Divorce, Remarriage and Preaching Part II

[SavedByGrace]

The passage only addresses married couples unequally yoked... that is one is saved and one is unsaved.

Where does scripture say God blesses Christian marriages, but doesn’t bless the marriages of unbelievers?

peace to you

the unbelieving wife and blessed because of the believing husband, and vice versa. This means because one is a believer, there is a blessing on both. In a unsaved marriage, this is not there. surely you can understand this simple thing?

 

[canadyjd]

the unbelieving wife and blessed because of the believing husband, and vice versa. This means because one is a believer, there is a blessing on both. In a unsaved marriage, this is not there. surely you can understand this simple thing?

I do understand what you are saying. You are equating “sanctification” with blessing. Do you equate it with salvation?

Christians are sanctified (set apart for a purpose).

I will consider your argument, but I don’t believe it necessarily follows that if God blesses the unbelieving spouse (and children) through the believing spouse then all unsaved marriages will not be blessed at all.

peace to you

 

[Yeshua1]

So you suppose that God blesses the marriages of the unsaved?

In the sense that He acknowledges that they are now one flesh in His sight, yes!

 

[Yeshua1]

I do understand what you are saying. You are equating “sanctification” with blessing. Do you equate it with salvation?

Christians are sanctified (set apart for a purpose).

I will consider your argument, but I don’t believe it necessarily follows that if God blesses the unbelieving spouse (and children) through the believing spouse then all unsaved marriages will not be blessed at all.

peace to you

Is not children from the Lord a blessing, regardless saved parents or not?

 

[canadyjd]

Is not children from the Lord a blessing, regardless saved parents or not?

Scripture says that is true.

peace to you

 

[thomas15]

I meet the requirements for church office except one. That one is: I don't desire the office. As such, I have no axe to grind.

I'm sure this is not unique. Currently my church and others I have been in have in their doctrinal statement that to be a pastor or deacon you cannot be divorced or a man that is married to a woman that was divorced. They don't mention that convicted felons are not qualified just specifically divorced men or men married to a divorced woman. True, the owner of the sandbox makes the rules not the kids using it so I have no problem with this.

One of the churches I was in the pastor left the church took half of the paid staff with him then a few months after accepting a new pulpit kicked his wife and 3 kids out, moved in the wife of another member of my church who also had 3 kids. Two families shattered, two churches destroyed. So I did a lot of study on the qualifications for the office but in the end left it at what the writers of books, theologians, and the like, had to say. Most say if there is any divorce, no office.

Years later I look at 1 Timothy and Titus with fresh eyes. It doesn't say that a man with divorce somewhere in his background is not allowed before or after conversion. You have to look somewhere else.

I think but haven't asked but I think the disqualifier for a man divorced or married to a once divorced woman comes from Matt 19:1-8 and Matt 5:27-31 see #63 upthread. That man, according to Matt 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart".

Based on this no man should ever think he be qualified to seek a church office unless he has never looked at a woman lustfully. Is there such a man?

I don't believe that because in my opinion Matt ch 19 and ch 5 is an answer to those who think it possible to be perfect or to the religious leaders that think they are above it all or to illustrate just how difficult, actually impossible to keep the law or obtain a works salvation. How can we as men be of a totally depraved nature but not guilty of something disqualifying?

So.... if a man marries a divorced woman he commits adultery therefore according to this he is guilty of this sin and cannot be fully forgiven. It doesn't matter if his wedded bliss lasts 50 years, it really doesn't matter the timing or details, he is guilty. One could look at the reason Moses wasn't allowed to enter the promised land or one could say King David could not be ordained in a Baptist church.

So the question is, we are either forgiven of our sins or we are not forgiven of our sins. I'm personally going with full forgiveness but hey, I'm odd.

 

[Salty]

Years later I look at 1 Timothy and Titus with fresh eyes. It doesn't say that a man with divorce somewhere in his background is not allowed before or after conversion. You have to look somewhere else.

You hit the nail on the head. Paul is telling Timothy "the husband of one wife" If a man is divorced - his marriage has been legally ended. Thus he no longer has a wife. - Also, if Paul meant divorced - why did he not so say! We like to say that the Bible means what it says - and it only says one wife. That is a one women man.

Based on this no man should ever think he be qualified to seek a church office unless he has never looked at a woman lustfully. Is there such a man?

Very interesting point!

One last thing - when a church states no divorce - I would show them Mark 16:17-18 and then ask where are the snakes.!

 

[Mike Stidham]

As I was the one who made the final comment on the closed thread, I feel it only right to give you all an update.
I ended up back in ministry, just not preaching ministry. I lead a non-profit ministry agency serving the poor and homeless in our community. God knew what He was doing. Wouldn't trade it for any pulpit!

 

[Paul from Antioch]

This isn't exactly about what God's Word says about being married as such, but I've heard some people contend that the Apostle Paul was, in fact, a married man. Usually they'll cite something from his writings to the Corinthians about leading a wife around. But more than that a few will insist that he was, in fact, a member of the Jewish Sanhedrin (sp ?), and that this body required its members be married men. I haven't found any very specific Bible passage that tells me that either of these positions are, in fact, true. Can any of you BBoarders supply me with any such Biblical statements? Granted, I'm no expert in the OT Law, and maybe I've overlooked where God's Word addresses this. IOW, help me out on this. Thanks in advance for your help in this!!

 

[Yeshua1]

the unbelieving wife and blessed because of the believing husband, and vice versa. This means because one is a believer, there is a blessing on both. In a unsaved marriage, this is not there. surely you can understand this simple thing?

It is still just as valid a marriage as between saved, correct?

 

[SavedByGrace]

It is still just as valid a marriage as between saved, correct?

I read this to say that Christian marriages are "blessed" by the Lord, as they have His "favour" on their lives, since they belong to Him. In a marriage where only one is born again, who will be "blessed", because in marriage "the two become one flesh", joined by the Lord, the "blessings" of the saved spouse, will also be on the unsaved spouse, by the fact that they are "joined" by the Lord as "one". This does not apply to any non Christian marriages, so they are not "blessed" by the Lord.

 

[Yeshua1]

I read this to say that Christian marriages are "blessed" by the Lord, as they have His "favour" on their lives, since they belong to Him. In a marriage where only one is born again, who will be "blessed", because in marriage "the two become one flesh", joined by the Lord, the "blessings" of the saved spouse, will also be on the unsaved spouse, by the fact that they are "joined" by the Lord as "one". This does not apply to any non Christian marriages, so they are not "blessed" by the Lord.

Still is a valid marriage in his sight, correct?

 

[SavedByGrace]

Still is a valid marriage in his sight, correct?

yes, but not blessed

 

[AVL1984]

I would also think it would need to look at why the divorce took place. The Bible allows for divorce in certain circumstances.

My family attended a church for a short time where the pastor had been divorced and remarried. His wife had left him, God and the ways of Christianity for another lifestyle. It was put before the people on whether or not this man should remain as pastor, and as the pastor had done all in his power for reconciliation with his ex-wife, we believed he should stay. There is a local pastor here in our area who was divorced within the past few years who brought a LOT of attention to this subject in our area. I know of the man, have met with him, and have communicated with him via text and messenger and email as well as by phone. At times he is very humble and gracious, but then, at others times, when questioned about divorce, remarriage, etc., he becomes defensive, combative, and I cannot recommend people go to his church. I'm not saying his preaching isn't dynamic or Biblical, as it is. He speaks all over the country and has had some very high-profile people in his church recently. But, his style of pastoring and even leading his family before he was divorced and remarried, was questionable. I still pray for him, for his congregation, as I have friends who go there, and for God to use him as much as possible with the people he has now, and those brought in by those people. At times, though, especially since his divorce and remarriage, the atmosphere has become quite "cult-like." That is worrisome. I would recommend anyone considering sitting under a man who is divorced to pray about it, to speak to the man about it, and to visit for a short while before joining a church he pastors.

 

[Yeshua1]

My family attended a church for a short time where the pastor had been divorced and remarried. His wife had left him, God and the ways of Christianity for another lifestyle. It was put before the people on whether or not this man should remain as pastor, and as the pastor had done all in his power for reconciliation with his ex-wife, we believed he should stay. There is a local pastor here in our area who was divorced within the past few years who brought a LOT of attention to this subject in our area. I know of the man, have met with him, and have communicated with him via text and messenger and email as well as by phone. At times he is very humble and gracious, but then, at others times, when questioned about divorce, remarriage, etc., he becomes defensive, combative, and I cannot recommend people go to his church. I'm not saying his preaching isn't dynamic or Biblical, as it is. He speaks all over the country and has had some very high-profile people in his church recently. But, his style of pastoring and even leading his family before he was divorced and remarried, was questionable. I still pray for him, for his congregation, as I have friends who go there, and for God to use him as much as possible with the people he has now, and those brought in by those people. At times, though, especially since his divorce and remarriage, the atmosphere has become quite "cult-like." That is worrisome. I would recommend anyone considering sitting under a man who is divorced to pray about it, to speak to the man about it, and to visit for a short while before joining a church he pastors.

My experience on this issue is that the few times personally knew a Pastor who had his wife cheat on him and get the divorce, while the church gave him "support", far as i know never was called to pastor again!

 

[AVL1984]

My experience on this issue is that the few times personally knew a Pastor who had his wife cheat on him and get the divorce, while the church gave him "support", far as i know never was called to pastor again!

And that is the sad part. The pastor is the one who has to pay the price for what is going on. He does bear SOME responsibility before the Lord, but it may not always be that the pastor is the one to BLAME for the situation. We've had several friends who've been divorced and gone on to preach, be evangelists and have led Godly, productive lives. It all depends on the circumstances surrounding the divorce, and the choice the church makes either to keep him or prevent him from preaching. That's why I try not to defame any man's ministry. I'm not accountable for what has gone on. God is the one who judges. I can only judge what fruit I see.

 

[Yeshua1]

And that is the sad part. The pastor is the one who has to pay the price for what is going on. He does bear SOME responsibility before the Lord, but it may not always be that the pastor is the one to BLAME for the situation. We've had several friends who've been divorced and gone on to preach, be evangelists and have led Godly, productive lives. It all depends on the circumstances surrounding the divorce, and the choice the church makes either to keep him or prevent him from preaching. That's why I try not to defame any man's ministry. I'm not accountable for what has gone on. God is the one who judges. I can only judge what fruit I see.

Just sad when the person is forgiven and accepted by thr Lord , as he knows the whole deal, and yet still punished by others! Glad that Paul and peter were not put on the sidelines!

 

[AVL1984]

Just sad when the person is forgiven and accepted by thr Lord , as he knows the whole deal, and yet still punished by others! Glad that Paul and peter were not put on the sidelines!

Yes, it is sad indeed! As I've said for the last 40 years, Christians are good at shooting their own.

 

[Yeshua1]

Yes, it is sad indeed! As I've said for the last 40 years, Christians are good at shooting their own.

We kill each other based upon what mode of Baptism and which Bible version, and yet allow rank heresy to run rampant at times!