Making friends at Church

[evangelist6589]

I suppose you dont like the idea of mens meetings situated at pubs....where you can watch the sports channel / ball game, talk about Christ & mens issues & even go help with a Habitat for Humanity or build a ramp at an elderly shut ins house to give them mobility....you know, mens stuff (like sharing a beer & a berger).

Beer??? I do not drink beer. I drink Mikes Hard Lemonade which is not beer. But yes I want to get involved with men.

 

[evangelist6589]

Doesn't really matter what I like does it? :tongue3:

It is what his "spouse" (who says this?) likes that matters isn't it?

Most new wives are funny, many of them like their husband to spend time with them. Some are not too keen on a fellow running around with his friends like he is still single. Wives are funny like that.

I have noticed this. I am adjusting..

 

[evangelist6589]

1 Corinthians 7:33 (KJV) 33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please [his] wife.

1 Corinthians 7:34 (KJV) 34 There is difference [also] between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please [her] husband.

Evangelist, seek the things that please your wife. If you don't, you may one day lose her.

Very good advice, unless what she wants goes against the scripture. One area of disagreement is this. She is IFB and holds on to "separation" and so in her world christians do not watch TV, listen to the radio, nor get involved. In my world a Christian is the salt of the earth and the light of the world. Christians know the culture but seek to transform it and not just "separate" from it. So I will write up people, make calls, and do what I can to preach the gospel. I have confronted liberals, hell bound heretics, celebrities, and politicians to get them to REPENT. One day a liberal was mocking the Bible on the radio while I was listening on my phone. I then called that talk show and gave the liberal the truth and told him the error of his ways and his hell bound future. He did not like it and cut me off. She would not do this, because she would just "separate" from everything and everyone which I do not agree with.

Also she appreciates WOTM but does not seek to fellowship with WOTM like minded churches and brethren. I bet its their music style, dress attire, or what not that bothers her as WOTM groups are not Fundamentalists.

 

[evangelist6589]

I would recommend finding other young married couples (or young dating couples) and maybe a few older married couples and have them over for dinner. You'd be surprised at how much we might have in common - even without a lot in common. We've done this and honestly, having the Lord in common means a lot more than you think.

She knows everyone in the church so this would be a great idea. Thanks!!

 

[evangelist6589]

Some of my best friends are from church. But, more of my best friends are who I have lived life with, whether it be college or whatever.

I tend to find a lot of shallow "acquaintance" relationships at church, too. It is what it is.

Then I am not alone. Its not me its just the context. However from what I hear the singles at my old church do miss me and I keep in regular contact with many of them.

 

[evangelist6589]

Sometimes friends and church members do not mix. Many church members tend to have big mouths and long noses. To be a friend, one must be able to confide a situation in them without their jaws flapping to the world. That seems to be an automatic reflex with many at church. I guess you could liken it to involuntary muscular activity, such as a heartbeat.

Another mark of a friend is common interests, such as hobbies. Gossip is not a hobby of mine. People I keep in a close circle of friends are not judgmental, do not foam at the mouth until they can run and tell, and have as much trust and respect for me as I do them. I probably have five or so very close friends at church. Most I am cordial to, but keep a division between them and my out of church life.

Very wise post. I had this in common with my last church and the singles group. However prior to January 2011 I had visited many churches and never had any close friends. I wont fit in everywhere....

 

[evangelist6589]

The church does not exist to provide activities in order to find friends. If you cannot find a common bond with others beneath the Cross of Jesus you will not find one anywhere else.

This is false.... I have seen this theory proved to be false.

 

[evangelist6589]

Yes but..... stuff like the church may be filled with folks not in his & his wives age bracket, They might not be members of the same community, Our hero might have a different belief system that doesn't jibe....yada yada.

If memory serves our hero is going to his wives Fundamentalist Church & he had some concerns about it. soooo....like dat!

Hero? Yes I am going to a IFB church. I would prefer a good SBC church but God has me here....

 

[evangelist6589]

If you do not have a spouse that is respectful of your space....& Im not referring to your going out with the boys in a raucous drinking & carousing binge, but time out doing some guy things that will most likely honor the Lord, then she is very insecure & not confident of her marriage....then I would start counceling RIGHT NOW. Otherwise your going to be very unhappy & a whipped puppy.

No brother, she should want a confident Christian man who takes his place as the head of the family, honors wife & family & can express his masculinity in fellowship with other Christian men. There are reasons God made us this way, & she should encourage you in this. What is wrong with evangelism, with helping others in the community, in having a beer with the boys, in playing hoops in a pickup game with Christian buddies etc? Absolutely nothing but good in my opinion.

Bad testimony... If I have a Mikes lemonade it would be alone and not in public due to my testimony. You seem to like to talk about beer do you not? Why?

 

[evangelist6589]

We have been so blessed by the Lord. At our church we are one big family. We love and communicate with each other. We, along with several other drive between 55 and 75 miles one way to church so we do things a little differently.

On Sunday we have a morning bible study time then we have a few minutes to share a small breakfast. We then have our morning service which includes plenty of singing and then some old-fashioned Bible preaching. After this we break and have a communal lunch and fellowship. Then we have our second service around 1:30 or 2:00. After this we either go home or fellowship for a while at the pastor's home before heading out.

We have know most of these people for between 20 and 30 years. God truly is great indeed!

One church I was a member of from 2004-January 2006 was like this.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Bad testimony... If I have a Mikes lemonade it would be alone and not in public due to my testimony. You seem to like to talk about beer do you not? Why?

I like it.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

We have been so blessed by the Lord. At our church we are one big family. We love and communicate with each other. We, along with several other drive between 55 and 75 miles one way to church so we do things a little differently.

On Sunday we have a morning bible study time then we have a few minutes to share a small breakfast. We then have our morning service which includes plenty of singing and then some old-fashioned Bible preaching. After this we break and have a communal lunch and fellowship. Then we have our second service around 1:30 or 2:00. After this we either go home or fellowship for a while at the pastor's home before heading out.

We have know most of these people for between 20 and 30 years. God truly is great indeed!

Is that it pretty much it or do you do anything else?

 

[evangelist6589]

I like it.

Do you get drunk?

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Do you get drunk?

Do you?:smilewinkgrin:

 

[padredurand]

Who is persecuting us?

NY/NJ folks don't persecute the church. They don't give it a second thought unless it is Christmas, Easter or Aunt Ethel's funeral. The persecuted church exists in most of the world. Our brothers and sisters are terrorized and murdered for professing Jesus Christ. Check some headlines here

We, as the Church Inconvenienced, still have a hissy fit because the bulletins were folded crooked. I can't make any friends at church falls into the same category.

Originally Posted by padredurand
The church does not exist to provide activities in order to find friends. If you cannot find a common bond with others beneath the Cross of Jesus you will not find one anywhere else.

This is false.... I have seen this theory proved to be false.

So you believe the church exists so you can have an activity to attend and maybe make friends?

You believe a social acquaintance to be a stronger bond than the Cross?

What in the name of Sam Hill are you teaching out there on the streets?

 

[Aaron]

I have been in places where I just do not fit in and have little in common with the people there as far as secondary interests. Some say you all have Christ in common which is true, but people want secondary interests and commonalities in order to connect and if you have little this will mean it will be hard to find friends. There is also the component of the church and they not having many ways to connect with others. At my present church they have very little for men and very little connection events. I have been to all that I could attend, but they just have very little.

Back in SC I visited a number of churches and had this problem, until I finally settled in on a church with a very active singles ministry and lots of ways to connect with one another and so I was successful at making friends and finding ways to connect. But there was others that visited our group and some where just older singles and they had this problem and eventually they just left and moved on. The missing variable was the activities and the churches where I had failed to make friends and connect had very little of it.

I also remember a guy in the singles ministry that was involved in 2 different churches singles ministry just so he could always be busy, have activities and make friends. During my singleness days this was easier, but my spouse is not all that social and wants to only go to one church all her life, which sooner or later is not going to work as I want to make friends and the only way this is going to happen is if I find other churches with more activities and ways for men to connect which I will do.

Whoa! Married just a short time and already griping about your antisocial wife and talking about needing friends !

Just live, and friends will happen.

Sheesh.

 

[Robert Snow]

Is that it pretty much it or do you do anything else?

Sorry bother, I don't quite understand what you are asking me.

 

[annsni]

Begging your pardon but I have family...I don't need church people being my family.

Then you are greatly missing out on a wonderful blessing.

 

[annsni]

Whoa! Married just a short time and already griping about your antisocial wife and talking about needing friends !

Just live, and friends will happen.

Sheesh.

He's actually not yet married.

 

[evangelist6589]

Do you?:smilewinkgrin:

Heavens no!!!!