Do you actually see men and women as part of a military structure where a jerk of a man can command a woman to do whatever he wishes because of rank of command?
Men and women are part of an undeniable hierarchy, and protestations can do nothing to alter God's hierarchy. A man cannot command a woman to do anything. A man can teach a woman and in matters of teaching God has made plain that men are of higher rank than women.
A husband on the other hand has "command authority" over only his wife and children and only insofar as his commands are Biblical. I.E he doesn't get to ask his wife to proposition the neighbor, or to wear men's clothing.
And yes, if the husband is a jerk the wife is told by God's inspired text to submit and obey such a jerk. Peter explains your exact example.
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;" 1 Peter 3:1
Clearly God wasn't aware of this when He inspired Peter to write the above verse. Perhaps you need to correct Him?That mentality in the military lead to a lot of dead officers in Vietnam at the hands of "friendly fire."
You have a verse on submissive wives winning their husbands to Christ through outstanding submission as an example for the family government, but if you'd like to see a similar rank structure in the Church Government:Perhaps you can point me toward the Bible passage showing the man as lieutenant and the woman as sergeant while the kids as privates.
"We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you" 1 Thessalonians 5:12
"And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." 1 Corinthians 14:35
Your rank categories in parentheses.
Pastor > Husband (Lieutenant) > Wife (Sergeant) > Children (Privates)