going to church 3 times a week

[corndogggy]

BTW, I still feel that way sometimes...
My low self esteem is one of my biggest problems..

The strangest part is that I don't feel like I have low self esteem. Maybe I just don't realize it. I mean, I feel like Popeye... "I yam what I yam". If I had low self esteem, seems like I would watch TV for hours with potato chips, but instead I'm carving out my 6-pack abs. I'm pretty opinionated and don't shy away from lively discussions/debates at work, and if I had low self esteem, seems like I couldn't do that.

I say that, yet right now my testosterone levels have bottomed out due to no apparent reason, and one of the biggest reasons for that is depression, so who knows, maybe I'm just making it all up. :thumbs:

 

[Mexdeaf]

Of course it is, I don't think I purposely came across as saying otherwise. I'm apparently a screwed up extremely introverted weirdo that nobody likes. I never said there was anything wrong with them for feeling that way, only that they do apparently feel that way, because of the way I am. But, because of this, it's just real hard for me to get fired up about social functions and additional services, to say the least. I don't fit in there.

From one social outcast to another- I want you to know I don't like you either- I love you because you are my brother in Christ and I am going to put you on my prayer list and pray for you daily.

P.S. I love corndogs!!!

 

[corndogggy]

From one social outcast to another- I want you to know I don't like you either

That's the funniest thing I've read all day.

 

[KJVO]

Corndoggy,
I can understand what you are saying about wanting family time, a family spending quality time together is important. My opinion is that, if you choose not to attend your regular meeting time at church, why not gather your family with you in your den or around your kitchen table and teach them from the word of God yourself.
Read your Bible during the day when you have some time and that evening take thirty min or an hour an show your family what God has shown you through His Word. You will find that is the best of any "family time" you could ask for. Questions that are brought up will put ALL of you DEEPER into your Bible than you could imagine.
I wish you well,
KJVO (Hugh)

P.S. If you would like any further correspondence on this topic please feel free to email me at your convience.

 

[annsni]

Hugh -

I agree - the times that we are not at church (just because of vacation), we ALWAYS have church on our own. We have worship, a message and prayer time - just don't do offering or announcements. LOL!! It is such a great time of fellowship with just our family - and one time we even had another family join us!

One thing I wanted to say is that, while we are not at church every time the doors are open, we made a decision long ago to attend Sunday morning service. It's now an actual decision NOT to go - otherwise, there is no question, we go. The times that we cannot attend Sunday mornings are when one of us is sick (the other will still go to church), if a child is sick and DH has responsibilities (he's one of 9 pastors so doesn't always have a responsibility on Sunday morning)(If a child is sick and he DOESN'T have responsibilities, we do split services - he does 9 and I do 11), or if we're away from home. Otherwise we're there. Now, for OTHER events, it depends on if it's in our realm of responsibility or something for our family. Another issue is that at our church, we have small home groups - that replaces the Sunday night services many churches have. Our small group is tonight and that's another thing that we just expect to go to - no questions. I haven't missed one in over a year - until 2 weeks ago when I had such a migraine that I was even vomiting - so I stayed home).

We do not plan sports events on Sundays at all - that's church and family time. However, if my son has baseball practice at a time when there is a kid's program, we may skip the kids program if it's not THAT important, ya know?

 

[KJVO]

:thumbs: I am happy that you and your family are doing well, it is refreshing to hear of someone that has a relationship with the Lord outside the church building ( as well as in) and all seven days of the week.
Hugh

 

[James_Newman]

This guy sounds like a tyrant!

If my pastor called me up and asked me why I wasn't at church, he would get an earful to say the least!

Why would it be unreasonable for the pastor to expect deacons to be at church? What if you went to church and the pastor just didn't show up, would you not expect some kind of explanation?

 

[I Am Blessed 24]

If my pastor called me up and asked me why I wasn't at church, he would get an earful to say the least!

My pastor calls me when I'm not at church and I praise God for him. He calls to see if I'm sick or need something and sometimes I am and I do. He never hangs up the phone without praying with me.

The deacons should be at church. Aren't they leaders? Aren't we supposed to follow their example?

 

[Magnetic Poles]

My pastor calls me when I'm not at church and I praise God for him. He calls to see if I'm sick or need something and sometimes I am and I do. He never hangs up the phone without praying with me.

The deacons should be at church. Aren't they leaders? Aren't we supposed to follow their example?

I thought deacons are servants, not leaders.

 

[webdog]

A leader should always be a servant, but a servant is not always a leader...so your answer is "yes"

 

[tinytim]

Deacons should set examples on how to be a servant.. and a deacon that rebels against going to church does not have his heart right, and should be removed from the deaconate.

A rebel cannot be a servant....

 

[His Blood Spoke My Name]

Lately my preacher has been on this kick about labeling people as being "casual Christians", "straddling the fence", or "luke warm" (and therefore apparently going to hell), if we don't go to church on Sunday morning, AND Sunday evening, AND Wednesday evening. I'm sorry, but I just can't get into it. I was brought up in a rural church where my pastor was actually a full time coal miner and these services didn't even exist, and I guess that's what I'm used to. I value my family time in the evenings and I'm having a hard time with messing this up twice a week. Every time I attempt to go to one of these night services, it ends up being mostly a social happening, and with my social skills so horrible that I can't even remember 95% of the names of the congregation even though I've been going there for like 9 years, I really only end up talking to my immediately family, and quite honestly I'd much rather be doing that at home.

Just wondering what everybody else thought about this subject.

Psalms 122:1 (KJV) <<A Song of degrees of David.>> I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the LORD.

Who is the 'they' here? It is obviously someone other than the LORD GOD. It is people.

The psalmist wrote in Psalm 69:

For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up;...

Micah 4:2 (KJV) And many nations shall come, and say, Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, and to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths: for the law shall go forth of Zion, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.

Throughout the Word of God, God's people are exhorted to gather together. Hebrews states that we are not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together in this day and age. The author exhorts that we should gather 'so much the more as we see the day approaching'.

If your pastor is encouraging you to be in the house of God every time the doors are open, you should be glad to go. Your desire to be about the Father's business should be above even that of your family.

We cannot put family above the things of God.

 

[I Am Blessed 24]

Deacons should set examples on how to be a servant.. and a deacon that rebels against going to church does not have his heart right, and should be removed from the deaconate.

A rebel cannot be a servant....

Well said! :thumbs:

 

[His Blood Spoke My Name]

Let's look at the importance of Church services by looking at the Word.

Colossians 1:18 (KJV) And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all [things] he might have the preeminence. {in...: or, among all}

Colossians 1:24 (KJV) Who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for his body's sake, which is the church:

2 Corinthians 5:8 (KJV) We are confident, [I say], and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.

hmmm. From many of the posts I have read in this thread, several feel they are closer to the Lord when apart from His body.

Something wrong with this picture.

 

[rbell]

Your desire to be about the Father's business should be above even that of your family.

We cannot put family above the things of God.

Careful, now.

God should take priority over family.
God is not always synonymous with church activities.

In my priorities, God comes first. Family comes second. Church comes after those.

And it sometimes takes discernment to decide, "is this a God thing (ahead of family) or a church thing (behind family)?"

I'm sorry, but I've seen too many pastor's kids whose lives were wrecked because Daddy worked too much doing "the Lord's business" to spend time with them. Sad.

 

[tinytim]

That is why I said we need balance.
If a preacher neglects his family, he is worthless...

 

[webdog]

Deacons should set examples on how to be a servant.. and a deacon that rebels against going to church does not have his heart right, and should be removed from the deaconate.

A rebel cannot be a servant....

I think the deacon was rebelling against the fact the pastor had the gall to call him and ask him where he was. Pastors are not dictators or our parents and have no right questioining if they are not at church. Now, if the deacon had an appointment to keep, or stated he would be there and doesn't show, that's another thing. But if he wanted to spend time with his family, and the pastor called him then asking where he was, I'd be pretty upset, too.

 

[gb93433]

The first church I pastored was a replant. It had ten people left and had lost their pastor and building. Those people met three times a week, and had a Sunday School each week. When I began to ask them about their neigthbors I quickly found out that they knew almost nothing about them and expected that they would be a witness to them. The fact was that they were not reaching anyone and had actually programmed themselves to die.

I came in and told them they were programmed to die. They had no othwer idea how to reach people and grow. I tok that same group of people and met with them each week in Bible study. During the week they were to spend time with God and do their Bible study. That amounted to about one hour each day. Those people spent seven hours each week studying and reading the Bible. Then they met with me for two hours each week to discuss their studies. Within one year everyone of those people had started some kind of community outreach to reach people to Christ. The people went from being tired and discouraged to sharing their faith while at the same time reaching people for Christ.

When people get the vision Christ gave in reaching people for Christ and making disciples there is an unquenchable joy that can be gotten no other way.

3 Jn 4, "I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth."

Ask that pastor to read http://www.bibleteacher.org/Dm118_8.htm

 

[mnw]

Seems to me the churches that thrive are built and continued by those who are willing and happy to be in church at least three times a week. Its not about a secret 3-a-week formula, but the attitude that often accompanies it.

That's not a blanket statement, just seems a general trend.

Those with genuinely good attitudes bring their families along, their families have a good time, they are strong families and they are a blessing to others and help the church grow. Some here seem to say that it is either family or church.

You know, I have this super-pharisee like 15 year old kid in the church. He could play in major soccer teams and move up into the big money as he grows older. But you know what this little legalist believes? He thinks he should be in church on a Sunday rather than playing football? Amazing! (Instead he plays in the significantly less important Saturday leagues...)

I enjoyed Tim's posts. I think they contain a lot of truth.

I am not dictatorial about services. This week one of the most faithful men in the church, probably the most faithful man in the church, came to me and said he may not be able to make it Wednesday. Knowing his normal faithful routine I said that's fine, it happens. He apologised and explained the situation. I was fine with that.

On the other hand I have a those who are only there once a week.

Some of them have very good reasons for not being there other times, others I have known in other churches are the ones that make it sound like they're doing God a favour coming along and they tend to be the ones who are most critical but do the least.

Anyway, we may end up with some strong families with no churches to go to... There has got to be balance between all the priorities God has put in our lives.

 

[Steven2006]

I will clarify first, that I don't go as regular as I would like. Like I am sure with many of us, for one reason or another there are times when things just seem to come up. Regardless if it is someone sick, poor planning of time, or just worn out, it just does seem to happen.

However, I do feel bad when we don't go regularly to all services as a family. A lot of people on this thread seem to make it about what is important to them and how they feel about it. But in my opinion the bible is very clear in Hebrews 10:25 that we should not forsake assembling together. Obviously if God instructs us to be there it must be better to be there. Maybe not always easy. but sounds like always better. I have to say that I cannot think of a time were even though I almost didn't go, or didn't really feel like it, once having gone, not been happy I went. I try and remind myself of that when it seems like it is hard to "squeeze" in.

Another reason I believe we are instructed to go is found in the verse just prior to verse twenty-five. In Hebrews 10:24 it tells us to "consider how to simulate one another to love and good deads," Then it goes right into verse twenty-five instructing us not to forsake our assembly together. I believe it is not just about us, and what we get out of being there. While yes that is important, I believe many times by going to a Wed. night service or the Sunday evening service, I might also be encouraging others. God knows we need each other. He instructs us to be there when we assembly together for both us and the others.

Once other thing I think of when I find it hard to make it. I remember a Missionary once showing us slides of some remote church. I don't even remember where I think somewhere in South America maybe. But what stuck in my mind was picture of people that had walked fourteen hours in the mountains just to be able to hear the word of God preached to them. Then had to walk back fourteen hours again afterwards. In comparison usually anything hectic we have going on gets put in a proper perspective when I recall that.

But I do agree it is not always easy, and I also admit I don't go to all services as regular as I would like. Something I have to pray about and work harder at. I would only add to the original OP, that if you do go to many of the other services, and go with the right spirit of heart, and you consistently still get nothing out of it, you might want to consider looking for another church.