• Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Bad Advice Only

C

convicted1

Guest
Tell the framers to go and do some roofing and tell the roofers to do some framing. If they don't like it, tell'em "tough"....


Tried alcohol in wrinkles, and now need stitches. But don't want to go to doctor or ER....
 
T

thisnumbersdisconnected

New Member
Force her to watch 24 uninterrupted hours of news stories about "crazy cat ladies" and if she still wants to adopt them, buy the biggest, meanest Rottweiler you can find.

Or just have her committed.

Tomato plants did too well this year ... all the neighbors are lining up in the backyard with pans, waiting for my wife to come out for the nightly watering ...
 
Carolina Baptist

Carolina Baptist

Active Member
thisnumbersdisconnected said:


Tomato plants did too well this year ... all the neighbors are lining up in the backyard with pans, waiting for my wife to come out for the nightly watering ...
Click to expand...

Get plenty of bread, mayo, and pepper. I'll be right over for tomato sandwiches. :thumbs:

Regular Saturday night television. Nothing worth watching on. :sleeping_2:
 
T

thisnumbersdisconnected

New Member
Build mini-aqueducts in your yard, carefully digging small trenches, using a level to make sure of downhill flow, and very small tributaries off the aqueducts in order to make sure that entire section of lawn still gets watered.

Watering and watering, and the grass keeps dying and dying ...
 
T

thisnumbersdisconnected

New Member
Carolina Baptist said:
Looks like your mini-aqueduct idea didn't work. :laugh:
Click to expand...
My sprinklers work. It's just the heat is getting to the grass.
Carolina Baptist said:
Every time I connect the phone and answering machine, neither works.
Click to expand...
Try connecting them to the wall plug instead of each other. If that's not the problem, hire a secretary to sit in your house, answer the phone, and take messages.

City wants to put traffic circles/roundabouts to take traffic off the busy street and into the parking lots of the high school down the block ...
 
Carolina Baptist

Carolina Baptist

Active Member
Put stop lights in the school parking lot. Confuse the road crew.

Insurance and property tax is no longer paid through escrow. (Paid off the house)
 
T

thisnumbersdisconnected

New Member
Take out a reverse mortgage and eat up the equity in your house so you can pay for the insurance and property taxes "painlessly."

Have a toss-up in the Senate primary between an out-of-touch non-resident who's been in D.C. for 47 years, and a doctor who posted x-rays of his patients on Facebook ... :rolleyes:
 
Carolina Baptist

Carolina Baptist

Active Member
Write in campaign for a half-rained frog. He'll so less damage.

People complained all day. So here I am complaining about people complaining.
 
C

convicted1

Guest
Who? You or your wife's legs....


If they're your legs, rub them all over with honey, and then go find a nice hill of fire ants...will take your mind off the mesquito bites...


Neighbor's dog keeps dropping his "packages" off in our yard....
 
T

thisnumbersdisconnected

New Member
Two words: Land mines. Real ones. Make sure you map them so you don't step on one while mowing.

Arguing with brother over whether this ...

spock.jpg


... means "peace and long life" or "live long and prosper" ...

By the way, "my legs." Glad you made no suggestions if they were hers. :laugh:
 
T

thisnumbersdisconnected

New Member
Forget mowing. Let it go to seed. Let the weeds take over. Let the acorns and other tree seeds take root. When the city/county comes calling about neighbor complaints, tell them you're developing an urban nature habitat. Ask them if they'd like to give you a grant to populate it with native flora and fauna.

Brand new expensive wood four foot level's bubbles are off ...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top