Child molesters in church?

[reformedbeliever]

I'm not a mother..... i'm a father. See my profile. I'm not ignorant and have not used the word homosexual. Please give me some credit here. Again.... see that we are involved with a professional Christian counselor, as i've already stated. Thanks for the advice, and I know you mean well. What made you think I'm female?

 

[Kris]

Your post was so caring and insightful, to be honest, I just assumed you were a woman writing it. I re-read your post three times, and thought I had it clear. Though none of what I said would differ anyways. I do apologize.
You did use the word homosexual, as I see nothing homosexual here so that is why I mentioned it. I'll be praying for you

 

[gb93433]

In the states I have lived in, the pastor is obligated by law to make known such a thing to the authorities if it is reported to him.

Where are the deacons in this matter?

 

[reformedbeliever]

Allow me to correct myself Kris. I have not used the word homosexual with my daughter. I have used the word in this forum to describe a sex act between individuals of the same sex. Shall I call it heterosexual? What do you call it Kris?

 

[jesnipes]

RE: Child molesters in church

reformedbeliever,
First let me say how deeply sorry for you and your family, I will be praying for you. I pastor a church in Georgia and for the past two years have had to face this issue two times. Our state, and most others, now require background checks for anyone who will have access to children. Since the local youth and social organization have been forced to take a close look at possible child abusers, they seek the only organization where they feel safe to practice their ungodliness - the church
I have learned the importance of each church having a child abuse policy in place and being followed. Yes it is time consumming, expensive, embarrising, and may cause some to leave the church, but the wellfair of our children demands it.

 

[El_Guero]

reformedbeliever,
First let me say how deeply sorry for you and your family, I will be praying for you. I pastor a church in Georgia and for the past two years have had to face this issue two times. Our state, and most others, now require background checks for anyone who will have access to children. Since the local youth and social organization have been forced to take a close look at possible child abusers, they seek the only organization where they feel safe to practice their ungodliness - the church
I have learned the importance of each church having a child abuse policy in place and being followed. Yes it is time consumming, expensive, embarrising, and may cause some to leave the church, but the wellfair of our children demands it.

I agree. And I am amazed that some Christians do not think that the welfare of our children demands it. I cannot imagine 'witnessing' to a homosexual pedophile predator so that they can pretend and wait upon their next victim. Witness to them, 'yes'. Keep them around children? Not at all.

Yes, the woman in question is 17. Yes, her homelife may have been terrible. Yes, many people are sympathetic. But, that is no reason to imply that her victim has lesser rights because she is a Christian amd the perp is not. We are not talking about a 12 year old dying upon a Cross as a testimony of her faith. We are talking about a homosexual assault upon the rest of this young lady's life.

 

[El_Guero]

Kris,

I regret what happened to you in your life.

From what I have read, this was a homosexual assault. Are you aware of something that I missed?

 

[Kris]

Allow me to correct myself Kris. I have not used the word homosexual with my daughter. I have used the word in this forum to describe a sex act between individuals of the same sex. Shall I call it heterosexual? What do you call it Kris?

Yes I know. You used the word referring to your daughter's 16 yr old perpitrator who is a known homosexual. Someone you displayed love and grace for by showing her in the bible (prior to the incident) what gods will is for her life. I admire you for that raise:
If I understood it correctly. I didn't think to look at your profile, thanks for telling me about that. I just joined. It's taken me forever to type this so I think I will rest soon

My thoughts are: Homosexual and heterosexual are words that describe sexual identities. It is my belief those identities are not complete during the preteen and teen years just as the growing bodies/minds are not complete. This means teens/pre-teens can't be homosexual. They are still developing at that stage, and can experience many stages before adulthood.
When one is molested by the same sex at such a young age like your daughter, a common stage of homosexual feelings may occur. It can occur without the sexual abuse. If this happens to your daughter, she might fear she is homosexual. If you & your wife does not believe she can be homosexual, the fear of being one can be lessened greatly. There is nothing you can "find out" about her. Also, If she is aware those feelings may occur, and are unwanted on her part no matter how strong they become, or how she reacts to them(masturbation) then the guilt can be lessened. I am not saying any this will necessarily occur. I just feel it isn't uncommon.
You said you have a christian couselor, so I am not sure if they would explain or hold these views, not saying they aren't good.

Thanks for your patience :saint: with my posts. Your daughter is blessed to have you :flower:

 

[Marcia]

Kris,

I regret what happened to you in your life.

From what I have read, this was a homosexual assault. Are you aware of something that I missed?

My understanding of what Kris was saying is that kids that age do not always have a clear sexual identity. I would say that's true, especially in this time when sexuality is pushed on younger people and they are exposed to so much, and to the idea in the culture that you are born homosexual.

Kids who have been molested have even more unclear sexual identities, and often repeat the same abuse they had. Although this was a homosexual act, I would not want to label any young person this age as a homosexual. This is exactly what the gay culture is doing -- telling teens if they have "feelings" for the same sex, they are homosexual.

And Reformed Believer, I agree you should contact a lawyer. It's possible the predator's family could go after you for slander if you make it known. Also, I think there are many sensitive legal issues here. Victims and their families often need lawyers.

 

[Kris]

Kris,

I regret what happened to you in your life.

From what I have read, this was a homosexual assault. Are you aware of something that I missed?

Hi El Gerro. Thanks. I am fine with it now, it was a long time ago.

You are correct it is a homosexual assult (meaning in terms the abuse occured between the same sexes)
Oh I wanted to add, not to get off topic, that though I didn't agree with Salamander on this post, I do agree at other times and enjoy his posts very much (In case you read this Salamander:wavey: )

 

[Joseph_Botwinick]

We recently found out our daughter had been molested by someone in our church. There has been a report filed with the police. When I called our pastor about this, all he had to say is "I'm sorry". I told him we could not return to church as long as the predator is there. He chose to keep this predator in our church and pretty much said "see you later". He didn't use those words, it was his lack of saying anything but "I'm sorry".
What should we do, or what would you do? Should the church continue to welcome this person? Is the church a place for saints to come and worship and prepare for battle with the world? Do we bring the enemy in? Thanks in advance for your replies.

Reformed Believer,

I am so sorry that this happened to your daughter. I will certainly keep you and your family in my prayers as you deal with this.

Let me ask you a question: Is it possible that your pastor may have been speechless and didn't really know what to say but I'm sorry? I can say that if I were the pastor, I would be stunned right now. Did he actually say that this pedophile would continue attending the Church? Is it possible there may have been a misunderstanding here? I am really hoping so. If this is not the case, I would leave this Church immediately.

Joseph Botwinick

 

[Trotter]

Many pastors are afraid to "rock the boat" by calling someone out over anything, much less something as serious as this. But, what they don't realize is that their spinelessness reflects on the perception of Christianity in the eyes of thse around him. Basically, he is showing the Christianity is a doormat.

I feel for you and your daughter, reformed. If I were in your place, I wouldn't have the composure or grace that you have. I'd probably be in jail by now, and the other girl and the pastor would be black and blue.

Legal prosecution needs to be brought to bear. Even if it was another 12-year-old, rape is rape, and it should be punished.

The fact that this creature is being allowed back in the church without a whimper is a blight upon Christians everywhere. While her soul is as valuable as anyone else's, her actions have not been addressed and she continues to prey among the lambs. Kind David had a solution for that... a staff and a sling.

 

[Kris]

I am thinking a restraining order might be an option. Found this online
http://danenet.wicip.org/dcccrsa/saissues/chro.html

 

[gekko]

here's my little bit. two cents. i think it applies.

The Kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field:
But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.
But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also.
So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not your sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?
He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilth thou then that we go and gather them up?
But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.
Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.

 

[reformedbeliever]

Thank you again for your replies and prayers. Joe... if the pastor is speechless, he has been speechless for over a month. He has not even called to see how my daughter is doing. The predator is still attending the church. The predator has since rolled her car and almost killed a bunch of other young children - 14 yr old girls. One is still comatose. Pray for this girl... her life may never be the same if she lives.

 

[bapmom]

Bapmom,

If this was your child, you would expect us to be much kinder to you.

El Guero,

how was I unkind?

We don't know that her actions have not been addressed by the pastor.

True, no action has been made public, but how publicly known is her activity? And if her actions are so widely known, how is it that so many other church members are allowing her access to their younger kids?

reformed, like I said, I think you are right. I don't know how it looks like Ive been unkind........I certainly never meant to be. But there is another side to this.

You are absolutely right that she needs prayer.

Your daughter is in a loving, safe, stable home I assume. With God as her Rock and you and her mother supporting her, this can be a one-time event that happened to her, rather than something that defines her for the rest of her life. I am not minimizing what this other girl did to her, just trying to give you hope that this does not have to ruin your daughter's perception of relationships or of herself.

 

[Joseph_Botwinick]

Thank you again for your replies and prayers. Joe... if the pastor is speechless, he has been speechless for over a month. He has not even called to see how my daughter is doing. The predator is still attending the church. The predator has since rolled her car and almost killed a bunch of other young children - 14 yr old girls. One is still comatose. Pray for this girl... her life may never be the same if she lives.

Reformed Believer,

I guess I didn't catch all of this information since I really only read the first few posts before I commented. I apologize. You need to leave that Church.

Joseph Botwinick

 

[reformedbeliever]

We left the day we found out. I don't want my wife to be charged with assult.

 

[pinoybaptist]

With all these things she has done, it is absolutely a riddle for me why the pastor has not disciplined her yet. Maybe, there's something more than meets the eye ? I hope not. But a pastor's primary responsiblity is to the entire flock, not just one who is probably not even sheep.

 

[El_Guero]

Reformed,

I prayed for you and your family again today. I prayed for that young lady the perpetrator put in a coma. It is a shame that she is allowed to roam free and attempt another assault with a car or her evil.

God bless and keep you.

Wayne