Dealing with a wife that overspends too often

[Don]

"Godly tone"?

Was it a "godly tone" when Jesus called the pharisees "vipers and hypocrites"? Or when He referred to a woman as a dog? (a serious slur in Middle Eastern countries)

Or when Paul rebuked Peter?

Sometimes the rebukes are harsh; but they're always godly. You just have to decide if your skin is thick enough to accept them, or if you want momma to pat you on the head and let you cry on her shoulder.

 

[go2church]

This is hardly the right place for such a conversation. I would urge the moderators to close it and pull it down.

 

[beameup]

For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.
For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Romans 8:5-6

 

[corndogggy]

And if she's mad, she might resort to more "retail therapy."

People do this because they are bored and/or miserable. If someone has a spending problem, they are not happy. There are some deep rooted psychological problems going on, and going to a new church or listening to Dave Ramsey isn't going to solve it.

 

[salzer mtn]

Thank you Jesus for my wife.

 

[Crabtownboy]

I am sorry some are attacking you. You asked for help, so ............................some practical advice.

1. Sit down and discuss a monthly allowance for both of you.

2. Credit/debit cards can be only used when both agree on a purchase.

3. Put the amount of money [cash] agreed upon in an envelope. One for each person. No matter what, no more cash.

4.An envelope cannot be overspent. When it is empty it is empty. It is not a bad idea to have the entire monthly budget in envelopes; one for groceries for instance, another for lunches, etc.

 

[evangelist6589]

[QU OTE=Crabtownboy;2125209]I am sorry some are attacking you. You asked for help, so ............................some practical advice.

1. Sit down and discuss a monthly allowance for both of you.

2. Credit/debit cards can be only used when both agree on a purchase.

3. Put the amount of money [cash] agreed upon in an envelope. One for each person. No matter what, no more cash.

4.An envelope cannot be overspent. When it is empty it is empty. It is not a bad idea to have the entire monthly budget in envelopes; one for groceries for instance, another for lunches, etc.
[/QUOTE]


Envelopes also open us up to theft from others that live in the house as her brother is not a believer. But agreed she needs to better be on a budget. I strive to do this but I have gone over a few times.

 

[evangelist6589]

This is hardly the right place for such a conversation. I would urge the moderators to close it and pull it down.

What I asked for

 

[evangelist6589]

"Godly tone"?



Was it a "godly tone" when Jesus called the pharisees "vipers and hypocrites"? Or when He referred to a woman as a dog? (a serious slur in Middle Eastern countries)



Or when Paul rebuked Peter?



Sometimes the rebukes are harsh; but they're always godly. You just have to decide if your skin is thick enough to accept them, or if you want momma to pat you on the head and let you cry on her shoulder.

My critics multiply like rabbits!!!!

 

[Rolfe]

My critics multiply like rabbits!!!!

You want advice, then discount most of it and insult the same people who are trying to help by calling them critics. If you do not want advice then don't ask for it. Man up and grow up.

 

[Don]

My critics multiply like rabbits!!!!

Totally ignored the references to scripture I used to support what I was saying. You're more interested in people agreeing with you than you are in receiving advice.

 

[Alcott]

My critics multiply like rabbits!!!!

Well, if you don't want big ears, tame the big confessions.

 

[Crabtownboy]

Well, if you don't want big ears, tame the big confessions.

Seems to me the responses in this thread show a big problem that is present in most Baptist churches ... when someone in the church has a problem instead of helping them the others in the church shoot them.

How about some giving Evan. some practical help. Why not?

 

[Salty]

How about some giving Evan. some practical help. Why not?

Seems like Rolf answered that a few posts back.

You want advice, then discount most of it and insult the same people who are trying to help by calling them critics. If you do not want advice then don't ask for it. Man up and grow up.

 

[Salty]

[QU OTE=Crabtownboy;2125209]

Envelopes also open us up to theft from others that live in the house as her brother is not a believer. But agreed she needs to better be on a budget. I strive to do this but I have gone over a few times.

Open a joint checking account for monthly bills - in which you must both countersign.

 

[Crabtownboy]

Envelopes also open us up to theft from others that live in the house as her brother is not a believer. But agreed she needs to better be on a budget. I strive to do this but I have gone over a few times.

Keep yours at your work or someplace no one knows about.

I bet she would be on her brother like fleas on a dog if he snitched out of her envelope and she had to do without for a week, half a month or a month.

 

[evangelist6589]

Totally ignored the references to scripture I used to support what I was saying. You're more interested in people agreeing with you than you are in receiving advice.

Wrong! I decided my OP of the other church was a bad idea based on what others have said here as they persuaded me logically and in a gentle tone. Also the comments about counseling is a very good idea, but she has to also agree to it, but the poster that said that I agree with.

 

[evangelist6589]

Keep yours at your work or someplace no one knows about.

I bet she would be on her brother like fleas on a dog if he snitched out of her envelope and she had to do without for a week, half a month or a month.

This may be a good idea, but it would also mean I won't be able to track expenses in quicken, so there are drawbacks. But yes logically this may be a better idea. However she has to also agree.

 

[evangelist6589]

Well, if you don't want big ears, tame the big confessions.

http://colorado-lifestyle.blogspot.com/2009/05/cottontail-rabbit.html

 

[evangelist6589]

Seems to me the responses in this thread show a big problem that is present in most Baptist churches ... when someone in the church has a problem instead of helping them the others in the church shoot them.

How about some giving Evan. some practical help. Why not?

Thanks brother. Its a tough one, but I do think jointing out checking accounts again is a bad idea, just as it was the first time. IT will lead to me DEFAULTING ON MY DEBTS. In the future this would be a good idea, once a budget is established and followed. I use a budget every check in Excel.