God DID give women brains.

This preacher literally said it just like that, "your question is silly"?

 

[abcgrad94]

Thanks for the insights here. You all have brought up some excellent points. For the record, all the men who have acted this way towards me (and their wives) are all either IFB or Apostolic. I've noticed both denominations seem to focus on "submission" of women and such. Perhaps that is part of the reason, I don't know.

At any rate, the vast majority of the men here on this forum, I believe, are gentlemen. Thanks for your comments.