Well..
In February of 1995 when I was 17 years old, I got saved with some friends I had made at a charismatic church, so obviously, since that is where I heard the gospel at, it made sense that I would attend that particular church.
As a baby Christian, I only knew very little. I was raised as a Catholic, so I knew some of the basics, but actually applying the bible to my life was very very new. I loved it.
I especially loved the worship services. I loved singing and clapping my hands, and lifting my hands up and singing out with my whole heart and soul to my God. I truly had the joy of the Lord.
Then came the day where my youth Pastor asked me if I would like to be filled with the Holy Spirit. This is where things kinda got a little weird. They layed hands on me and prayed with me, and nothing happened, but to appease them, I started muttering the first things that came to my mind.. and they bought it., I was a total faker though. I was just mumbling nonsense.
The even stranger thing about this, was that they convinced me that this was the real thing, so I would do this at home in my prayer closet. I started to believe that it was the real thing as well.
I also, have really bad asthma, and they convinced me that I was already healed, and that I just needed to receive my healing. They had me chanting over and over "I believe that I receive".. and kept giving me all the healing scriptures that were in the bible to meditate on.
I still have asthma to this day.
However
Our youth group went on a missions trip to Chihuahua Mexico. We saw so much poverty. It was so hard to believe that people actually lived in the conditions that they did.
We led a number of people to Christ, and layed hands on them and prayed with them, and the prayers came TRUE!!!!
WHat we did, was went around to all the houses in the villages and knocked on doors and told the people that there would be a drama in the park in 5 minutes. Most of the people would go to the park, and we would perform a drama, followed by some preaching and then an invitation.
One time, while knocking on a door, one of our leaders came about an elderly man. THey asked him to come out to the drama, and the man told him that he couldnt walk that far, so no.. he wouldnt be able to go. The leader asked if he could pray for the man, and then man said yes. So Eric, our leader prayed for him and for his healing and then left. In the middle of our drama we all saw an old man walking towards us. The people of the village seemed absolutely shocked. After the play was over we talked to the man.. All he kept saying was "jesus cristo, jesus cristo!" He was completely healed. He gave his cane to our leader Eric as a souveneir.. and what an amazing souveneir.. The fact that just about this whole entire village got saved from this miracle made the whole thing even more real..
the strange thing about me, is even though I SAW THIS WITH MY OWN TWO EYES, I still have doubt. I still doubt this was God. I still think it might have been a coincedence..
Also, we were in another village, and we were talking to a lady and we asked her if there was anything we could pray for. She asked us to pray for rain because it hadnt rained in many months and they had no water. So, we prayed with her for rain.
Later on that very night, in another village that wasnt very far away at all, out of NOWHERE it starts to POUR DOWN RAIN!!!!!
Again, I see this with my very own eyes, but I still doubt.
Isnt that strange? Nonbelievers all the time talk about God giving signs or what-not, and our response is that the one who believes without seeing is blessed, but isnt it funny that even when God clearly shows us and performs miracles, we doubt it is Him?
Well..Time went by and I met my husband and we got married at this church and stayed for about a year. My husband and I left the charismatic church because they got into the perverted gospel of prosperity there, and also because my husband wasnt comfortable with all the speaking in tongues that went on there. When I have visited that church recently, its all "name it and claim it" and tongues without interpreters and they are in serious disobedience. .. Now we find ourselves looking at Baptist Churches, which I LOVE, but my husband isnt the biggest fan. He thinks their praise and worship music is dead, and just standing there singing out of a hymn book is not really praising God. Though, both of us are a lot more comfortable without all the talk of tongues and miraculous healings.
My concern though is this.. it is the comfortable factor. I am a lot more comfortable believing that tongues are not for this time, and I cling to the scripture that proves this like glue, even though, I have read the scripture (1 Cor 13:8) about a thousand times, and it doesnt really say that they have passed.. it just says that they will pass.
I am a lot more comfortable not having to have the faith that God still heals us of our illnesses today. I have heard great a number of baptists say that it has to be in God's will to heal you.. but I have read so many healing scriptures over the 9 years I have been saved, and I dont remember even one of them mentioning that sometimes it isnt God's will to heal you..
so, I think that sometimes I am just an unbelievin' believer. I am more comfortable if I dont have to have any faith in anything exept my salvation..
This worries me.
I have been fed lies at my old church.. I know it. I know I didnt really have a secret "prayer language".. I know that God does not want everyone to be gazillionaire.. I dont believe there is any scriptural proof to praying in tongues as a "prayer language", but I dont see any scriptural proof that tongues WITH AN INTERPRETER has passed away. To be fair, at my old church, about 8 times out of 10, there was an interpreter.. but your "prayer language" was something different altogether.
I am sick of falling into wrong doctrine. I just keep praying that God will show me the truth in His word and that he would convict me as to whether or not these things that I hear are true.. I just wonder if anybody else has these concerns.
Emily
In February of 1995 when I was 17 years old, I got saved with some friends I had made at a charismatic church, so obviously, since that is where I heard the gospel at, it made sense that I would attend that particular church.
As a baby Christian, I only knew very little. I was raised as a Catholic, so I knew some of the basics, but actually applying the bible to my life was very very new. I loved it.
I especially loved the worship services. I loved singing and clapping my hands, and lifting my hands up and singing out with my whole heart and soul to my God. I truly had the joy of the Lord.
Then came the day where my youth Pastor asked me if I would like to be filled with the Holy Spirit. This is where things kinda got a little weird. They layed hands on me and prayed with me, and nothing happened, but to appease them, I started muttering the first things that came to my mind.. and they bought it., I was a total faker though. I was just mumbling nonsense.
The even stranger thing about this, was that they convinced me that this was the real thing, so I would do this at home in my prayer closet. I started to believe that it was the real thing as well.
I also, have really bad asthma, and they convinced me that I was already healed, and that I just needed to receive my healing. They had me chanting over and over "I believe that I receive".. and kept giving me all the healing scriptures that were in the bible to meditate on.
I still have asthma to this day.
However
Our youth group went on a missions trip to Chihuahua Mexico. We saw so much poverty. It was so hard to believe that people actually lived in the conditions that they did.
We led a number of people to Christ, and layed hands on them and prayed with them, and the prayers came TRUE!!!!
WHat we did, was went around to all the houses in the villages and knocked on doors and told the people that there would be a drama in the park in 5 minutes. Most of the people would go to the park, and we would perform a drama, followed by some preaching and then an invitation.
One time, while knocking on a door, one of our leaders came about an elderly man. THey asked him to come out to the drama, and the man told him that he couldnt walk that far, so no.. he wouldnt be able to go. The leader asked if he could pray for the man, and then man said yes. So Eric, our leader prayed for him and for his healing and then left. In the middle of our drama we all saw an old man walking towards us. The people of the village seemed absolutely shocked. After the play was over we talked to the man.. All he kept saying was "jesus cristo, jesus cristo!" He was completely healed. He gave his cane to our leader Eric as a souveneir.. and what an amazing souveneir.. The fact that just about this whole entire village got saved from this miracle made the whole thing even more real..
the strange thing about me, is even though I SAW THIS WITH MY OWN TWO EYES, I still have doubt. I still doubt this was God. I still think it might have been a coincedence..
Also, we were in another village, and we were talking to a lady and we asked her if there was anything we could pray for. She asked us to pray for rain because it hadnt rained in many months and they had no water. So, we prayed with her for rain.
Later on that very night, in another village that wasnt very far away at all, out of NOWHERE it starts to POUR DOWN RAIN!!!!!
Again, I see this with my very own eyes, but I still doubt.
Isnt that strange? Nonbelievers all the time talk about God giving signs or what-not, and our response is that the one who believes without seeing is blessed, but isnt it funny that even when God clearly shows us and performs miracles, we doubt it is Him?
Well..Time went by and I met my husband and we got married at this church and stayed for about a year. My husband and I left the charismatic church because they got into the perverted gospel of prosperity there, and also because my husband wasnt comfortable with all the speaking in tongues that went on there. When I have visited that church recently, its all "name it and claim it" and tongues without interpreters and they are in serious disobedience. .. Now we find ourselves looking at Baptist Churches, which I LOVE, but my husband isnt the biggest fan. He thinks their praise and worship music is dead, and just standing there singing out of a hymn book is not really praising God. Though, both of us are a lot more comfortable without all the talk of tongues and miraculous healings.
My concern though is this.. it is the comfortable factor. I am a lot more comfortable believing that tongues are not for this time, and I cling to the scripture that proves this like glue, even though, I have read the scripture (1 Cor 13:8) about a thousand times, and it doesnt really say that they have passed.. it just says that they will pass.
I am a lot more comfortable not having to have the faith that God still heals us of our illnesses today. I have heard great a number of baptists say that it has to be in God's will to heal you.. but I have read so many healing scriptures over the 9 years I have been saved, and I dont remember even one of them mentioning that sometimes it isnt God's will to heal you..
so, I think that sometimes I am just an unbelievin' believer. I am more comfortable if I dont have to have any faith in anything exept my salvation..
This worries me.
I have been fed lies at my old church.. I know it. I know I didnt really have a secret "prayer language".. I know that God does not want everyone to be gazillionaire.. I dont believe there is any scriptural proof to praying in tongues as a "prayer language", but I dont see any scriptural proof that tongues WITH AN INTERPRETER has passed away. To be fair, at my old church, about 8 times out of 10, there was an interpreter.. but your "prayer language" was something different altogether.
I am sick of falling into wrong doctrine. I just keep praying that God will show me the truth in His word and that he would convict me as to whether or not these things that I hear are true.. I just wonder if anybody else has these concerns.
Emily
