Cover up!!

Hoped my wife would answer you but apparently not.

It was a very dysfunctional church. There was alot of illegal activity. Pastor was removed from his position a yr or so after we left due to other issues between him and female church members (nothing illegal). He was a close friend of mine at the time, pretty messed up guy.

Just one example- when the youth group went on a hike, an 18 yr old rapist (rape- the real thing, not statchatory rape) was left unsupervised in the woods with a 13 yr old girl he had openly been holding hands with in youth group. Pastor, Deacons and others knew his probation requirements were that he not be around children. They didn't care. His grandparents, also church members called my cell phone hearing that we were on a hike and he was alone with a child. I guess his mother and he had to move a few times because he was accused of rape a few times prior in other states.
His grandparents were now taking care of him, they were convinced he was guilty. My wife was studied with them once a week, we still see them. Nice people.
Anyway, I found them in the woods, took her home and explained what had happened. Her parents didn't allow her to attend church again, good decision.

It looks good to a Probatation Officer if one is baptized, so many pretend to be Christians. This is only ONE story, that church was a mess.

I believe many of the church members to be very sick individuals. We didn't go to church for some years after that.

Over a year ago, maybe almost two years now, we were forced to be in a church building for supervised visits regarding a foster child we had at the time. He attended that church before coming to us, and wanted to continue. I made it clear we were only there to allow him to participate in church and youth group, we weren't interested for ourselves, but appreciated their efforts.
They handled the children so well, I was completely blown away....
The leaders had a great respect for me because I wouldn't blindly trust any of them, made sure I was present at youth group, church and field trips. I never left him alone.

They started asking me to help out, or maybe I offered, but it became like I was one of the leaders. The kids were bonding to me, and I helped teach the classes. Sometimes my wife would fill in for me. The kids didn't understand I attended church only because our foster child wanted to. Obviously, you can't help for very long if you aren't a church member It must have been a touchy situation for the Pastor and everyone, as they do not allow anyone to help in youth group unless you have been a church member for some months, and you certainly can't teach or lead a class. It became awkward when a child asked me about my testimony, and other questions of why I like their church (I think), do I have a son, why doesn't he attend church with me, etc.. The two leaders looked at me, you could hear a pin drop. My answer caused one of them to cry, it was kindof embarrassing but I can't remember what I said. It meant I loved it there, and would continue, and bring our son. Again, the kids didn't know I wasn't a member. Then we started bring our son to church. Upon joining, they didn't officially introduce us into the church, tried to keep our joining somewhat subtle. Everyone gets along well, only slight problems in the kids dept, nothing serious, but that is to be expected. No one is perfect, and they put up with me...:laugh: Sorry, i guess I started babbling on here...

As to whether the ladies in our other church would have felt ashamed of their actions,her thoughts are it's hard to tell. She felt they didn't like her as a person, must've though of her as their "pet project" (fulfilling the great commission). Guess she didn't live up to their man made standards.
She was dressed fine, but dress attire is often an opinion.