No need to apologize for presenting your view, shared with other Calvinists. I do not (a real news flash) accept that a person can be chosen, elected individually, before creation, and not be considered elect until saved. That simply redefines the meaning of the word to fit Calvinism into the text.
If we change or add to the text, such as no charge can be brought against the elect, once they are saved, we are nullifying scripture, making it to no effect.
And again if we were simply comparing two verses, Romans 8:33 and Ephesians 1:4, you would seem to have a plausible view. But when we stack up a half dozen verses against your questionable view of Ephesians 1:4, you side loses plausibility.
2 Thessalonians 2:13 says we are chosen through faith in the truth. Now could we have faith in the truth before we heard the gospel? Nope, faith comings from hearing. We can reconcile these two verses by observing Ephesians 1:4 refers to a corporate, rather than individual election. When God chose His Redeemer before the foundation of the world, He also chose corporately, those the Redeemer would redeem. Hence, He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world.
Now, with that view, all the verses fit together. When we are chosen individually through faith in the truth, we are placed in Christ, and thus no charge can be brought against God's elect.
Still not convinced, consider 1 Peter 2:9-10 where we lived without mercy, and were not a people, but then were a chosen people, and had obtained mercy.
Next how about James 2:5, where God chose those poor to the world, yet rich in faith and heirs to the kingdom promised to those who love him. So yet again we have God choosing individuals not before creation, but during their lives after are rich in faith and love God.
Need more, how about 1 Corinthians 1:26-30 with God choosing individuals to shame others living on earth. All these elections of individuals found in scripture are conditional and occur during the lifetime of the individual.
At the end of the day, you will say, Van you cannot be right because we have 400 years of very bright and godly scholars all saying Calvinism's view is right. But the fact is we also have 400 years where very bright and godly scholars have been saying Calvinism is wrong. JonC, what if both were right, in seeing the other side was wrong.