The reason for dating

Dating should be limited to the purpose of seeking a mate. If the person is not serious about getting married, and I don't mean 5 or even 2 years down the road, then they should not date.
Even then dates should be limited to learning about each other to see if their interests, religious beliefs and life goals are compatible. It should never be used as a time to see how good the other one is as a lover, not even kissing as kissing is the beginning of the sexual expression.

 

When I was a single pastor, I dated young ladies.....for companionship. I had no intentions of marriage at the time. One time, I took a young sixteen year old girl, with parent's permission, to see Handel's messiah. She often played the piano at the church, and I thought she would like Messiah. Sorry, I see nothing wrong with that at all.

Cheers,

Jim

 

The purpose of dating is to look for that person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Unless you're looking for marriage, there's no reason.
I let one daughter talk me out of that thought, I was proven right, we're back to no dating.
If you're not mature enough for marriage, you're not mature enough to date.
If you're not looking for marriage, there's no purpose to date.

I've heard the argument "well, I need to know what kind of guy or girl I like and to learn how to make a relationship work."

That's a load of baloney. Males and females are all human and if you can't figure out how to get along with humans, you certainly aren't ready to start looking at marriage.

What kind of guy or girl you like? How about human, Christian, and a few other qualities you enjoy in others? That can be figured out with a pen and paper and a little bit of thought.
Getting to know the other person? Yep, good idea, but not if they don't already possess the minimal qualities of who you are looking for, and that can be figured out without dating.

The fact that kids are even interested in spending their time dating rather than focusing on their schooling, goals, and how they'll survive as adults is proof that teens are too young to date. Further proof of that immaturity is shown by schools with nurseries for the kids of the kids and the STD rate among teens.

Yet everyone's parents all say their kid is different. THEIR kid is mature. THEIR kid can handle it. THEIR kid can do it all. Next thing you know, THEIR kid is a parent, has no job, and is struggling to make passing grades.

So yes. The purpose of dating is to find a life partner. Anything else is not only pointless, it's playing with fire.

 

:thumbs::thumbs::thumbs:

 

If you seriously believe that dating is only related to the prospects of marriage, and sexual promiscuity, I think your own mind needs some cleansing. There is nothing wrong with dating.

Get a life!

Cheers,

Jim

 

Jim that is the very reason that dating is an issue and should be limited to seeking a mate and even then it should be used very carefully keeping our hands off one another until the wedding day as even a kiss can flame the fires of our passions. Where we go, what we do, and how we interact with each other are all things to be considered when we date while seeking a mate.
The truth is our minds ARE tainted and the draw and even need for intimate physical relationships is a deep and burning need in most people (99%) young and old. It is the very few who have the gift of celibacy and in those there is no need to date as it would only tend to cloud their efforts to serve the Master.

It is a foolish man or woman of any age who thinks that they can thrust themselves into the ravage arms of dating and not increase the possibility of falling to the sin of the flesh that is the result of our natural passions. Do some escape the temptations that come with dating even though they play with the fire, yes, but it makes it no less foolish. Surveys have shown that around 90 to 95 percent of those who date fall in some manner to the temptation of their lusts.
It is not the wise who thrusts himself into harms way but the fool. The wise knows and accepts that the area of passion is like a burning coal waiting to scorch those who handle it.

I am reminded of the proverbs and the council of the wise not to look into her eyes and the words of Paul that it is good that a man not touch a woman. While it may seem old fashion legalistic or foolish to put up such a barrier as not dating in ones life, it is the fool who rushes into the flames that feeds the passions while claiming I am safe. Seek wisdom and not folly, again I say seek wisdom as she is your friend.

 

Well said!:thumbs:

 

Must be an American thing!!!

Cheers,

Jim

 

Of course Jim if you don't agree with it it must be an American thing. It cannot possibly be that we understand the nature and circumstances of so called dating and do not see the benefits of it. It can only be that it is not well thought out and is simply a traditional American thing.

 

Sorry Jim,

It is hardly an 'American thing,' just a difference of opinion. I consider you a dear friend, but I hear this 'American thing' far too often as a means of dismissal when discussing issues, ideas, and opinions. It seems an easy way to write off folks who disagree.

By the way, I agree that every date is not a potential mate. A date can just be for a fun time.

 

Wouldn't that just be called doing something with a friend? The very nature of the word "date" in our culture has strong romantic implications and it is well understood that the purpose of a date with someone is to further the personal relationship as pertains to the hopes of it becoming a girlfriend/boyfriend situation.

Generally dating leads to deciding to be girlfriend and boyfriend or not, then to engagement, then to marriage. That's the order of things. Somewhere along the line that can be broken. And with all the needless dating, all too often is.

 

Official dictionary definition of date:

6. colloq., a) an engagement or appointment, esp. a person of the opposite sex. b) US a person with whom one has a social engagement.

Nothing to do with marriage.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Semantics, I think.

How often have I agreed to meet up or go someplace with a friend and ended up the plans with, 'Its a date!'

 

So what is the purpose for my wife and I to go out on a date after 30 some years of marriage?

 

Romance, which prove the point.

 

Companionship!

Cheers,

Jim

 

I think this is vital. We go on dates because we enjoy doing things together. 'Every date is a potential mate' does not really fit when a couple have been 'mates' for decades.