I would absolutely go to someone who has been divorced and yet shows that he/she has learned from their mistakes and have now had a successful marriage for many years. Heck, I'd rather have marriage advice from them over someone who has been married to the same person for years and is miserable.
As I said in a recent post, who is it who is the best counselor for an alcoholic? One who has struggled with that same sin but has overcome. How about a porn addict? The best person to counsel them is not the lily white man who has never seen even a Victoria's Secret catalogue and who doesn't struggle with this sin but a man who has traveled this same road and overcome.
I don't go to the women friends who have lousy marriages or those who have never struggled with marriage but instead those who I know have traveled through the same struggles I do and I ask them "How did you learn to serve your husband as you do?" That is the one who can truly help me.
While useful information could be gathered from both types of men listed above, the truth is a person who has been divorced three times is more likely to see divorce as a reasonable option. It should not be, except for the biblical reasons. If you really want to get right down to it, we have so many divorces because the world has taught people that divorce is easy, so just get married and if it doesn't work, just get divorced. But, then again, the world has been against the will of God for a long time.
One of the listed qualification is "blameless." How can a thrice divorced man be considered blameless? Just as the old saying goes, "it takes two to tango," it takes two to make a marriage work or not work. One of the biggest divides I'm seeing in this thread is that some people seem to think that God forgiving you of your sin means all consequence of your sin is likewise wiped away, and the Bible itself proves that is not the case.
Take a deeper look at the qualifications: (These are just my thoughts on the qualifications)
1 Timothy 3:2 said:
A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
We discussed at length blameless and the husband of one wife. But we've seemed to skip over the others:
Vigilant - watchful over the flock, desiring to stop worldly influence in whatever way he can
Sober - of a sound mind, focused, disciplined
Of Good Behavior - You don't want a pastor who is out carousing during the week and then in the pulpit on Sunday
Given to Hospitality - willing to help anyone who needs help, open and inviting to visitors and members alike
Apt to Teach - well-studied, deeply entrenched in the word and capable of sharing the scriptures in a meaningful way for those seeking to learn
1 Timothy 3:3 said:
Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
Not given to wine - much debate over this one. A person can drink wine and not be "given to wine," though many baptists hold to a position that no believer should ever drink anything alcoholic ever. I'd say that many words have been bandied about over this topic.
no striker - I've always seen this one similar to not being a brawler. There is a difference in using corporal punishment (spanking) without being a striker or brawler.
not greedy of filthy lucre - a pastor should not seek income from surreptitious sources.
patient - willing to wait on the Lord for guidance, tolerant of the needs of his flock
not a brawler - not a fighter. See "no striker."
not covetous - Similar to the commandments, not coveting neighbors goods or wife. We're instructed in the word that we can be covetous of one thing..."Covet earnestly the best gifts," and even then there is a more excellent way.
1 Timothy 3:4-5 said:
One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
One that ruleth well his own house - a pastor should have his household in order, otherwise what example does he provide the church?
having his children in subjection with all gravity - so long as his children live under his roof, a pastor ought to have control over them and they ought to be well-behaved.
1 Timothy 3:6 said:
Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.
I've always taken this to mean that a pastor ought to be well-studied and well-learned in the word and willing to follow the guidance of the spirit, but it should also be seasoned and tempered with age and knowledge. A person just saved, regardless how he might meet the other qualifications, is eliminated from contention for a pastorship by this qualification alone.
1 Timothy 3:7 said:
Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
A good report is necessary for being a pastor. What profit is a pastor if the community speaks ill of him? How many people will venture into the church he serves if the community lists him under a bad report? A man's Christian deeds and action will lead to a good report. If the community reports ill of a man, there is often a reason, beyond simple jealousy, for the community to look at the man as such. If the man is giving them reason to discredit them, then he stands in danger of falling into reproach.
