going to church 3 times a week

[Tom Butler]

You pastors and preachers on the BB, what's the average amount of time you spend each week preparing two or three sermons, or Bible study? Five, ten, twenty hours?

Will you prepare just as diligently if five people show up, or 500?

Seems to me that if we expect our pastor to prepare, prepare, prepare messages and studies for our edification and spiritual growth, it is like a slap in the face to him to turn our backs on him when he is carrying out God's call.

Some of you have listed legitimate reasons you can't go. Others seem to be making up reasons to stay away. Some of you got real defensive about it.

Valid reasons excepted, the prevailing attitude seems to be that all the pastor's efforts are just not worth our time and effort.

Our gatherings are primarily to worship, for Bible study and for fellowship. All are important. I sense that some posters look on our corporate gatherings as just another meeting.

Legitimate reasons, fine. Schedule conflicts, fine. You're tired, fine. Just don't want to, fine.

I may join you. I can already feel the leading of the Lord to stay home next Wednesday night.

 

[saturneptune]

I may join you. I can already feel the leading of the Lord to stay home next Wednesday night.

It would be an interesting study to compare attendence of persons who go because they are lead by the Lord, and those who go because they feel obligated, of course, same setting, same church. I think one might be surprised at the results.

 

[Tom Butler]

It would be an interesting study to compare attendence of persons who go because they are lead by the Lord, and those who go because they feel obligated, of course, same setting, same church. I think one might be surprised at the results.

My comment about the Lord's leading me to stay home next Wednesday was tongue-in-cheek, of course.

I'd like to see the results of that study as well. But don't you think a lot of people most people who go to church on Sunday nights and Wednesdays don't do a lot of philosophizing about it? They just do it.

I'm not sure that going to church because you feel obligated is necessarily a bad thing. Church membership actually carries with it some obligations, don't you think? Showing up, for one thing.

You are part of the van ministry at our church. Having taken on that responsibility, you've taken on an obligation. Because you wanted to. You don't have to inquire of the Lord each week whether you'll drive.

I don't care how many times anybody goes to church during the week--unless it's zero, of course. I'm questioning some of the attitudes I've seen expressed in this thread.

It seems that I'm reading a lot of "it's all about me" in the comments.

Another thing: The first time somebody hurls the "legalist" epithet at somebody else, there's a big rush to assure folks that they're not equating the amount of church attendance with the degree of spirituality. Frankly, I'm not so sure about that. If one time a week is okay, then is zero times okay as well?

 

[Mexdeaf]

I am beginning to think that the key is not frequency but attitude (or perhaps motivation is a better word).

Did not Jesus express this in Matthew 6:5, 21:28-31, and 23:5?

If we are continually going to church out of a sense of duty or obligation rather than a sense of thankfulness and worship, perhaps we had better stay home from church and spend some personal time with the Lord and get the joy back.

The key word in Hebrews 10:25 is 'forsaking'. I personally believe that one may physically be in attendance at a worship service, yet still be forsaking the assembly if they are there just to catch the pastor's eye or spend the whole time looking at their watch or daydreaming about what is on TV in the afternoon.

God is not impressed with our attendance but with our attitude.

 

[SBCPreacher]

...but if most pastors actually worked a full-time job, not a 40 hour a week job, but a 50-60 hour a week job, and then went to church three times a week , he'd get to where he'd probably miss a service or two a month.

Wow, that's quite a statement. I assume from that that you are not a full time pastor.

Well, let me add my 2 cents worth. I am a full time pastor. And I can easily put in 50 hours a week. Some less, many more. I preach 2 and a half times a week - twice on Sunday, and a 20 minute Bible study on Wednesdays (so that we will have plenty of time to pray). It takes hours to prepare for each of these messages. My church expects me to study so that I don't get up on Sundays and Wednesdays and preach "junk" sermons.

Then, there's all the hospital visits, home visits, meetings, etc. I can easily put in 50+ hours a week. I missed 2 Sunday evenings, and 3 Wednesday evenings last year. I was here every Sunday morning. So, your "he'd get to where he'd probably miss a service or two a month" doesn't hold any water with me.

Listen, I look forward to every opportunity I have to meet with God's people and worship Him! I love to worship God, and I take every opportunity I can to do that. I love to preach and teach God's Word, and take every opportunity I can to do that. And for the most part, our kids (all four of them) are here three times a week too. We don't let "activities" get in the way of worshiping God. Sure, they miss from time to time to do something special or something out of the ordinary, but they don't set the schedule at our house - that's mom and dad's job. We see worshiping God as a priority.

OK, start shooting those arrows, throwing those rocks. I'm ready.

 

[I Am Blessed 24]

I value my family time in the evenings and I'm having a hard time with messing this up twice a week.

I would never consider going to church 'messing' anything up.

If you go to church Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Wednesday evening, you are giving God approximately 4 to 6 hours a week.

If you are still breathing - He is giving you 168 hours a week.

 

[StefanM]

SBCPreacher,

It seems to me that Salamander was talking about a pastor who would work a 50-60 hour/week job outside of ministry who then had to take on all of the ministry responsibilities over and above his secular job.

 

[tinytim]

I think it is about attitude too.. I would just want to caution parents to watch what we are teaching our children.

For instance... We would never tell our children that God takes second place in our life.
But when we continually put things in front of serving God, the children pick up on this...
This is why, we have churches full of people that refuse to go to church on Sunday evening or Wednesday evening... chances are they learned this practice from their parents.

For instance, my son has a band banquet next Wednesday... the same time I, as pastor have the responsibility to teach. My wife and son will be going to the banquet. My other 2 sons will be going to TeamKID at church. What is the lesson my son will be learning? That church comes before secular activities. And I hope he understands this when he grows up. This banquet is out of the ordinary, and he is at church every other time. (and before you start telling me what a bad dad I am read below)

On the other hand, last night, we had scheduled a work party at church at 5:30. My son had a mandatory band meeting. My wife was sick and couldn't take him, so I simply called the chairman of the trustees and told him that I would be going with my son instead...

It is all about balance. If possible you should be in church. But if you have to miss... no big deal. Just don't make it a habit.

I have had parents that have their children involved in Baseball, dance, karate, piano lessons, and everything else you can imagine because they thought this helped the child become a better person....
But when I asked them why they wouldn't bring their children to SS or TeamKID, or other children's activities, they said they didn't have time....

What they were teaching their children (silently) was that it is OK to put God second to other activities....
Guess what, those same parents 6 yrs later would request prayer for their children every service... they couldn't get their children to focus on God...

Hmmmm wonder why?

Duh.

 

[Andy T.]

Good thoughts, Tiny Tim. :thumbs:

 

[Rufus_1611]

For instance, my son has a band banquet next Wednesday... the same time I, as pastor have the responsibility to teach. My wife and son will be going to the banquet. My other 2 sons will be going to TeamKID at church. What is the lesson my son will be learning? That church comes before secular activities. And I hope he understands this when he grows up. This banquet is out of the ordinary, and he is at church every other time. (and before you start telling me what a bad dad I am read below)

Not questioning your decision here necessarily, but could you elaborate on how you believe your son is learning that church is more important than secular activities when he is going to a secular activity rather than church?

 

[corndogggy]

But corndogggy, I think you ought to try harder to get to know the people in your church.

Further, what you call a "social happening" some Christians call "fellowshipping". Being surrounded by like-minded Christians who love the Lord and desire to share their praises and burdens with you should be a joyous opportunity. If you don't know 95% of their names, go find out. Ask them their name and how they got to know the Lord and share with them your testimony and how He's working in your life today.

You have been going to church for 9 years and you claim to only know 5% of the congregation by name? I am bad with names also, but I make it a point to know that people that matter to me. Friends, co-workers, church members. We are all the Body of Christ, I would think that it would demand a little respect to know their names. Now, if you tell me your church is 10,000 members (or any very large number) I will stand corrected, but otherwise this would be one step I would take if I were you. Get to know your members.

It always amazes me to see comments like this. Social people who have friends simply don't understand. It's not just a church thing, I hardly have any friends at all. I'm sure I know the names of more than the exaggerated 5% of the congregation that I mentioned, but still, it's not much, no way could it be more than 1/4 of them. But, like I said, this affects me everywhere. I've been at the same job for 9 years and I'm the same way here at work, I know maybe 20 people, and I'm only good friends with only one. There's a couple hundred people here in this one location, and 900 of us counting all locations. I'm 31 and I've only had 3 people, in my entire life that I would consider good friends, and those 3 people are still about my only non-related friends. The most painful thing is that people make comments like this and act like it's simply a matter of me trying. I wish it were that simple. Think about it, I'm 31. I have 3 friends. One of those friends I only see twice a year, and one of them I only see once every 3 years. Do you "really" think that I simply haven't tried my whole life??? I've always been, not really an outcast, but, a weird kid maybe. Nobody likes me, I don't fit in much of anywhere. Over the years I've learned to accept that. So, please try to understand why I don't exactly jump for joy at the thought of going to a "social" and pretending like I've got friends. I know who my friends are, and the only ones that matter live in the same house as me. Socializing with others has become sheer pain, and no, I hardly look forward to it at all. I want to go to church to worship and give thanks, not to do a country club scene. Personally, due to this, Sunday morning is about the only time that I feel comfortable with.

 

[JamieinNH]

It always amazes me to see comments like this. Social people who have friends simply don't understand. It's not just a church thing, I hardly have any friends at all. I'm sure I know the names of more than the exaggerated 5% of the congregation that I mentioned, but still, it's not much, no way could it be more than 1/4 of them. But, like I said, this affects me everywhere. I've been at the same job for 9 years and I'm the same way here at work, I know maybe 20 people, and I'm only good friends with only one. There's a couple hundred people here in this one location, and 900 of us counting all locations. I'm 31 and I've only had two, maybe 3 people, in my entire life that I would consider good friends, and those two people are still about my only non-related friends. The most painful thing is that people make comments like this and act like it's simply a matter of me trying. I wish it were that simple. Think about it, I'm 31. I have two friends. Do you "really" think that I simply haven't tried??? I've always been, not really an outcast, but, a weird kid maybe. Nobody likes me. Over the years I've learned to accept that. So, please try to understand why I don't exactly jump for joy at the thought of going to a "social" and pretending like I've got friends. I know who my friends are, and the only ones that matter live in the same house as me. Socializing with others has become sheer pain, and no, I hardly look forward to it at all.

I know exactly what you're talking about. I WAS that person, but I have prayed and over the years have changed. It didn't happen over night, but it did happen.

This is going to sound harsh, and it is, but it's not meant to be mean.

In order to be a good Christian, you HAVE to meet people. Part of being a Christian is spreading the Gospel. It's not just for the pastor. If it's as bad as you say it is, then how can you be an effective witness? Being a Christian is more than obeying the laws, going to church and being a good man/woman.

In my opinion you have a bigger problem rather that how many times you go to church. You need to pray to God to open the door to becoming a better speaker or to become more "social" or open to people. Pray for God to purposely put people in your path that you have to interact with and Pray to him for guidence, strength and courage.

This is a bigger problem than just not wanting to go to church. Pray to God for guidence.

I know it sounds harsh, but as someone who was just like you described, I know it can be done through God.

I will pray that God gives you the strength you will need in this endevor.

Jamie

 

[SBCPreacher]

SBCPreacher,

It seems to me that Salamander was talking about a pastor who would work a 50-60 hour/week job outside of ministry who then had to take on all of the ministry responsibilities over and above his secular job.

Well, then, I may have misunderstood. Me misunderstanding is nothing new. If so, my apologies.

 

[webdog]

I would never consider going to church 'messing' anything up.

If you go to church Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Wednesday evening, you are giving God approximately 4 to 6 hours a week.

If you are still breathing - He is giving you 168 hours a week.

Even if we go to church every time it's open...I hope we are giving him a heck of a lot more than 4 - 6 hours a week

I would rather have a solid walk with the Lord, solid relationship with my family and attend church once a week, than go every time the doors open.
While we rent space, we have something basically every night of the week. Monday is women's study, Tuesday is our small group, Thursday is men's gathering, Saturday is pathfinders (20-30 fellowship), Sunday church.

 

[OrovilleTim]

We went five times this week so far (Spring Revival), and then had the Youth Pastor and his family over last night for some fellowship. That is every night since Sunday, in either church or fellowship.

Funny thing is, while this was one of the worst weeks as far as work, I think it has been one of the most pleasant for me attitude wise.

I know of the social uneasiness mentioned in the original post. I was there for a long time. My excuses were the fact that I had a poor family environment, was always an outsider as a youth, etc. I even just had an almost negative perception of people I didn't know, just because I was unfamiliar with them... almost like a defense mechanism.

But, more recently I decided that this was rendering me ineffective on so many levels, including being a witness. I decided that I had needing to be looking at my fellow church-goers as family. It was mentioned that time was only spent with family, well, spend time with the whole church family.

It was really heard for me to break out of my anti-social rut (well, to be breaking out of I should say, as I still feel a little akward.) But, it has to be done!

Tim

 

[corndogggy]

I even just had an almost negative perception of people I didn't know, just because I was unfamiliar with them... almost like a defense mechanism.

Exactly. I do that now, subconsciously, but it wasn't always like that. Over the years I've found out that even if I do open up to somebody and be myself around them, there's a 99.99% chance that they're not going to like me, stuff will be said behind my back, I'll be rejected or embarassed, or at least at the minimum I'll just waste a bunch of time. After years upon years of this, I don't see how anybody can continue to be the same cheery person and continue to open up, or even go beyond that and open up even more. I can put on a show when needed, but, it's not me, therefore it's fake, so what's the point? Unless I can be myself, I don't want to talk to anybody. I've learned that I can just about guarantee that somebody is going to dislike me, so that makes me not really like them, before I even know them. When I go to social functions, it's these same feelings, but multiplied. I'm not there talking with friends, I'm there because I feel obligated to, and spend the whole time trying not to look stupid, and if I actually open up, I do anyway. It's just hard to see the benefit of spending even more time around people and having to socialize in that situation. It's sheer pain and a huge effort and total fakeness for me to carry on a coherent conversation. I can communicate better when typing because I can pause and think, it doesn't have to flow as well. Even then, I still say dumb stuff and make people mad without even realizing it though.

 

[Mexdeaf]

Exactly. I do that now, subconsciously, but it wasn't always like that. Over the years I've found out that even if I do open up to somebody and be myself around them, there's a 99.99% chance that they're not going to like me, stuff will be said behind my back, I'll be rejected or embarassed, or at least at the minimum I'll just waste a bunch of time. After years upon years of this, I don't see how anybody can continue to be the same cheery person and continue to open up, or even go beyond that and open up even more. I can put on a show when needed, but, it's not me, therefore it's fake, so what's the point? Unless I can be myself, I don't want to talk to anybody. I've learned that I can just about guarantee that somebody is going to dislike me, so that makes me not really like them, before I even know them. When I go to social functions, it's these same feelings, but multiplied. I'm not there talking with friends, I'm there because I feel obligated to, and spend the whole time trying not to look stupid, and if I actually open up, I do anyway. It's just hard to see the benefit of spending even more time around people and having to socialize in that situation. It's sheer pain and a huge effort and total fakeness for me to carry on a coherent conversation. I can communicate better when typing because I can pause and think, it doesn't have to flow as well. Even then, I still say dumb stuff and make people mad without even realizing it though.

This is going to sound mean, but your problem is the guy you are looking at in the mirror every morning. You need to do some 'dying to self'. You are too worried about your SELF and how people react to it.

The Apostle Paul was not exactly a four-star speaker on the lecture circuit either. Look at 2 Corinthians 10:10 and 11:6. Folks mocked him also, but his eyes were on the Lord and not on his poor self so he got over it.

Ouir Lord suffered far more and worse than we ever could and yet the Bible says he was a friend of sinner and saint alike.

Brother, you aren't the first, the last, or the only one with your problem. I myself am legally deaf. I live in a foreign country where I cannot understand what the hearing folks are saying to me and many times I make a donkey of myself when I misunderstand or say the wrong thing. Yes, it is embarassing but I have learned to laugh it off, put it in the Lord's hands and pray for them which persecute me.

I hope you take this in the manner I mean it, I don't mean to be harsh but sometimes we have to face the man in the mirror and say, "Thou are the man!'. It's not the preacher, it's not the deacon, it's me, oh, Lord standing in the need of prayer.

 

[I Am Blessed 24]

Even if we go to church every time it's open...I hope we are giving him a heck of a lot more than 4 - 6 hours a week

I would rather have a solid walk with the Lord, solid relationship with my family and attend church once a week, than go every time the doors open.
While we rent space, we have something basically every night of the week. Monday is women's study, Tuesday is our small group, Thursday is men's gathering, Saturday is pathfinders (20-30 fellowship), Sunday church.

I'm sorry. webdog.
I should have clarified the fact that I was talking about spending 4 - 6 hours IN CHURCH.

Corndoggy:
I've always heard if you want a friend - you have to be a friend. One way to do this, but not by any means the only way, is to get interested in what other people find interesting.

You will be surprised at how interesting you will become once you get interested in others.

Also, one needs to check their priorities on a regular basis...

• God (not always necessarily church)

• Wife

• Children

• Grandchildren

• Parents

• Grandparents

 

[corndogggy]

This is going to sound mean, but your problem is the guy you are looking at in the mirror every morning.

Of course it is, I don't think I purposely came across as saying otherwise. I'm apparently a screwed up extremely introverted weirdo that nobody likes. I never said there was anything wrong with them for feeling that way, only that they do apparently feel that way, because of the way I am. But, because of this, it's just real hard for me to get fired up about social functions and additional services, to say the least. I don't fit in there.

 

[tinytim]

I'm apparently a screwed up extremely introverted weirdo that nobody likes.

Join the crowd...
That is the way I used to be until I started doing what I wanted to (under the direction of the Lord) and didn't worry about what others thought...

Others cannot affect you if you don't let them... it is tough... but it can be done...

BTW, I still feel that way sometimes...
My low self esteem is one of my biggest problems..

But even self esteem is rooted in pride, it is just at opposite ends of the pride spectrum...

BTW... I enjoy your posts...