Featured Pastor approves living together?

Could you clarify something? The two are going to live together after the boyfriend's lease is up. Is that correct? So am I correct in assuming the boyfriend is going to move in with your friend's daughter? If so, will it just be the two of them in the household?

Is this couple planning on getting married soon?

 

HALLELUJAH!!!

It's a shame because when you sit underneath leadership that does wrong and gives the okay to do wrong, it's time to change churches. In normal circumstances this is where church discipline is supposed to take place. But seeing that the pastor is part of the problem, that no doubt, won't happen.

Just a shame!!!

 

Wow, that is a situation fraught with potential problems. Since they have kids, I presume both the boyfriend and the daughter have been previously married?

I think it's a bad idea to blend two families together without the parents first being married. I can't believe the pastor would counsel that this was an OK situation.

When I first read your post I was maybe, possibly seeing a reason the pastor might have said this would be an OK situation. Something along the lines of the two people are in their early 20's, have never been married, the boyfriend's lease is up and he's got nowhere to live so he's moving into with his finacee's parents for two weeks until the wedding day. He would be under parental supervision until the wedding and they would have separate sleeping arrangements. That MIGHT, MIGHT be something that I could see a pastor saying was OK. But the situation as you've described it? No way.

There are plenty of pastors and some pastor's wives on this site that might want to continue the conversation. I defer to their better judgment.

 

This type of stuff just makes me hot!!! How dare he, a so called man-of-God, give them a license to do that which is unbecoming of a follower of Christ!

Now I disagree that the living together, cohabitation, shacking up is the sin because that's not what Scripture says. Scripture DOES say to Abstain from all appearance of evil. 1 Thess. 5:22. The whole world is gonna assume that if they look like they are playing house, they probably are doing so in every room of the house.

This is just shameful.

 

I would like to post that some folks make such a mockery of their life, that a pastor may be thinking that bringing stability to the home the couple resolve to make anyway is really the best of all options.

No sense in a formal marriage if there is already a "one flesh" relationship that is known to the family and friends.

 

You would be surprised what preachers spout of now day's. I listened to one Sunday that said no where in America is a child going hungry at night before going to bed. Out of touch is not the word for it.

 

To answer the questions:

What should we say (other than Scriptures). "This isn't the way I would have handled the situation, but perhaps he is giving the best advice he knows at the time to give."

What should we do? Nothing, unless you are a member of the assembly or directly involved in the situation.

 

Apparently just another one of those "itching ears", liberalized, preachers.

 

I don't think any other person can see what was in the pastor's heart or mind. Regardless this pastor is encouraging an illicit relationship between these two. Nowhere in the Bible is this encouraged nor approved All Christians are commanded to avoid the appearance of evil . The couple are in a sinful and adulterous relationship. The pastor is encouraging this relationship. The young children are being taught that this type of life is acceptable to the pastor and society in general. The pastor. by encouraging this relationship, has disqualified himself;f to bed as pastor. There is no Biblical reason that such a relationship should be encouraged by a pastor, parent, or any Christian.

 

"For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear."

It is happening at an alarming rate, pastors and churches permitting this in the pews!

 

Perhaps, but perhaps the relationship between the two is the best for the mess they have made of their living. May I suggest that perhaps there is no "encouraging (of) illicit relationship between the two." They apparently are already joined in "one flesh" and perhaps it is well known by family and friends. Therefore, for all Scripture purposes, they may even be considered married, but not having done the paper work by the local social order.

Perhaps there is also certain financial matters to consider. In some situations, the payment(s) resulting from a divorce are changed when a marriage takes place. I know that as believers financial consideration should not be considered, but as there may be benefit change for the children who may perhaps suffer in lack, then that does become an issue.

Of course they are in a "sinful and adulterous relationship."

Is that situation going to change because the pastor says to "stop?" Nope.

So what then should the pastor recommend? What is BEST for the children.

Is it not best to have as stable a situation in the home, with a man and woman as authority figures? Is it not best for the children to then allow the work of the Scriptures and Holy Spirit to do what neither the man or woman can do?

Too often, believers expect the ungodly or the immature to live by standards that are just not a part of the reality of either the ungodly or the immature.

Because of that, there needs to be time for teaching, growing in the Word, and allowing the Holy Spirit to work. As that takes place, either the couple will be shown as fakers, or come to understand, repent, and make proper alignment that is appropriate.

If the couple do under the authority of the Holy Spirit come to understand, repent, and make proper alignment that is appropriate, then the children will also experience such changes and be all the more understanding and accountable to the Scriptures. All to the Glory of the work of God.

Nothing is accomplished when it is expected that the worldly (believer or unbeliever) who have made such a mockery and mess of their living are expected to "go and sin no more" until they come face to face with the Master who knows all about them and realize first hand that authority over their life and living.

So, would I personally advise as the pastor did? Perhaps, understanding the scenario as it has been laid it out. But, then if the actual scenario is different, then perhaps not.

 

I was in a church where the pastor never cared that I was living with my son's dad and had been for 5 years or so. So of course I wanted to continue going to that church!! Then I started really getting into the Word and found a new church (still not thinking much of my living situation). This church is amazing and the more I got involved the more I felt God's conviction. Needless to say, we ended up getting married because the weight became so heavy. Being in a church that taught the Word made a difference, but me deciding that it was not a pastor I should be listening to but the Lord made a world of difference.

 

I learn that the pastors I have had are against that idea. Never have and never will. As living together occurs During marriage. Not before as when you come together in marriage. As God made marriage when you marry, you are united by God and for God into one in Him.

 

Not everyone who has the title 'Pastor' is a Pastor.

Todd Friel on wickedtv has a video where two 'pastors', one was Michael Beckwith and can not remember the other guy's name, approved of gay marriage. The other pastor said homosexuality was a gift of God and Beckwith said people were gay by divine right. Friel posted them saying this on....GASP....Oprah.

It is on youtube if you want to watch it.

 

What a really neat testimony!

This is an example of what I trust the pastor is actually desiring, allowing the work of the Scriptures and the Holy Spirit to convict and convince unto righteousness.

Continue to grow in wisdom and knowledge of the Scriptures and allow God to work moment by moment on your life and living.

Thank you again that you shared.