Jhn 21:15 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love [agape -- godly absolute love] me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love [phileo -- brotherly love] you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs."
Jhn 21:16 He [Jesus] said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love [agape -- godly absolute love] me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love [phileo -- brotherly love] you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep."
Jhn 21:17 He [Jesus] said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love [phileo -- brotherly love] me?" Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you love [phileo -- brotherly love] me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love [phileo -- brotherly love] you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep.
Jesus was asking Peter if Peter loved Him with the absolute love of God. Jesus asked again. Both times Peter responded with a lesser love -- love of a brother -- and could not respond that he loved Christ as Christ loved him. When asked a third time, this time, Christ asking if Peter even loved Him like a brother, Peter was rather dismayed. He knew that Christ had to soften His concept of love in order to meet Peter's ability, yet Christ gave the same command to Peter, "feed my sheep."
If we read this in plain English, we miss the nuances of the point Christ was trying to make to Peter and we end up wondering why Jesus had to ask the question three times -- often spiritualizing something about the thrice asked issue -- instead of seeing the real issue driven by the text.