I know you don't believe this but I used to have the same conviction, but now having been on both sides of this debate I see it completely opposite now. It is not my conviction that Calvinism is doctrine that puts God into a box and "lessons" him in a sense. It's really all about the perspective, because when you believe that for God to maintain his sovereignty he must be in complete control over every intent, act and event (good or evil), then you have just limited God. You have limited him by presuming something about his supernatural nature and abilities (i.e. he MUST do this in order to be that). It's the presumption that God is bigger or more powerful if He is playing both sides of the chess board, rather than His actual defeat of a enemy He has chosen to give real dominion, real power, real authority and real choice. This is false and biblically unsupported premise, in my view.
Arminian theology attaches no more importance upon man than God does. Man's significance is only as significant as God himself reveals, and according to His revelation, God so loved us that he GAVE his only begotten Son. It is in that and that alone we find any significance. There is not an Arminian or non-Cal theologian in this world worth his salt who would EVER put man above God in any respect. He is supreme and always maintains "first place" in all things, and if you think that is a belief unique to Calvinism you are sadly mistaken. Like Aaron, you are attacking straw-men.
Couple of points here to consider...
please remember that Calvinist have 'differing" shades to the understanding of that system...
High/Hyper Cals DO see God has being inabsolute control directly of all things, the determiner/direct cause.. So little need to witness/evangelise, as God will save his people, no need for them to even hear Gospel and exercise faith, will get saved regardless...
those of my "camp' still do have God in absolute control, BUT do see that God causes some things directly, allows/permits other things. Either direct cause/allowed, God still though knows what will happen, and already has predetermined what will be the end result, factoring in what he has done and what has been permitted..
Do Arminians than hold that man does have 'total free will?"
Might say that man does, but a Cal would say that ONLY 2 men ever had "total free will" up to now...
Adam and Jesus, as both were "without: sin natures as rest of us are after the fall....
That is why Cals see God has to work in/thru us, as we are found in Adam, and spiritual deaf now...
Also, cals tend to place the "importance" on God for the Cross of Christ... Arminians tend to see the price of Jesus death showing us how Worthy we are, how much value God places in us to send His Son to die for us...
Cals tend to see that the Cross shows us more in how loving and great God is, that He is the sigificant one involved....
Arms say that we are so much worth to God jesus sent to die for us...
Cals say God gets glory by Jesus willing to die for us, in that in ourselves have NOTHING to appeal/make us worthy/worth it to God to save us....
Interesting discussion!