• Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Dealing with a wife that overspends too often

Status
Not open for further replies.

corndogggy

Active Member
Site Supporter
I have a foolproof budgeting plan. Take the fool out of the equation. :wavey:

Every other Thursday I pick up my check at the office, go home, sign it on the back and hand it to my wife. She still has her first communion money and she ain't even Catholic. She has account headings for all our expenses starting with our tithe, fixed expenses and discretionary funds for vacations, anticipated future outlays and a reserve fund for just in case you never know expenditures.

Personally, I'd like to go to Bass Pro and lighten their inventory. I told madre it was good for the economy. Now I know if madre ain't buying it I'm not either.

This isn't applicable to most people but what I did was take my normal salary and put it in the shared accounts. Basically we pay insurance, mortgage, weekly groceries, big things like that out of it. Then we both started side businesses. Our gas, individual meals, fun things, etc. each come out of these accounts. So basically we can each handle our own finances and do whatever we want without jeopardizing the mortgage or grocery bill.

So yeah separate checking accounts is wonderful, but only if you have separate incomes coming in. If one partner is dependent upon the other, it doesn't work.
 
My compliments to Mrs. Numbers. I assumed that the lady in your avatars was your daughter.
tumblr_inline_mrhz6cwNbD1s2o53o.gif


That's what'cha get fer assumin'!
 

padredurand

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
This isn't applicable to most people but what I did was take my normal salary and put it in the shared accounts. Basically we pay insurance, mortgage, weekly groceries, big things like that out of it. Then we both started side businesses. Our gas, individual meals, fun things, etc. each come out of these accounts. So basically we can each handle our own finances and do whatever we want without jeopardizing the mortgage or grocery bill.

So yeah separate checking accounts is wonderful, but only if you have separate incomes coming in. If one partner is dependent upon the other, it doesn't work.

madre stayed home with the ankle biters. I brought home the bacon and she cooked it! She makes a few dollars here and there as a contract musician for a few local public schools but for the most part I am the sole wage earner. She planned on working outside the home once the kids were all gone. Our oldest is disabled and didn't move out of the house until he was in his 20's. He moved out, my Mamma died and we got Dad. Dad had a stroke and is in a nursing home and......

We ended up with our grandson to raise. He was 4 months old at the time. That was 4 years ago. Guess who gets to be the sole wage earner still?

This is what I find hard to understand about this topic: how do folks get so upside down in their finances? I've been bi-vocational for most of my 22 years in ministry. I have never made over $30,000 in all that time combining what income I derive from the church and my secular employment. We have all the same expenses like everybody else: rent, utilities, taxes, insurance, groceries, education debt, diapers...

We have no debt. madre makes car payments to ourselves so when it's time to get a car we have cash on hand to pay for it. We don't have the newest cars on the block but they are both safe and reliable. Our son's illness wiped out the previous 20 years worth of hard work and investments so we've managed the last 20 through good stewardship.
 

Revmitchell

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
madre stayed home with the ankle biters. I brought home the bacon and she cooked it! She makes a few dollars here and there as a contract musician for a few local public schools but for the most part I am the sole wage earner. She planned on working outside the home once the kids were all gone. Our oldest is disabled and didn't move out of the house until he was in his 20's. He moved out, my Mamma died and we got Dad. Dad had a stroke and is in a nursing home and......

We ended up with our grandson to raise. He was 4 months old at the time. That was 4 years ago. Guess who gets to be the sole wage earner still?

This is what I find hard to understand about this topic: how do folks get so upside down in their finances? I've been bi-vocational for most of my 22 years in ministry. I have never made over $30,000 in all that time combining what income I derive from the church and my secular employment. We have all the same expenses like everybody else: rent, utilities, taxes, insurance, groceries, education debt, diapers...

We have no debt. madre makes car payments to ourselves so when it's time to get a car we have cash on hand to pay for it. We don't have the newest cars on the block but they are both safe and reliable. Our son's illness wiped out the previous 20 years worth of hard work and investments so we've managed the last 20 through good stewardship.

If I remember correctly he has a bunch of student loans.
 

padredurand

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
If I remember correctly he has a bunch of student loans.

Don't we all? The cemetery I attended was funny about tuition and books being paid. It must have been greed on their part. But I gave them my word I would pay back the money I used to get ejumakated. I did that even though I made less than $10,000 at my first church without a second job.

My son's illness set us back nearly $80,000 after our insurance dropped him on his 19th birthday. We liquidated every asset we had, took a big tax hit to boot and managed to pay every penny.

I'm not buying the claim that it is impossible to repay debts. If a person refuses to honor their promise to pay they have lied and stolen someone else's money. A liar and thief is not fit for ministry of any kind.
 
... If a person refuses to honor their promise to pay they have lied and stolen someone else's money. A liar and thief is not fit for ministry of any kind.
Paraphrasing the fictional Will Sonnet: "No bag. Just fact."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, settles that.

I believe we're all done here.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

quantumfaith

Active Member
Evan: I don't understand why you are airing dirty laundry about your wife again. It's just not the right thing to do. That kind of stuff should not be aired in public --take it to a private forum.

You have spoken negatively about her numerous times on the BB. How would you like it if she was talking about you behind your back on another forum? Take it to spiritually mature men that you know face-to-face.

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
 

asterisktom

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
I have a foolproof budgeting plan. Take the fool out of the equation. :wavey:

Every other Thursday I pick up my check at the office, go home, sign it on the back and hand it to my wife. She still has her first communion money and she ain't even Catholic. She has account headings for all our expenses starting with our tithe, fixed expenses and discretionary funds for vacations, anticipated future outlays and a reserve fund for just in case you never know expenditures.

Personally, I'd like to go to Bass Pro and lighten their inventory. I told madre it was good for the economy. Now I know if madre ain't buying it I'm not either.

Excellent. My case is very similar. I am thankful that my wife and I, for the most part, see eye to eye. I leave most of the financial details to her. It is one less thing for me to worry about. When I really want/need something (like a new laptop when I return to the States) I just buy it. (I have also learned to be less impulsive on what I buy.)

But this comes after decades of marriage. In the early years, we also had our share of misspending and miscommunications. It was a hard lesson that our actions concerning "unrighteous mammon" is one valid indication of spiritual maturity.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top