Having a opposite-sex Friend if you are Married

[evangelist6589]

Biblical or not if NOTHING is going on? I imagine certain activities would be out of the question such as spending time alone, calling, and possibly texting. But talking would be okay if in person and with others, etc..

A gal at work I want to lead to Christ but not sure how. I am her friend. Perhaps I can offer to pay for her and her husband going out to dinner perhaps that may be a way to give a gospel presentation and draw them closer to salvation. What say you? How should I do this?

 

[blessedwife318]

Since she is married and you are married, this is dangerous ground. My suggestion would be to invite them out as a couple with you and your wife, and you focus you attention on the husband, while you wife talks to her. Become couple friends with them, but you should not zero in on the wife, but you could instead zero in on her husband.

 

[Rolfe]

Since she is married and you are married, this is dangerous ground. My suggestion would be to invite them out as a couple with you and your wife, and you focus you attention on the husband, while you wife talks to her. Become couple friends with them, but you should not zero in on the wife, but you could instead zero in on her husband.

Good post.

 

[padredurand]

Thread title: Having a opposite sex fiend if you are married

From the dictionary:

fiend ~ noun
1. Satan; the devil.
2. any evil spirit; demon.
3. a diabolically cruel or wicked person. Synonyms: monster, savage, brute, beast, devil.
4.a person or thing that causes mischief or annoyance: Those children are little fiends.
5. Informal. a person who is extremely addicted to some pernicious habit:
an opium fiend.
6. Informal. a person who is excessively interested in some game, sport, etc.; fan; buff: a bridge fiend.
7. a person who is highly skilled or gifted in something: a fiend at languages.

Not interested in chasing any rabbits but you might want to get that thread title fixed.

 

[Don]

Oh.

OH. "Friend," not "fiend."

That makes a lot more sense, in context of the actual OP.

 

[Don]

By the way: BlessedWife's post is ABSOLUTELY spot-on. I once witnessed to a young lady, and continued to disciple her after she professed salvation. Then someone brought it to my attention that maybe she was being a little too friendly, which I blew off because I ain't no Tom Cruise or Robert DeNiro. Then at one point, where she wanted to talk to me about something, I mentioned having my wife there with us; and she balked. Then she wanted to have me listen to a song out in the car, and didn't understand why I felt it was necessary to leave a car door open (ensuring the interior light was on). Then my wife mentioned something about the situation was getting fishy, so I started refusing to talk to her without someone else present. Shortly after that, she left the church and jumped in with the Lutherans.

Be careful, John. 1 Thess 5:22.

 

[evangelist6589]

Since she is married and you are married, this is dangerous ground. My suggestion would be to invite them out as a couple with you and your wife, and you focus you attention on the husband, while you wife talks to her. Become couple friends with them, but you should not zero in on the wife, but you could instead zero in on her husband.

Good plan. But what if my wife does not want to go? Then I do the evangelism myself? Note I won't go to the dinner table attempting to convert them, just make friends, get to know them better and so forth.

 

[evangelist6589]

By the way: BlessedWife's post is ABSOLUTELY spot-on. I once witnessed to a young lady, and continued to disciple her after she professed salvation. Then someone brought it to my attention that maybe she was being a little too friendly, which I blew off because I ain't no Tom Cruise or Robert DeNiro. Then at one point, where she wanted to talk to me about something, I mentioned having my wife there with us; and she balked. Then she wanted to have me listen to a song out in the car, and didn't understand why I felt it was necessary to leave a car door open (ensuring the interior light was on). Then my wife mentioned something about the situation was getting fishy, so I started refusing to talk to her without someone else present. Shortly after that, she left the church and jumped in with the Lutherans.

Be careful, John. 1 Thess 5:22.

I will. Thanks.

 

[Tom Bryant]

Good plan. But what if my wife does not want to go? Then I do the evangelism myself? Note I won't go to the dinner table attempting to convert them, just make friends, get to know them better and so forth.

Your wife needs to go so it can be a natural kind of conversation. It will look like a "sales pitch" if it's just you and them.

 

[Iconoclast]

Thread title: Having a opposite sex fiend if you are married

From the dictionary:



Not interested in chasing any rabbits but you might want to get that thread title fixed.

:applause::applause::

 

[kyredneck]

:applause::applause::

....and it's not just fiend, it's sex fiend.... he'd better run for the hills.

 

[wpe3bql]

he'd better run for the hills.

I had a uncle whose surname was Hill.

Based on that, I don't think the aforementioned fiend needs to pursue the Hill's.

He was a marksman with a double-barreled shot gun AND piloted his own Piper [not John] Cub.

Said fiend could neither run nor hide from Uncle Walt.

 

[evangelist6589]

....and it's not just fiend, it's sex fiend.... he'd better run for the hills.

And you'd best get quality time in with a Rabbit.

 

[Iconoclast]

....and it's not just fiend, it's sex fiend.... he'd better run for the hills.

Sounds like he better avoid this person altogether....

 

[Thousand Hills]

Sounds like he better avoid this person altogether....

I agree.

Evan, I've read enough of your threads here and everywhere else and just want to cut to the point. We all realize your zeal for the lost, that is great. But, I think you need to steer clear of trying to personally evangelize this particular co-worker. Pray for her, pray for her husband, live out your holy calling at work day to day and be a witness to her and other co-workers in that way. I say this because I get the sense that you are probably not mature enough to handle this situation if it doesn't go the way that you expect. I also get the sense that your still looking for something yourself. You seek it here in online communities, yet get upset when someone disagrees with you. Christ is enough, let him be sufficient. He has given you a wife and a step-son, focus your efforts on them, cultivate your relationships there (you've only been married for a couple years right?) This whole scenario has trainwreck written all over it IMO. Stay away, take care of business at home.

 

[salzer mtn]

Evan do as you please, I know you will anyway.

 

[Dr. Bob]

I fixed the title.

Even the most pure heart/motive (to see co-worker come to Christ) can lead to sexual tension when it is male/female.

Feel free to share the Gospel, perhaps give a short pamphlet, etc, and express spiritual concern. But NEVER go beyond that into one-on-one "counsel", deep talks, time alone, focus, etc. Trust me (and trust the Word that warns about putting yourself in such situations)

 

[evangelist6589]

I fixed the title.

Even the most pure heart/motive (to see co-worker come to Christ) can lead to sexual tension when it is male/female.

Feel free to share the Gospel, perhaps give a short pamphlet, etc, and express spiritual concern. But NEVER go beyond that into one-on-one "counsel", deep talks, time alone, focus, etc. Trust me (and trust the Word that warns about putting yourself in such situations)

Deep talks..... Hmm... I have never been alone with her but we did have deep talks. Hmm.. This makes me think.

My evangelism book says to evangelize women and do whatever necessary but perhaps the author is blind in this area. Nope this was not a Comfort book. The author boasted of a time he evangelized a prostitute in her car.

 

[evangelist6589]

Evan do as you please, I know you will anyway.

Not really.

 

[Rolfe]

The author boasted of a time he evangelized a prostitute in her car.

I would consider this to be very suspect.