Featured Is effeminacy a problem?

Luke, I know exactly what you are talking about. I have known many men in my life who act like this to varying degrees who were absolutely not gay.

I wouldn't make an issue over it, even if it were my own child. Little boys will sometimes pick up dolls and play with them, doesn't mean a thing. To them it is just an interesting toy.

If you want to know the real issue with gay men, most gay men had a very poor relationship with their father. This has been shown many times. Elton John is an example, his father was a military officer and very disciplined. He expected very manly behavior from Elton, Elton could never meet his father's expectations and became what we call a "Momma's Boy". This has been shown to be the case with many gay men.

I don't know if your child is displaying some effeminate behavior, but I wouldn't make a big fuss over it. Show the boy you love him the way he is. All boys can act effeminate at times, doesn't mean a thing.

 

The fact that we even have to ask this question is sad.

 

In what way?

 

FAL, you are so very, very, very wrong in this. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a little boy playing Princess with his five-year-old sister, just as there is nothing equally wrong when she turns around and plays trucks and cars with him. If he wanted to wear dresses to church we might have a different discussion but in the world of let's believe and imagination there's nothing wrong. Matter of fact, I wish I had a camera at the moment he put his hands on his hips and told us that he was a princess, not Bubba. It was a priceless expression on his face.

Imagination and creative play are important and vital parts of growing up. It helps form children's futures. Doesn't mean he'll want to grow up and be a princess. Playing with dolls and dishes is just as important for little boys as it is for little girls. Doesn't mean they'll grow up and be gay. Might mean they're willing to help their wives with the dishes when she's had a very hard day with the children. Learning to play softball, blocks and playing with trucks and cars is equally important for little girls. Doesn't mean they'll be lesbians. Might mean they can change a lightbulb, however, and know which end of the hammer to use and what a screwdriver does!

I think some have become wound too tightly overly worried that their child is gay because they don't follow a rigid idea of what is "proper" for a boy to do or a girl to do. Who decided those rules anyway? You? My two sons, now ages 33 and 31 both had Cabbage Patch dolls, the youngest also had a My Buddy doll. Neither are anywhere in the vicinity of being gay. My oldest took 2nd place in the state for wrestling and played Offensive tackle in high school football. The youngest Defensive End.

We've GOT to get over the preconceived idea that certain childhood activities are going to result in turning a child "gay". Nothing could be further from the truth.

 

The way someone talks, moves, walks, etc is not a sin, and does not make someone a homosexual. People are different. Different does not equate sinful.

 

Sure seems some are implying such.

 

As far as I am concerned, if a born again completly heterosexual christian man walks a bit diferently then most men..maybe in a way that some might view as "effiminate..or carries himself differently..thats nobodies buisiness but his.

It should be a complete non-issue.

 

1. Whose idea of effeminate behavior?

2. What specifically is he doing?

If he's not wearing girls underwear and running around in dresses and high heels or bringing home boys to meet mom and dad instead of girls, then No I probably wouldn't be overly concerned.

If he's wearing black nail polish...that's pretty normal (I remember when our youngest wanted to dye his hair blue...I do believe that was when he was about 15....we compromised on blue hair gel instead)....it's a phase. (our oldest grandson has red hair, everybody made fun of him...he dyed it black and is now in a rock band...oy. We hope he grows out of it...he's 17)

If his voice is high pitched....that's just how some men's voices are. Not all men are basses. Some are tenors.

Not all boys like football, some prefer chess. Not all boys are auto mechanics, some are great chefs or hairdressers. Some boys are athletes, some are artists. Our world wouldn't be very well rounded, and a lot of things would be undone if all men were football players or auto mechanics.

If you've got him in church, he hears the TRUTH of God's Word regularly, and he has a good solid home foundation, if he trusts you and knows he can confide in you about anything then I wouldn't overly worry, no.

 

Clearly we disagree on the matter of raising boys and girls.

 

Yes yes, that is it completely. Not sure why my thoughts bother you, but I don't really care. I stand by them. This discussion is sad.

 

I would agree, that there may be noting of it but how Luke worded his OP and his following replies the actions he mentioned shows there may very well be something wrong and should be comfronted in private in love.

 

Be nice. :smilewinkgrin:

 

TadQueasy why is it sad to discuss the issues we face today in the world we are faced with with the hopes of handling those issues in a Christ like manner?

 

If that was what was taking place it wouldn't be as sad.

 

It would not be AS sad? But still sad? So what do you think is taking place?

 

Luke, that is not what she said. The boy has sisters, he was playing with his sister's toys. And sometimes the sisters play with his toys, big deal.

I can't help but suspect this is some type of family issue with you. If so, love the boy the way he is. Do some "guy stuff" with him, go out and throw a football or baseball, take him fishing, etc...