Cover up!!

[rbell]

If it were me in that position, I would tell her to never come back. Flashing married men, especially the Pastor, shouldn't be tolerated. She's trouble.

It should be addressed, yes. But our goal is repentance & restoration.

First, we would need to make sure that we didn't mis-interpret an accident or such as deliberate sin.

Second, our approach should be done in love. That doesn't mean capitulation to sin, but it does mean that in upholding standards we do so with kindness & gentleness.

 

[abcgrad94]

This is where Titus 2 needs to be read and applied by the older ladies of the church. I don't think a pastor should tell another woman her dress is bothering him, he should tell his wife or another lady and let her say something. If a man says something like that to another woman, it could be misconstrued and cause a lot of embarassment for both parties.

It would be good to have a woman address this issue with the ladies, and point out some practical suggestions.

 

[USN2Pulpit]

okay...

...i'll reply here.

There is nothing remotely sexual about nursing a baby. It is a completely natural and lovely function.

People who are afraid they may be "turned on" by such an activity need to examine their own hearts for the perversions which may lie within. Those who are offended are in actuality offended at God for providing this means of nourishment and bonding to babies.

Having said that - in our culture, it is wise and respectful to be modest even while nursing. But I, too, have spent long periods of time in nations where this was not something to be embarrassed or shocked about.

I think the greater concern is the issue of modesty in dress and apparal. This is a very big issue for men - most of whom are visual in nature.

I think it all comes down to context...

 

[Marla]

People who are afraid they may be "turned on" by such an activity need to examine their own hearts for the perversions which may lie within. Those who are offended are in actuality offended at God for providing this means of nourishment and bonding to babies..

Please refrain from calling it a perversion, your opinion only. Fornication is also a perversion btw.
Offended people are "not in actuality offended at God for providing a means of nourishment..." that's crazy.
Your post is full of false conclusions.

 

[USN2Pulpit]

I accept your criticism - and disagree.

God gave women this method of nourishing and bonding with their babies. Why should we be offended at it? I'm certainly not. Are you?

The perversion I speak of is that which brings on sexual excitement as a result of seeing a baby nursing. I stand behind my statement - meaning of course that this action should not provoke immoral thoughts.

 

[Salty]

I accept your criticism - and disagree.

God gave women this method of nourishing and bonding with their babies. Why should we be offended at it? I'm certainly not. Are you?
.

God gave us a method of disposing my diet soda. But I would expect others to be offended...

Many things are natural ... but are expected to be done in private.

Salty

 

[USN2Pulpit]

Well put - we should not intentionally offend others.

But that wasn't my point.

At this point, I'll bow out of this thread. I'll just wind up defending my view, and that may be unproductive.

Let me just say that IMHO, I am in no way offended when a woman nurses her baby when she covers herself while doing so. She does this for her own modesty - which is commendable. But I can have a conversation or preach - and not be affected, offended, or distracted by it at all.

 

[Joe]

I can honestly say that I have never been enticed by a nursing woman. It is not some "intimate, private act intended only for a man and woman."

Except we certainly can't discount the truth. It happens and there is no need to point fingers at anyone, it's life.
On any given night, the majority of women who have a human mouth on them *in this manner* are not babies.

My wife was always careful and decent, but there is not need to "run off to the bathroom" if the baby is hungry.

My wife was careful and decent also, most women are.
Yet when privacy was available, she took it out of respect for others.
Sometimes she nursed in our car, which was parked away from pedestrians.

Very rarely do I see a need for a woman to nurse in public. In our area, bathrooms are available if there is an emergency (a need to nurse)

However, immodest, enticing dress is a whole different issue. Someone needs to lovingly instruct women who often don't have a clue what they are doing.

We will have to disagree here. Immodest dress means a ladies private parts are covered, even if it is to a lesser degree. No chance to be "flashed". Every red blooded man has wondered what "they" look like, and a baby attatched to it doesn't change that. Even women do that to other women so I think nursing ought to be done in private or around very close friends. It's an extremely intimate act.

Immodest dress is the norm here, much different than a woman nursing in a church where most men just sit there bored wanting any reason to direct their attention anywhere except the sermon. In church, it's too easy to keep looking at a nursing mother, if even, out of boredom. Especially for kids. I don't want my son seeing a naked woman until he is married so we would not attend a church which allowed this.

Luckily, God has various types of churches for various types of people...

 

[Joe]

Well, first off, if you've been to a fair like that (it's in a village - so it's on all the streets in the town), then you know what it's like. There is NO place to go where it's "private" other than those gross porta-potties which I'd never take my own food into - no less think that I should nurse my baby there. I was very discreet - fully covered - and therefore not immodest at all. He just gets eeked out by the idea of nursing (well, used to - he's now married and has had a breastfed son and is expecting his second). I had already been nursing (sorry - mistyped - I meant to say that after 10 minutes of nursing, I stopped to burp the baby - too late to fix it...) and he sat down at the corner table with me. I went to the corner, facing away from everyone so that I could be a bit more discreet and he came to sit with me. It wasn't MY fault. LOL



Actually, they no longer allow alcohol at the festival and it's a very family friendly one. They have lots of stuff for the kids to do and I knew my then 2 year old would have loved the sights and sounds.



Well, I think that it is not necessarily an intimate act and it's just in the last 70 years or so since formula became big that women have no longer been nursing in public. I've seen pictures of women from back at the turn of the century who had to unbutton their blouse to nurse - thus exposing their whole chest. That was the norm back then. It's just more recently that breasts have been changed to sexual toys rather than food for babies.

Well, that would be rather indiscreet to announce to everyone that I was nursing. I laughed because he had NO clue and was fine - until he realized (after the fact) what I was doing. He laughed about it too (and he learned from me that nursing is not eeky but a perfectly normal, proper thing to do with babies.

I was always discreet with my nursing and always would go someplace else to feed the baby if I had the opportunity without being disruptive. But there were times where it was best to just nurse the baby right there and that's what I did. So I've nursed pretty much everywhere. As I said, no one would see a thing and my baby would be happy. I think if more women nursed in public, it would become more normal for everyone to see and it would not be so much of an issue.

Oh, ok. I understand. You are more respectful that I thought :thumbs: Good for you

 

[chuck2336]

It should be addressed, yes. But our goal is repentance & restoration.

First, we would need to make sure that we didn't mis-interpret an accident or such as deliberate sin.

Second, our approach should be done in love. That doesn't mean capitulation to sin, but it does mean that in upholding standards we do so with kindness & gentleness.

Well said! Everything must be done for the purpose of lifting folks up!

 

[Mexdeaf]

We also need to bear in mind that these situations will require different responses depending upon who the 'immodest' person is. If it is a first- or second- (or even perhaps a third- or fourth- ) time likely unsaved visitor I probably wouldn't say much. I know some preachers that would get up on the pulpit and call them nasty names, but I digress.

However if it is a person who professes Christ and ought to know better, then some discipling by a godly and wise woman is definitely in order.

 

[Steven2006]

IMHO when it comes to dress, except for the most extreme circumstances (one we probable would never encounter) a visitor should always be made to feel welcome, and nobody should give any "looks" that would make them feel uncomfortable. If it is a member then someone close to him or her should talk to them privately and in a humble manner.

As far as breast feeding, if it is just as easy to go to the foyer that might be best, but overall I think it shouldn't be a big deal if done discreetly.

 

[rbell]

I would express concern that there could be udder confusion here....


....but I won't.

 

[Steven2006]

I would express concern that there could be udder confusion here....


....but I won't.

Ba Da Bump (in my best drum impression)

 

[queenbee]

There ought to be common decency and thoughtfulness. My wife nursed all 6 of our children, in church, in restaurants, at the mall, at public parks, and anyplace else we went. I have the same problems with the flesh as any man,but I can honestly say that I have never been enticed by a nursing woman. It is not some "intimate, private act intended only for a man and woman." My wife was always careful and decent, but there is not need to "run off to the bathroom" if the baby is hungry.

However, immodest, enticing dress is a whole different issue. Someone needs to lovingly instruct women who often don't have a clue what they are doing.

Well said C4K!

 

[Salty]

 Originally Posted by C4K There ought to be 
common decency and thoughtfulness. My wife 
nursed ... in church, ...and anyplace else we 
went. .... It is not some "intimate, private act 
intended only for a man and woman." My wife 
was always careful and decent, ...

</DIV>

The Key pharse is "Careful and decent" ie using a blanket to fully cover little Billy

Salty

 

[annsni]

God gave us a method of disposing my diet soda. But I would expect others to be offended...

Many things are natural ... but are expected to be done in private.

Salty

I knew someone would equate a nourishing food that God created to feed babies with feces and urine. Thanks for not letting me down.

 

[Joe]

I think I told this story when I joined the BB

Right after my wife was baptized (not Baptist), within two weeks a group of older ladies got together and confronted her about her dress attire. Funny thing is, if the person who "had the problem" would have simply asked her to do them a favor and dress more modestly, she would have complied without hesitancy. A few church ladies called afterwards, asking what happened when she was "confronted".

Yet this "gossip" went rampid through the church, and by the time it got to her, she was quite embarrassed. We both didn't know what to think, I mean there has to be bigger issues in that church than her clothing attire. Talk about weird...
She didn't know who her friends were, as I wondered that too. Many just had no class, didn't know any better.
She never went back, until maybe a year or so ago. I attended for a little while with our son, but got tired of answering the same old question of "where is your wife?"

So it's not surprising that I say, don't involve others, and don't make a big deal of it. Just ask them to dress more modest as a favor to you. You seem very sweet, I can't see them not complying to your wishes.

 

[queenbee]

I think I told this story when I joined the BB

Right after my wife was baptized (not Baptist), within two weeks a group of older ladies got together and confronted her about her dress attire. Funny thing is, if the person who "had the problem" would have simply asked her to do them a favor and dress more modestly, she would have complied without hesitancy. A few church ladies called afterwards, asking what happened when she was "confronted".

Yet this "gossip" went rampid through the church, and by the time it got to her, she was quite embarrassed. We both didn't know what to think, I mean there has to be bigger issues in that church than her clothing attire. Talk about weird...
She didn't know who her friends were, as I wondered that too. Many just had no class, didn't know any better.
She never went back, until maybe a year or so ago. I attended for a little while with our son, but got tired of answering the same old question of "where is your wife?"

So it's not surprising that I say, don't involve others, and don't make a big deal of it. Just ask them to dress more modest as a favor to you. You seem very sweet, I can't see them not complying to your wishes.

That is totally uncalled for (not your story, but the ladies? behaviour). Under no circumstances do you hold each other accountable and then use a 'megaphone' approach to blab about someone else's 'sin', whatever that might be. I am so sorry your wife was dealt with in this awful manner. Always, it must be done in a quiet, discreet way so as to uplift, not to deliberately hurt someone else's feelings. I wonder if those same ladies might have been shamed into apologizing had they actually been told the truth why your wife was no longer attending church?

 

[BaptistBarb]

I knew someone would equate a nourishing food that God created to feed babies with feces and urine. Thanks for not letting me down.

Pretty gross, ain't it :BangHead: