@JonC , this is not difficult. If God's love for you was demonstrated in choosing you before you were born, separating you, effectually drawing you to Himself, forgiving your sins,baptizing you with His Holy Ghost, and sealing you up unto that day, then the next guy who is not a beneficiary of all these,and who perished in his sins,can't be said to be loved by God as you are.
But if God loved you equally, had mercy on you,willed that you be saved, and offered to save you, and you accepted His offer while the other rejected it,then truly,logically and honestly, God loved you both equally