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Is effeminacy a problem?

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Winman

Active Member
Luke2427 said:
It is hard to explain in writing.

Have you ever seen some of these interior decorating shows where these men walk, talk and move very differently from other men? (No, not all interior decorator men are effeminate by any means)

Do you remember the show, In Living Color? There were two characters portrayed on that show as gay guys commentating on movies and they would give the movie "two snaps and a twist" and such like that?

The way these men move, etc... is distinctly feminine.

Now, some men walk and talk and act just like these men who are openly gay even though they themselves are not gay.

Is it okay to do so?



I've not seen this. I bet you'd be hard pressed to produce an example.

I find that manliness is far more criticized in this culture today than a lack of it.



Some men who are not gay do walk, talk and act like very effeminate men who are gay.

Is this okay?
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Luke, I know exactly what you are talking about. I have known many men in my life who act like this to varying degrees who were absolutely not gay.

I wouldn't make an issue over it, even if it were my own child. Little boys will sometimes pick up dolls and play with them, doesn't mean a thing. To them it is just an interesting toy.

If you want to know the real issue with gay men, most gay men had a very poor relationship with their father. This has been shown many times. Elton John is an example, his father was a military officer and very disciplined. He expected very manly behavior from Elton, Elton could never meet his father's expectations and became what we call a "Momma's Boy". This has been shown to be the case with many gay men.

I don't know if your child is displaying some effeminate behavior, but I wouldn't make a big fuss over it. Show the boy you love him the way he is. All boys can act effeminate at times, doesn't mean a thing.
 
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DiamondLady

New Member
freeatlast said:
I would disagree that that kind of thing is OK even for a child. The parents need to step in and direct him to things that are more suited for boys. He should not be claiming to be a princess even at that age.
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FAL, you are so very, very, very wrong in this. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a little boy playing Princess with his five-year-old sister, just as there is nothing equally wrong when she turns around and plays trucks and cars with him. If he wanted to wear dresses to church we might have a different discussion but in the world of let's believe and imagination there's nothing wrong. Matter of fact, I wish I had a camera at the moment he put his hands on his hips and told us that he was a princess, not Bubba. It was a priceless expression on his face.

Imagination and creative play are important and vital parts of growing up. It helps form children's futures. Doesn't mean he'll want to grow up and be a princess. Playing with dolls and dishes is just as important for little boys as it is for little girls. Doesn't mean they'll grow up and be gay. Might mean they're willing to help their wives with the dishes when she's had a very hard day with the children. Learning to play softball, blocks and playing with trucks and cars is equally important for little girls. Doesn't mean they'll be lesbians. Might mean they can change a lightbulb, however, and know which end of the hammer to use and what a screwdriver does!

I think some have become wound too tightly overly worried that their child is gay because they don't follow a rigid idea of what is "proper" for a boy to do or a girl to do. Who decided those rules anyway? You? My two sons, now ages 33 and 31 both had Cabbage Patch dolls, the youngest also had a My Buddy doll. Neither are anywhere in the vicinity of being gay. My oldest took 2nd place in the state for wrestling and played Offensive tackle in high school football. The youngest Defensive End.

We've GOT to get over the preconceived idea that certain childhood activities are going to result in turning a child "gay". Nothing could be further from the truth.
 
A

Alive in Christ

New Member
As far as I am concerned, if a born again completly heterosexual christian man walks a bit diferently then most men..maybe in a way that some might view as "effiminate..or carries himself differently..thats nobodies buisiness but his.

It should be a complete non-issue.
 
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DiamondLady

New Member
Luke2427 said:
What about when he's 15 and he acts effeminate, not intermittently, but all of the time?

Will that be a problem for you then, if that comes to pass?
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1. Whose idea of effeminate behavior?

2. What specifically is he doing?

If he's not wearing girls underwear and running around in dresses and high heels or bringing home boys to meet mom and dad instead of girls, then No I probably wouldn't be overly concerned.

If he's wearing black nail polish...that's pretty normal (I remember when our youngest wanted to dye his hair blue...I do believe that was when he was about 15....we compromised on blue hair gel instead)....it's a phase. (our oldest grandson has red hair, everybody made fun of him...he dyed it black and is now in a rock band...oy. We hope he grows out of it...he's 17)

If his voice is high pitched....that's just how some men's voices are. Not all men are basses. Some are tenors.

Not all boys like football, some prefer chess. Not all boys are auto mechanics, some are great chefs or hairdressers. Some boys are athletes, some are artists. Our world wouldn't be very well rounded, and a lot of things would be undone if all men were football players or auto mechanics.

If you've got him in church, he hears the TRUTH of God's Word regularly, and he has a good solid home foundation, if he trusts you and knows he can confide in you about anything then I wouldn't overly worry, no.
 
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freeatlast

New Member
DiamondLady said:
FAL, you are so very, very, very wrong in this. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a little boy playing Princess with his five-year-old sister, just as there is nothing equally wrong when she turns around and plays trucks and cars with him. If he wanted to wear dresses to church we might have a different discussion but in the world of let's believe and imagination there's nothing wrong. Matter of fact, I wish I had a camera at the moment he put his hands on his hips and told us that he was a princess, not Bubba. It was a priceless expression on his face.

Imagination and creative play are important and vital parts of growing up. It helps form children's futures. Doesn't mean he'll want to grow up and be a princess. Playing with dolls and dishes is just as important for little boys as it is for little girls. Doesn't mean they'll grow up and be gay. Might mean they're willing to help their wives with the dishes when she's had a very hard day with the children. Learning to play softball, blocks and playing with trucks and cars is equally important for little girls. Doesn't mean they'll be lesbians. Might mean they can change a lightbulb, however, and know which end of the hammer to use and what a screwdriver does!

I think some have become wound too tightly overly worried that their child is gay because they don't follow a rigid idea of what is "proper" for a boy to do or a girl to do. Who decided those rules anyway? You? My two sons, now ages 33 and 31 both had Cabbage Patch dolls, the youngest also had a My Buddy doll. Neither are anywhere in the vicinity of being gay. My oldest took 2nd place in the state for wrestling and played Offensive tackle in high school football. The youngest Defensive End.

We've GOT to get over the preconceived idea that certain childhood activities are going to result in turning a child "gay". Nothing could be further from the truth.
Click to expand...

Clearly we disagree on the matter of raising boys and girls.
 
F

freeatlast

New Member
TadQueasy said:
The way someone talks, moves, walks, etc is not a sin, and does not make someone a homosexual. People are different. Different does not equate sinful.
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I would agree, that there may be noting of it but how Luke worded his OP and his following replies the actions he mentioned shows there may very well be something wrong and should be comfronted in private in love.
 
F

freeatlast

New Member
TadQueasy said:
Yes yes, that is it completely.:rolleyes: Not sure why my thoughts bother you, but I don't really care. I stand by them. This discussion is sad.
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TadQueasy why is it sad to discuss the issues we face today in the world we are faced with with the hopes of handling those issues in a Christ like manner?
 
L

Luke2427

Active Member
DiamondLady said:
FAL, you are so very, very, very wrong in this. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a little boy playing Princess with his five-year-old sister, just as there is nothing equally wrong when she turns around and plays trucks and cars with him. If he wanted to wear dresses to church we might have a different discussion but in the world of let's believe and imagination there's nothing wrong. Matter of fact, I wish I had a camera at the moment he put his hands on his hips and told us that he was a princess, not Bubba. It was a priceless expression on his face.

Imagination and creative play are important and vital parts of growing up. It helps form children's futures. Doesn't mean he'll want to grow up and be a princess. Playing with dolls and dishes is just as important for little boys as it is for little girls. Doesn't mean they'll grow up and be gay. Might mean they're willing to help their wives with the dishes when she's had a very hard day with the children. Learning to play softball, blocks and playing with trucks and cars is equally important for little girls. Doesn't mean they'll be lesbians. Might mean they can change a lightbulb, however, and know which end of the hammer to use and what a screwdriver does!

I think some have become wound too tightly overly worried that their child is gay because they don't follow a rigid idea of what is "proper" for a boy to do or a girl to do. Who decided those rules anyway? You? My two sons, now ages 33 and 31 both had Cabbage Patch dolls, the youngest also had a My Buddy doll. Neither are anywhere in the vicinity of being gay. My oldest took 2nd place in the state for wrestling and played Offensive tackle in high school football. The youngest Defensive End.

We've GOT to get over the preconceived idea that certain childhood activities are going to result in turning a child "gay". Nothing could be further from the truth.
Click to expand...

I just could not disagree with this more, I don't think.

I do agree that just because a boy plays with dishes doesn't mean he is going to be gay.

But I could not disagree more that it is as important for girls to play with boy toys as it is for boys and the reverse.

I cannot FATHOM a parent buying barbies for their boys, for example.

I think it is pretty clear that God intended men and women to be very different from one another.

I think it is pretty clear that the general design of the Maker is that men are to be more rugged and women are to be more beautiful.

I think when men try to be as beautiful as women and women try to be as rugged as men they insult the Maker's wisdom- and it seems like rebellion against his authority to define roles for his creatures.
 
W

Winman

Active Member
Luke2427 said:
I just could not disagree with this more, I don't think.

I do agree that just because a boy plays with dishes doesn't mean he is going to be gay.

But I could not disagree more that it is as important for girls to play with boy toys as it is for boys and the reverse.

I cannot FATHOM a parent buying barbies for their boys, for example.

I think it is pretty clear that God intended men and women to be very different from one another.

I think it is pretty clear that the general design of the Maker is that men are to be more rugged and women are to be more beautiful.

I think when men try to be as beautiful as women and women try to be as rugged as men they insult the Maker's wisdom- and it seems like rebellion against his authority to define roles for his creatures.
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Luke, that is not what she said. The boy has sisters, he was playing with his sister's toys. And sometimes the sisters play with his toys, big deal.

I can't help but suspect this is some type of family issue with you. If so, love the boy the way he is. Do some "guy stuff" with him, go out and throw a football or baseball, take him fishing, etc...
 
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