1) There are scriptures that indicate Christ laid down His life as a ransom for all. That even false teachers who deny Christ have been bought. But other scriptures indicate Christ died for the church, i.e. those actually saved.
Calvinism claims it is one or the other, and they say Christ died only for those saved. However, an alternate view is both are true, Christ died for all mankind, becoming the propitiation or means of salvation for the whole world, which includes everyone saved. There is therefore no need to nullify scripture or pick one verse and overwrite another.
2) Calvinism uses words found in scripture but redefines them according to their man-made theology. Election simply means choice, electing to pick this over that. Calvinism uses the word as code for God choosing certain foreseen individuals before creation for salvation. They base this on Ephesians 1:4 which says He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world. You cannot tell, from the immediate context whether this refers to choosing corporately all those who would be subsequently redeemed by the Lamb of God, or individually chosen. Other verses preclude this "election" being individual. 2 Thessalonians 2:13 says we were chosen through faith in the truth. Nobody had faith before they lived, heard the gospel, and responded in wholehearted faith.
Thus if we are chosen individually during our lifetime based on God crediting our faith as righteousness, we were chosen corporately, i.e. as the target group of God's redemption plan, before creation. Several verses indicate our individual election for salvation occurs during out lifetime, after we have lived without mercy, i.e. 1 Peter 2:9-10.
3) Does God show favoritism? God does not favor individuals based on the world's value system. Not many well born, powerful, or well educated were chosen. But according to His value system He does show favoritism. God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. So here again, we have a biblical doctrine, God does not play favorites according to the world's value system being taken too far which creates conflict with many verses where God chooses those of faith and humility and love and places them spiritually "in Christ" the sanctifying work of the Spirit.
4) The controversy concerning "free will versus election" is not a mystery at all. God says whoever believes in Him shall not perish. In order not to perish, God must choose (elect) the individual based on crediting their faith, as flawed as it is, as righteousness, and place then in Christ.
So the biblical order is this:
(1) God chose His Lamb before the foundation of the world. 1 Peter 1:19-20.
(2) He chose us [those redeemed] in Him before the foundation of the world. Ephesians 1:4. You do not choose a Redeemer without a plan to redeem, thus in choosing Christ, He chose us [corporately] in Him [when He chose His Redeemer] before creation.
(3) Adam sinned and the result was the condemnation of all men, the many (all men except Christ) were made sinners in a separated from God, corrupted sinful condition.
(4) Christ died for all men, providing the propitiation or means of salvation for the whole world, all mankind. However, only those who "receive" the reconciliation offered by the shed blood of Christ, are saved, washed with His blood, made alive, born anew, made a new creation, and are sealed with the Holy Spirit as a pledge for being resurrected to eternal life at Christ's second coming.
(5) The Holy Spirit inspired the NT writers to provide the gospel of Christ to all those who hear and understand. Some men, the first soil of Matthew 13:1-23, have been hardened and cannot understand. Others, who have not been cultivated, only receive the gospel superficially, like the second soil of Matthew 13. But more cultivation over time may result is a deep comment, one that the Lord will credit as righteousness, and therefore place the cultivated individual in Christ. We plant and water, but God causes the increase.
(6) When God chooses (elects) an individual He places them spiritually in Christ. This is called the sanctification by the Spirit, 2 Thessalonians 2:13, or the sanctifying work of the Spirit, 1 Peter 1:2. In any event, this is our individual election for salvation during our lifetime based on God crediting our faith as righteousness, thus a conditional election.
(7) So we do not have "free will", some with hardened hearts have no ability to receive the gospel, others due to lack of cultivation are currently unable to make a full commitment, and still others like the gospel, but are unwilling to subordinate the treasures they see in this world, materials or relationships. So in our fallen state, if not hardened, we have a limited ability to receive the milk of the gospel, that can be lost by the practice of sin, and can be enhanced by cultivation and watering. Thus as ambassadors of Christ we should beseech, beg, and plead with the lost, "be reconciled to God."
FFERS MAJOR BONUS CHECK TO 500 PEOPLE". Even though there were only 200 people that received it, that the CEO spoke to both 200 people, and 500 both at the same time is not a contradiction. If the CEO said that he offered the check ONLY to 200 people, and 500 at the same time, then you have an explicit contradiction.