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Holding Hands
- Thread starter Clean1
- Start date
NaasPreacher (C4K)
Well-Known Member
Being a "good kisser" is not a valid part of deciding who God would have you to marry. Testing our what some is "good at" can lead a lot farther than kissing.
G
Glory-to-God
Guest
Well here is what I would say. I would hope no one is beyond teaching after marriage....married life is all about learning about each other in many areas and this one is no differnt...that is half the fun along with half the frustration.
As far as someone having bad breath that is always curable....there is a reason for it and I have heard it is usually from not brushing ones tongue far back enough.
I do know of someone who remained a virgin who married a virgin....but his wife to be didn't tell him till after their marriage that her father fondled her and all the problems growing up...so to this day they have problems in this area...since she isn't able to overcome it no matter what they do.
Very important to be honest with a potential future spouse about such things....so both can seek help and make wiser decissions before. He said if he knew then what he knows now he wouldn't have married her.
NaasPreacher (C4K)
Well-Known Member
I realise that this is going off topic, but could not let this pass without a note. I apologise.
That poor wife - knowing that her husband doesn't love her enough to put up with the difficulties of abuse. By God's grace these problems are solveable. Nothing is impossible with Him.
This would leave every abused child without any hope of a happy, godly marital relationship.
My heart breaks for this poor woman. How unloved she must feel. To be abused by her father and rejected by her husband.
Yes, be honset so you can avoid this kind of tragedy.
That is VERY encouraging, certainly!
Guidance to keep from ridiculous extremes in EITHER direction is needed, especially in impressionable young people. I believe she's got the idea of purity down quite efficiently. That's great! Hopefully she now has the idea of taking it to possibly harmful extremes under control too.
It's not as hard as it all sounds. God gave us some pretty basic and simply guidelines in the scriptures, follow them along with your parents advice and you're good to go.
Concentrate on your heart and on the word. If you're not doing something wrong don't let Satan and his influences make you have doubts, he loves to make you waste your time feeling guilty over dumb stuff that doesn't matter...takes away from our attempts to live right because we're too busy sweating the things that make no difference one way or another! </font>[/QUOTE]Amen to that Gina!
TennisNE1,
You get "bad" at it by practicing badly. What exactly IS a bad kisser, anyway? It is each person's individual preferences. What your husband might like, my husband might hate. Are you going to "practice" on another woman's husband??
If you are dating a young man, and he DOESN'T become your husband, than you are practicing on anOTHER woman's husband.
I would rather become a good kisser based on my OWN husband's preferences, than based on another guy's preferences.
This "practice" idea is very dangerous and actually worldly. The world doesn't stop at practicing with just kissing......and by going THIS far, you are taking steps toward following the world the REST of the way. Id rather not go there.
You get "bad" at it by practicing badly. What exactly IS a bad kisser, anyway? It is each person's individual preferences. What your husband might like, my husband might hate. Are you going to "practice" on another woman's husband??
If you are dating a young man, and he DOESN'T become your husband, than you are practicing on anOTHER woman's husband.
I would rather become a good kisser based on my OWN husband's preferences, than based on another guy's preferences.
This "practice" idea is very dangerous and actually worldly. The world doesn't stop at practicing with just kissing......and by going THIS far, you are taking steps toward following the world the REST of the way. Id rather not go there.
NaasPreacher (C4K)
Well-Known Member
I am in agreememnt with bapmom on this one.
Using this same logic how are we going to know if our potential future spouse is good a marital intimacy unless we try it before hand?
Young people must be VERY careful in their physical relationships before marriage and not be experimenting if the person is a good kisser or anything elser.
The passage is clear. The idea is touching in a way that excites the flesh. I was young once, we all know that is is possible for virtually any kind of touch to excite the flesh. If hand holding is enough to excite your flesh, than it should be avoided. It is also possible to remember the exciting of the other person's flesh as well.
Young folks, be very, very careful how far you take your physical contact. You know in your hear if your contact is sinful. Ask yourself if the feelings and emotions you encounter during physical contact are oure and holy and if thoughts thoughts and emotions are God honouring.
After all these years my wife's touch, even a simple touch, can still be exciting. Who are we to think that young people are immune to such feelings.
[ November 13, 2005, 11:49 AM: Message edited by: C4K ]
Using this same logic how are we going to know if our potential future spouse is good a marital intimacy unless we try it before hand?
Young people must be VERY careful in their physical relationships before marriage and not be experimenting if the person is a good kisser or anything elser.
The passage is clear. The idea is touching in a way that excites the flesh. I was young once, we all know that is is possible for virtually any kind of touch to excite the flesh. If hand holding is enough to excite your flesh, than it should be avoided. It is also possible to remember the exciting of the other person's flesh as well.
Young folks, be very, very careful how far you take your physical contact. You know in your hear if your contact is sinful. Ask yourself if the feelings and emotions you encounter during physical contact are oure and holy and if thoughts thoughts and emotions are God honouring.
After all these years my wife's touch, even a simple touch, can still be exciting. Who are we to think that young people are immune to such feelings.
[ November 13, 2005, 11:49 AM: Message edited by: C4K ]
Im 15. Im a girl. If i was dating a boy and we started holding hands i believe that that is wrong. Unless i had fallen and he was helping me up, that would be the only time he was allowed to hold my hand. I am very very modest and self conscious. If i started to hold hands with someone i liked pretty soon that would get old. Then i would want to kiss him. That also would get old. You get the picture. That is what im talking about. If you hold hands in prayer, to comfort someone, to say hi, that is completely fine. Dont take effense Gina. And no... Im not the kind of person who thinks about (you know) all the time. Im talking about affection... not just holding hands.
I agree with Bapmom and C4K. Kissing before marriage is wrong. For 1) its very wordly, 2) when that gets boring...whats next, 3) 1Pt:2:11, "... abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.", and that one verse? "Abstain from all appearences of evil." i dont know where its at. Im Im talking about unmarried peoples. Is kissing a fleshly desire? Do most wordly people kiss and whatever else before marriage? Then it is wrong. Im proud to say that im a virgin and plan to stay that way till marriage. Virginity is the most precious gift you can give your spouse. If your not a virgin and you married a virgin, don't you think that the spouse would think that your used? does that make sense? On movies that involve sexuall activity, what lead the characters to fornication? Kissing. Think about it.
T
TaterTot
Guest
I can understand that sentiment, Clean1, and I applaud you for your fine morality. But basing that practice on the verse mentioned just hasnt been reconciled very well. I think that is the issue, mainly. Scripture does not mandate that young people should or should not hold hands.
i love holding people's hands. i also love giving people hugs. now, i don't go around to strangers doing this. that's just creepy.
if you're going to tell me that when i hug my friends, or hold their hands, for whatever reason, that my hormones are going to skyrocket and can't control myself? ha. i laughed later that evening. you don't know me. i don't know any of yous.
that verse. there's got to be more scripture then that mentioned to support your decision. although i respect it. just don't go telling people that holding hands or hugging people is sinful.
have a gooder.
gekko.
if you're going to tell me that when i hug my friends, or hold their hands, for whatever reason, that my hormones are going to skyrocket and can't control myself? ha. i laughed later that evening. you don't know me. i don't know any of yous.
that verse. there's got to be more scripture then that mentioned to support your decision. although i respect it. just don't go telling people that holding hands or hugging people is sinful.
have a gooder.
gekko.
Tennis,
Im amazed that a pastor's wife would tell a teenage girl that its ok to go out there and hug and kiss and hold hands with her boyfriend!
I truly am just shocked at it!
What are you teaching the teenage girls in your church?
Im hoping for MORE girls like Clean1 to be cropping up in my church, we see enough girls led down the road towards children having babies as it is.
And I would absolutely NEVER come in a youth forum and actually advocate practicing kissing to them! I really think you should rethink your stance....or at least only teach it to YOUR girls at your church.
We'll see how it works out for ya in about 18 years.
Im amazed that a pastor's wife would tell a teenage girl that its ok to go out there and hug and kiss and hold hands with her boyfriend!
I truly am just shocked at it!
What are you teaching the teenage girls in your church?
Im hoping for MORE girls like Clean1 to be cropping up in my church, we see enough girls led down the road towards children having babies as it is.
And I would absolutely NEVER come in a youth forum and actually advocate practicing kissing to them! I really think you should rethink your stance....or at least only teach it to YOUR girls at your church.
We'll see how it works out for ya in about 18 years.
PastorSBC1303
Active Member
Did I miss something...when did Tennis say those things? I just saw her making a joke with a bunch of smileys? Maybe I just missed it... 